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johnlockshipper

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johnlockshipper

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 8 January 1999 (15 years)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 654
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About johnlockshipper : I don't know why you clicked here but you can find me at wanderingwiththedoctor.tumblr.com or @Imthe14th on Twitter.

johnlockshipper's page activity

Visits<b>mattc99</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 7:39am<b>Rebekahxxx</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 9:36am<b>esemexicano</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 6:49pm<b>rybaby23</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 12:24am<b>tshurtz722</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 2:27pm<b>totallylosing</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 5:08pm<b>Trollx</b> - the 02/12/2014 at 11:58am<b>bobslawnservice</b> - the 02/03/2014 at 11:47pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 2:06pm<b>tadienae</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 10:14am<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 01/20/2014 at 6:17am<b>LordDoodle</b> - the 01/19/2014 at 9:49pm<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 01/15/2014 at 11:56am<b>lisaint</b> - the 01/05/2014 at 5:30pm<b>HVAkicker99</b> - the 12/09/2013 at 10:37pm<b>courtz94</b> - the 12/01/2013 at 10:53am<b>daniel546</b> - the 11/27/2013 at 5:05am

johnlockshipper's FML badges

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I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of johnlockshipper's badges

johnlockshipper's favorite FMLs

Today, I got high for the first time. Apparently I called my vet and told him my goldfish was barking. I found out when he called me back later to make sure we were both okay. FML

#21258033
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27004) - you deserved it (15546)

On 09/14/2014 at 12:38pm - animals - by Anonymous - Ghana (Greater Accra)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She just grabbed the ring and said in a raspy voice, "My precious..." FML

#21250558
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40266) - you deserved it (7694)

On 09/02/2014 at 2:58pm - love - by anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I asked my girlfriend to talk dirty to me. Her response was to impersonate a saxophone. FML

#21250455
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31568) - you deserved it (7403)

On 09/02/2014 at 11:32am - intimacy - by ihatejasonderulo - United Kingdom (Hounslow)

Today, I wore a sexy nurse's outfit for a little roleplay with my boyfriend. After the main event, he said the sex was actually pretty bad and that he should file a medical malpractice lawsuit. Then he laughed at his own joke, got dressed, and went out for drinks. FML

#21245913
80 comments

Today, I attended a family gathering. My cousin's new baby was being passed around. By way of politely declining to hold it, I meant to say that I looked forward to getting to know it better once it could talk. What I blurted out instead was, "I can't wait until it resembles a human being." FML

Today, I realized that my dog, who's 11, eats his own shit, and chews bones like crazy still has 10 times nicer teeth than I do. FML

#21232602
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31515) - you deserved it (7346)

On 08/08/2014 at 3:34pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my fiancé said "Rachel" instead of my name when asked to repeat, "I take thee, Emily, to be my lawfully wedded wife." I was shocked, so he explained while laughing that he doesn't even know a Rachel. He ruined our wedding for a Friends quote. FML

Today, my son said his first word. Unfortunately, that word was "cock." I've tried convincing myself that he's trying to say "clock" but I just can't do it. FML

#21225778
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38643) - you deserved it (6703)

On 07/31/2014 at 12:24pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was carrying my four-month-old son in a checkout line. An older couple behind us remarked that I would spoil my son if I carried him everywhere. My son responded by projectile vomiting all over the wife, then looked at me and giggled. FML

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house, intending to break up with him. Instead, I was greeted by his whole family throwing me a surprise party. I had to sit and listen to his whole family talk about what a great couple we are and how we're going to last forever. FML

#21215195
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52817) - you deserved it (8141)

On 07/20/2014 at 1:59pm - love - by I Feel Horrible - United States (California)

Today, I was watching adult videos in my apartment. I'm deaf, so I didn't realize my volume was at full blast until I put my hand over the speaker. FML

#21206881
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54995) - you deserved it (10907)

On 07/12/2014 at 10:00am - intimacy - by weeping_angel_ - United States (New York)

Today, on the bus, a little boy gave me the dirtiest look, pointed at my pregnant stomach, and menacingly said, "I know what you did." FML

#21205823
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50545) - you deserved it (6621)

On 07/11/2014 at 7:03am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went on a date with the girl I like, to see The Fault In Our Stars. She didn't cry, but I did. Twice, hard. FML

#21187944
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46700) - you deserved it (12173)

On 06/25/2014 at 1:45pm - love - by fredfredburger (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I started going on and on about dogs and their different types of breed, behaviours, expectancy, etc. When someone asked me how I know all this stuff, I meant to say, "I fucking love animals", I didn't think it through and said, "I love fucking animals". FML

#21131182
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (278) - you deserved it (18664)

On 05/05/2014 at 3:53am - intimacy - by Zekrome - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while I was making dinner, my husband argued that our new dog has intelligence issues, and we should give him away. I angrily defended the poor thing, and had almost won, until the dog walked over and licked the inside of the hot oven door. FML

#21126864
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42354) - you deserved it (5544)

On 04/30/2014 at 1:17am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)



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