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johnmleech

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  • Number of visits : 1251
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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johnmleech's favorite FMLs

Today, while changing a light bulb, I was electrocuted. I screamed before I blacked out. My entire family was home and heard me scream, but didn't come and check because they were too busy watching Glee. FML

#16122609
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41750) - you deserved it (6918)

On 05/10/2011 at 9:21pm - misc - by Burnt (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, Amazon didn't deliver the present I bought my mother for Mothering Sunday, so she called me an 'Ungrateful bastard.' And about half an hour ago, I cut my thumb whilst making her lunch. She said, 'You're doing this on purpose so I feel sorry for you. Well I don't.' FML

#15618704
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34969) - you deserved it (3270)

On 04/03/2011 at 9:32am - misc - by Trainspotting - United Kingdom (Staffordshire)

Today, my drunk mother got into a fight with the lady at Krystal burger. Why? "Because the bitch said they aren't making special orders." FML

#8085656
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19768) - you deserved it (2184)

On 02/10/2010 at 10:10am - misc - by Krit - United States

Today, I found out that my boyfriend isn't gay. Apparently, I just give good head. FML

#7538814
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24415) - you deserved it (6576)

On 01/24/2010 at 3:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I left work to find a note on my windshield that read, "I think you're cute," with a phone number written down as well. I got super excited and immediately dialed. The phone was answered by a woman laughing hysterically. It was my Mom. FML

#6716817
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34526) - you deserved it (6042)

On 12/12/2009 at 12:23am - love - by MarkTheShark (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my family and I noticed that our Christmas tree had been stolen from our front garden. Last night, a group of girls from my village posted a status on Facebook stating how drunk they were, and how they had stolen a Christmas tree. I "liked" it. FML

#6613732
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23195) - you deserved it (14247)

On 12/05/2009 at 8:22am - misc - by Marcella_03 (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I drove 600 miles to be with my boyfriend of two years for his uncle's funeral. He didn't want me to come because I am seven months pregnant and flying is dangerous in the third trimester. When I got there I don't know who was more suprised to see me: him, his wife, or their kids. FML

#6210144
293 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73896) - you deserved it (5826)

On 11/08/2009 at 10:39am - love - by homewrecker - United States

Today, my mom drove me to football practice. On the way she told me that she thought I was gay and that my friend was my lover. After 15 agonizing minutes of this, we get to my practice only to be greeted by my shirtless friend wearing a pink bandana saying "Man, you hit me hard last night." FML

#4421825
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75792) - you deserved it (6559)

On 08/10/2009 at 3:10am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I took home my grandpa's ashes. I then went out with my grandma, leaving my 5-year-old at home with my 12-year-old. When I got home, my beaming 5-year-old opened the door, covered in white powder. My grandmother asked where all the powder had come from. She pointed to the empty ashbox. FML

#2980433
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43772) - you deserved it (16089)

On 06/17/2009 at 10:40pm - love - by fcnk (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my five year old daughter came up to me and asked, "Mom, why are we so poor?" I replied, in a sweet motherly tone "Honey, we're not poor." She then asked, "Then why do you dress like we are poor?" FML

#1997248
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43942) - you deserved it (7438)

On 05/16/2009 at 10:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, on my flight to Vegas, I was wishing that a really cute guy would come sit in the seat next to mine. A few minutes later, a really cute guy sat in the seat next to me and even started to talk to me. When I said, "I like rugged men." he said "Oh ya, me too! I really like buff guys also." FML

#831202
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63857) - you deserved it (11780)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:40am - love - by vela9002 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was out with my friend. My six year old daughter was also with us. While we were walking through the parking lot, my daughter asked me in a very loud voice "Mommy, does a blow job taste bad?" FML

#360907
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71613) - you deserved it (16564)

On 03/15/2009 at 10:18pm - intimacy - by hala (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I just finished having dinner with my boyfriend, so I leaned over to him and said seductively, "How about some dessert?" Obviously, he didn't catch my tone, because he then looked at me and said, "Babe, you really don't need it." FML

#274634
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66159) - you deserved it (8552)

On 03/11/2009 at 5:12pm - misc - by marshmallowssss (woman) - United States (Maryland)



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