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johnlockshipper

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johnlockshipper
  • Town/Country : Florida, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 8 January 1999 (15 years)
  • Number of visits : 275
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About johnlockshipper : I don't know why you clicked here but you can find me at wanderingwiththedoctor.tumblr.com or @Imthe14th on Twitter.

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johnlockshipper's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

42

You see, sonny boy, moderating FMLs is a bit like running a marathon.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of johnlockshipper's badges

johnlockshipper's favorite FMLs

Today, my mother decided to tell me about how my twin brother almost killed me in the womb when his cord wrapped around my neck. When she left the room, he said, "You won't be so lucky next time." FML

#21081555
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40965) - you deserved it (3836)

On 03/08/2014 at 6:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I ran into a friend I hadn't seen in a while, but I had heard she was pregnant. I rubbed her belly and asked when she was due. She slowly backed away, giving me a weird look and said, "Two months ago." FML

Today, trying to be a responsible parent, I bought my daughter a pack of condoms in case she ever decided to have sex. She turned them into balloon animals and went back to playing video games. FML

#21059009
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29678) - you deserved it (45263)

On 02/13/2014 at 10:47am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was sitting on the couch, watching The Avengers with my 4-year-old daughter, who loves the Hulk. When Hulk finally showed up, she excitedly looked at me and screamed, "Hulk Smash" before slamming both of her fists into my balls. FML

#21044971
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47277) - you deserved it (5526)

On 01/30/2014 at 7:34am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my friends and I went camping in the woods. I fell asleep first. Waking up hours later to them bunched up together in the middle of the tent and me half-way outside, I confronted them about it. They admitted, "We heard a bear so we needed a sacrifice." FML

#21020901
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46057) - you deserved it (4927)

On 01/07/2014 at 11:37pm - misc - by bear food - United States (California)

Today, I have to take time off from work to take part in an intervention because my sister's obsession with the guy from Harry Potter has crossed over into illegality. FML

#21009908
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37510) - you deserved it (2968)

On 12/29/2013 at 11:23pm - misc - by LeaveHimAlone (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I watched "Time of the Doctor" and I'm pretty sure my love of Doctor Who slithered out through my ear and shamefully lodged itself in the darkest corner of the room, crying. FML

#21005939
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29571) - you deserved it (7672)

On 12/26/2013 at 7:08am - love - by anon - Australia

Today, I walked in on my daughter lighting candles around one of her friends, who'd fallen asleep while her other friends chanted something in a different language. They still won't tell me what they were doing. FML

#21001182
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46022) - you deserved it (4519)

On 12/22/2013 at 10:36am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I let my sister hold my newborn daughter for the first time. I heard her mutter under her breath, "I could kill you so easily..." FML

Today, I heard my surgeon mutter to a nurse how easy it would be to kill me on the operating table and make it look like an accident. FML

#20940427
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44193) - you deserved it (2710)

On 10/31/2013 at 4:42pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Leicester)

Today, I was hitting on a girl, and I was sure I could get her to sleep with me. When she finally gave in and was putting her number into my phone, she called my mom and asked her if she raised me to "sexually harass women." FML

#20918730
325 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20590) - you deserved it (78106)

On 10/13/2013 at 10:38am - love - by not getting laid - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to babysit two kids. It all went well until one of them duct taped a knife to a toy machine gun, lit the barbecue on fire, and ran around like a wild banshee screaming obscenities. The other one got scared and climbed onto the roof of the house. FML

#20879220
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42568) - you deserved it (4677)

On 09/13/2013 at 1:55am - work - by ellen77 - United States (California)

Today, after having recently told my 4-year-old daughter that she won't grow big and tall if she doesn't eat her veggies, she decided to pass this wisdom on to a midget that we passed in the store. FML

#20877041
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54518) - you deserved it (8924)

On 09/11/2013 at 2:10pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my mom was sharing the story of how I was born with the umbilical cord around my neck. My sister added that it was God's first attempt to kill me off. FML

Today, a week after my dad discovered Family Guy and started mindlessly repeating catchphrases from it 24/7, I finally lost my temper and told him how incredibly annoying it is. He just paused, turned to look me in the eyes, and said, "Shut up, Meg." FML

#20870528
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48714) - you deserved it (17337)

On 09/06/2013 at 6:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



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