johnmleech

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johnmleech

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3198
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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johnmleech's page activity

Visits<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 08/26/2016 at 10:29pm<b>anonymous0110902</b> - the 03/19/2016 at 1:18am<b>whatahatuis</b> - the 02/28/2016 at 1:40pm<b>Addiction333</b> - the 02/14/2016 at 5:50pm<b>sky_R03</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 11:38am<b>tVictoria</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 11:48am<b>paigexox0</b> - the 11/06/2015 at 3:37pm<b>Kitty1811</b> - the 10/27/2015 at 7:10am<b>saucybugger101</b> - the 09/28/2015 at 3:32pm<b>DeathofCareBear</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 7:56am<b>vintral88</b> - the 08/15/2015 at 2:31am<b>moo_mima_moo</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 6:17am<b>swaglesshipster</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 1:08am<b>annoyedperson</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 4:29am<b>pineappleeater</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 12:30pm<b>reillyg11</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 7:31pm<b>aishah77</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 7:36pm<b>happysmile987</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 5:04pm

Fucked!<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 05/16/2016 at 7:12pm

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johnmleech's favorite FMLs

Today, while changing a light bulb, I was electrocuted. I screamed before I blacked out. My entire family was home and heard me scream, but didn't come and check because they were too busy watching Glee. FML

by Burnt / 05/10/2011 at 9:21pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, Amazon didn't deliver the present I bought my mother for Mothering Sunday, so she called me an 'Ungrateful bastard.' And about half an hour ago, I cut my thumb whilst making her lunch. She said, 'You're doing this on purpose so I feel sorry for you. Well I don't.' FML

by Trainspotting / 04/03/2011 at 9:32am / United Kingdom (Staffordshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, my drunk mother got into a fight with the lady at Krystal burger. Why? "Because the bitch said they aren't making special orders." FML

by Krit / 02/10/2010 at 10:10am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my boyfriend isn't gay. Apparently, I just give good head. FML

by Anonymous / 01/24/2010 at 3:55am / Australia (Western Australia) / Intimacy

Today, I left work to find a note on my windshield that read, "I think you're cute," with a phone number written down as well. I got super excited and immediately dialed. The phone was answered by a woman laughing hysterically. It was my Mom. FML

by MarkTheShark / 12/12/2009 at 12:23am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, my family and I noticed that our Christmas tree had been stolen from our front garden. Last night, a group of girls from my village posted a status on Facebook stating how drunk they were, and how they had stolen a Christmas tree. I "liked" it. FML

by Marcella_03 / 12/05/2009 at 8:22am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my dad hides his Viagra from my mom by keeping it in an Aspirin container. Now I have a terrible headache and a boner. FML

by sickkid / 11/23/2009 at 1:05pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I drove 600 miles to be with my boyfriend of two years for his uncle's funeral. He didn't want me to come because I am seven months pregnant and flying is dangerous in the third trimester. When I got there I don't know who was more suprised to see me: him, his wife, or their kids. FML

by homewrecker / 11/08/2009 at 10:39am / United States / Love

Today, my mom drove me to football practice. On the way she told me that she thought I was gay and that my friend was my lover. After 15 agonizing minutes of this, we get to my practice only to be greeted by my shirtless friend wearing a pink bandana saying "Man, you hit me hard last night." FML

by Anonymous / 08/10/2009 at 3:10am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on his couch when suddenly I tried to get up. Before I could stand, he grabs onto me and says, "I'm a koala and you're my eucalyptus tree!" He then continued to latch onto me for a good five minutes pretending to eat my hair. FML

by treegirl / 07/26/2009 at 1:57am / United States / Love

Today, I took home my grandpa's ashes. I then went out with my grandma, leaving my 5-year-old at home with my 12-year-old. When I got home, my beaming 5-year-old opened the door, covered in white powder. My grandmother asked where all the powder had come from. She pointed to the empty ashbox. FML

by fcnk / 06/17/2009 at 10:40pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, my five year old daughter came up to me and asked, "Mom, why are we so poor?" I replied, in a sweet motherly tone "Honey, we're not poor." She then asked, "Then why do you dress like we are poor?" FML

by Anonymous / 05/16/2009 at 10:21pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, on my flight to Vegas, I was wishing that a really cute guy would come sit in the seat next to mine. A few minutes later, a really cute guy sat in the seat next to me and even started to talk to me. When I said, "I like rugged men." he said "Oh ya, me too! I really like buff guys also." FML

by vela9002 / 04/06/2009 at 3:40am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was out with my friend. My six year old daughter was also with us. While we were walking through the parking lot, my daughter asked me in a very loud voice "Mommy, does a blow job taste bad?" FML

by hala / 03/15/2009 at 10:18pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I just finished having dinner with my boyfriend, so I leaned over to him and said seductively, "How about some dessert?" Obviously, he didn't catch my tone, because he then looked at me and said, "Babe, you really don't need it." FML

by marshmallowssss / 03/11/2009 at 5:12pm / United States (Maryland) / Love