Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

johnlockshipper

Online | Search for a member

johnlockshipper

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 8 January 1999 (15 years)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 631
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About johnlockshipper : I don't know why you clicked here but you can find me at wanderingwiththedoctor.tumblr.com or @Imthe14th on Twitter.

johnlockshipper's page activity

Visits<b>mattc99</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 7:39am<b>Rebekahxxx</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 9:36am<b>esemexicano</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 6:49pm<b>rybaby23</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 12:24am<b>tshurtz722</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 2:27pm<b>totallylosing</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 5:08pm<b>Trollx</b> - the 02/12/2014 at 11:58am<b>bobslawnservice</b> - the 02/03/2014 at 11:47pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 2:06pm<b>tadienae</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 10:14am<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 01/20/2014 at 6:17am<b>LordDoodle</b> - the 01/19/2014 at 9:49pm<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 01/15/2014 at 11:56am<b>lisaint</b> - the 01/05/2014 at 5:30pm<b>HVAkicker99</b> - the 12/09/2013 at 10:37pm<b>courtz94</b> - the 12/01/2013 at 10:53am<b>daniel546</b> - the 11/27/2013 at 5:05am

johnlockshipper's FML badges

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of johnlockshipper's badges

johnlockshipper's favorite FMLs

Today, my hamster got loose from his cage. His name was Houdini. FML

#21249788
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15329) - you deserved it (3955)

On 09/01/2014 at 2:55pm - animals - by Houdini - United States (Texas)

Today, I wore a sexy nurse's outfit for a little roleplay with my boyfriend. After the main event, he said the sex was actually pretty bad and that he should file a medical malpractice lawsuit. Then he laughed at his own joke, got dressed, and went out for drinks. FML

#21245913
79 comments

Today, I attended a family gathering. My cousin's new baby was being passed around. By way of politely declining to hold it, I meant to say that I looked forward to getting to know it better once it could talk. What I blurted out instead was, "I can't wait until it resembles a human being." FML

Today, I realized that my dog, who's 11, eats his own shit, and chews bones like crazy still has 10 times nicer teeth than I do. FML

#21232602
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31463) - you deserved it (7337)

On 08/08/2014 at 3:34pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my fiancé said "Rachel" instead of my name when asked to repeat, "I take thee, Emily, to be my lawfully wedded wife." I was shocked, so he explained while laughing that he doesn't even know a Rachel. He ruined our wedding for a Friends quote. FML

Today, my son said his first word. Unfortunately, that word was "cock." I've tried convincing myself that he's trying to say "clock" but I just can't do it. FML

#21225778
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38597) - you deserved it (6695)

On 07/31/2014 at 12:24pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was carrying my four-month-old son in a checkout line. An older couple behind us remarked that I would spoil my son if I carried him everywhere. My son responded by projectile vomiting all over the wife, then looked at me and giggled. FML

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house, intending to break up with him. Instead, I was greeted by his whole family throwing me a surprise party. I had to sit and listen to his whole family talk about what a great couple we are and how we're going to last forever. FML

#21215195
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52776) - you deserved it (8137)

On 07/20/2014 at 1:59pm - love - by I Feel Horrible - United States (California)

Today, I was watching adult videos in my apartment. I'm deaf, so I didn't realize my volume was at full blast until I put my hand over the speaker. FML

#21206881
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54741) - you deserved it (10880)

On 07/12/2014 at 10:00am - intimacy - by weeping_angel_ - United States (New York)

Today, on the bus, a little boy gave me the dirtiest look, pointed at my pregnant stomach, and menacingly said, "I know what you did." FML

#21205823
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50491) - you deserved it (6616)

On 07/11/2014 at 7:03am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went on a date with the girl I like, to see The Fault In Our Stars. She didn't cry, but I did. Twice, hard. FML

#21187944
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46678) - you deserved it (12170)

On 06/25/2014 at 1:45pm - love - by fredfredburger (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I started going on and on about dogs and their different types of breed, behaviours, expectancy, etc. When someone asked me how I know all this stuff, I meant to say, "I fucking love animals", I didn't think it through and said, "I love fucking animals". FML

#21131182
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (246) - you deserved it (18556)

On 05/05/2014 at 3:53am - intimacy - by Zekrome - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while I was making dinner, my husband argued that our new dog has intelligence issues, and we should give him away. I angrily defended the poor thing, and had almost won, until the dog walked over and licked the inside of the hot oven door. FML

#21126864
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42338) - you deserved it (5543)

On 04/30/2014 at 1:17am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my mother decided to tell me about how my twin brother almost killed me in the womb when his cord wrapped around my neck. When she left the room, he said, "You won't be so lucky next time." FML

#21081555
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42453) - you deserved it (4260)

On 03/08/2014 at 6:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my sister found out that Justin Bieber got arrested and now she won't stop crying. 5ML

#21037837
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43047) - you deserved it (5106)

On 01/24/2014 at 12:28am - misc - by Estee1024 - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • FML's Labor Day BBQ
  • The first Monday of September is a holiday in some countries, and is supposed to celebrate Labor Day. So, this means you do nothing to celebrate doing something. I'm confused.  For those of us who…

Monday 1 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: