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johnlockshipper

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johnlockshipper

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 8 January 1999 (16 years)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 992
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About johnlockshipper : ✖I swear it will get easier✖

johnlockshipper's page activity

Visits<b>_kyleG_</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 3:00pm<b>Drag0nb0rn</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 1:14am<b>inowhtthefoxsays</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 8:24am<b>LordDoodle</b> - the 11/27/2014 at 3:26pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 3:15pm<b>arcticmonkeys28</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 1:51am<b>wang33334</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 5:51am<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 5:44am<b>timotay89</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 5:52am<b>toasty_narwals</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 8:52pm<b>JoshTheTacoMan</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 11:09pm<b>mattc99</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 7:39am<b>Rebekahxxx</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 9:36am<b>esemexicano</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 6:49pm<b>rybaby23</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 12:24am<b>tshurtz722</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 2:27pm<b>totallylosing</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 5:08pm<b>Trollx</b> - the 02/12/2014 at 11:58am

johnlockshipper's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of johnlockshipper's badges

johnlockshipper's favorite FMLs

Today, my boss told me she had a nightmare where her life depended on me, and I let her die. Now I'm ridiculously paranoid that I'm going to get fired at any second. FML

#21333682
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26764) - you deserved it (2162)

On 01/08/2015 at 11:40pm - work - by notahero (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mom got me a Christmas present. Since I'm a whovian, she thought it would be cool to get me what she thought was a sonic screwdriver. It was actually a dildo shaped as one. I opened the gift in front of my entire family. FML

#21323893
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32582) - you deserved it (3442)

On 12/25/2014 at 10:17am - intimacy - by whovian - United States (Maine)

Today, I walked in on my little brother making a Devil's trap so he could capture the demon he thinks is possessing my hamster. FML

#21287735
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32320) - you deserved it (3412)

On 10/29/2014 at 3:39pm - kids - by lexigan4 (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my little sister had her second son. She is 31 and she named her sons after her favorite television characters, Sam and Dean Winchester. She has made it her life goal to make sure her husband never finds out. FML

#21269654
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30166) - you deserved it (3829)

On 10/02/2014 at 4:29pm - kids - by mykodu - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I can't go on watching season 8 of The Big Bang Theory, not because of the steady decline of the show's quality, but because I can't stand Penny's new haircut. FML

#21263705
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28947) - you deserved it (17228)

On 09/23/2014 at 8:48am - misc - by shelookslikemiley - Australia

Today, I got high for the first time. Apparently I called my vet and told him my goldfish was barking. I found out when he called me back later to make sure we were both okay. FML

#21258033
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31728) - you deserved it (18250)

On 09/14/2014 at 12:38pm - animals - by Anonymous - Ghana (Greater Accra)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She just grabbed the ring and said in a raspy voice, "My precious..." FML

#21250558
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43222) - you deserved it (8704)

On 09/02/2014 at 2:58pm - love - by anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I asked my girlfriend to talk dirty to me. Her response was to impersonate a saxophone. FML

#21250455
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33519) - you deserved it (7687)

On 09/02/2014 at 11:32am - intimacy - by ihatejasonderulo - United Kingdom (Hounslow)

Today, I wore a sexy nurse's outfit for a little roleplay with my boyfriend. After the main event, he said the sex was actually pretty bad and that he should file a medical malpractice lawsuit. Then he laughed at his own joke, got dressed, and went out for drinks. FML

#21245913
80 comments

Today, I attended a family gathering. My cousin's new baby was being passed around. By way of politely declining to hold it, I meant to say that I looked forward to getting to know it better once it could talk. What I blurted out instead was, "I can't wait until it resembles a human being." FML

Today, I realized that my dog, who's 11, eats his own shit, and chews bones like crazy still has 10 times nicer teeth than I do. FML

#21232602
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32790) - you deserved it (7653)

On 08/08/2014 at 3:34pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my fiancé said "Rachel" instead of my name when asked to repeat, "I take thee, Emily, to be my lawfully wedded wife." I was shocked, so he explained while laughing that he doesn't even know a Rachel. He ruined our wedding for a Friends quote. FML

Today, my son said his first word. Unfortunately, that word was "cock." I've tried convincing myself that he's trying to say "clock" but I just can't do it. FML

#21225778
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40192) - you deserved it (7206)

On 07/31/2014 at 12:24pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was carrying my four-month-old son in a checkout line. An older couple behind us remarked that I would spoil my son if I carried him everywhere. My son responded by projectile vomiting all over the wife, then looked at me and giggled. FML

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house, intending to break up with him. Instead, I was greeted by his whole family throwing me a surprise party. I had to sit and listen to his whole family talk about what a great couple we are and how we're going to last forever. FML

#21215195
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54517) - you deserved it (8785)

On 07/20/2014 at 1:59pm - love - by I Feel Horrible - United States (California)



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