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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 8 January 1999 (16 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1213
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About johnlockshipper : There's a room in a hotel in New York City that shares our fate and deserves our pity.

Jillian w/ a 'G' // 16 // I'm cute as hell which is incidentally where I'm from.

johnlockshipper's page activity

Visits<b>thomasrasmussen7</b> - yesterday at 12:04am<b>GrinchFu1</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 6:59pm<b>m_warner1</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 7:37am<b>khoov19</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 6:11pm<b>RA91</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 5:15pm<b>missa8604</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 4:21pm<b>munzapoppa</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 10:40am<b>Mons</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 6:11am<b>fuckobamaintheas</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 10:56pm<b>knightofdarkness</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 8:48pm<b>imkool136</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 6:11am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 3:57pm<b>SweetIam</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 2:13am<b>andy594328</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 11:43pm<b>DA_JUDGE123</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 3:17pm<b>Ethological</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 10:47pm<b>horseh</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 1:06pm<b>jazzybrar</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 2:36pm

Fucked!<b>RA91</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 11:15pm<b>andy594328</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 2:03am<b>NozomiTojo</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 1:03am<b>knightofdarkness</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 8:59am<b>Sethan01</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 9:28pm

johnlockshipper's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!


You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of johnlockshipper's badges

johnlockshipper's favorite FMLs

Today, I caught my teenage daughter doing her laundry for the first time ever. She had piles of black and white, but then she threw them together in the washing machine. I told her blacks and whites were supposed to be separate, but she just said, "End the segregation, mom." FML


I agree, your life sucks (29474) - you deserved it (5030)

On 04/12/2015 at 4:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, a coworker told my manager that I and another girl were plotting to get her fired at the end of the month. She actually believed her. Now we're suspended without pay for two weeks for conspiracy. FML


I agree, your life sucks (25) - you deserved it (2105)

On 03/05/2015 at 12:10pm - work - by Completely Innocent - United States

Today, a cute girl was telling me about her weird fetishes. I jokingly said, "Remind me never to have sex with you". She replied, "Don't worry, I have standards". FML


I agree, your life sucks (26722) - you deserved it (17855)

On 02/10/2015 at 9:51am - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, my boss told me she had a nightmare where her life depended on me, and I let her die. Now I'm ridiculously paranoid that I'm going to get fired at any second. FML


I agree, your life sucks (26895) - you deserved it (2166)

On 01/08/2015 at 11:40pm - work - by notahero (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mom got me a Christmas present. Since I'm a whovian, she thought it would be cool to get me what she thought was a sonic screwdriver. It was actually a dildo shaped as one. I opened the gift in front of my entire family. FML


I agree, your life sucks (33424) - you deserved it (3471)

On 12/25/2014 at 10:17am - intimacy - by whovian - United States (Maine)

Today, I walked in on my little brother making a Devil's trap so he could capture the demon he thinks is possessing my hamster. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32455) - you deserved it (3420)

On 10/29/2014 at 3:39pm - kids - by lexigan4 (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my little sister had her second son. She is 31 and she named her sons after her favorite television characters, Sam and Dean Winchester. She has made it her life goal to make sure her husband never finds out. FML


I agree, your life sucks (30278) - you deserved it (3838)

On 10/02/2014 at 4:29pm - kids - by mykodu - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I can't go on watching season 8 of The Big Bang Theory, not because of the steady decline of the show's quality, but because I can't stand Penny's new haircut. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29023) - you deserved it (17277)

On 09/23/2014 at 8:48am - misc - by shelookslikemiley - Australia

Today, I got high for the first time. Apparently I called my vet and told him my goldfish was barking. I found out when he called me back later to make sure we were both okay. FML


I agree, your life sucks (31832) - you deserved it (18287)

On 09/14/2014 at 12:38pm - animals - by Anonymous - Ghana (Greater Accra)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She just grabbed the ring and said in a raspy voice, "My precious..." FML


I agree, your life sucks (43309) - you deserved it (8728)

On 09/02/2014 at 2:58pm - love - by anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I asked my girlfriend to talk dirty to me. Her response was to impersonate a saxophone. FML


I agree, your life sucks (36229) - you deserved it (9050)

On 09/02/2014 at 11:32am - intimacy - by ihatejasonderulo - United Kingdom (Hounslow)

Today, I wore a sexy nurse's outfit for a little roleplay with my boyfriend. After the main event, he said the sex was actually pretty bad and that he should file a medical malpractice lawsuit. Then he laughed at his own joke, got dressed, and went out for drinks. FML


Today, I attended a family gathering. My cousin's new baby was being passed around. By way of politely declining to hold it, I meant to say that I looked forward to getting to know it better once it could talk. What I blurted out instead was, "I can't wait until it resembles a human being." FML

Today, I realized that my dog, who's 11, eats his own shit, and chews bones like crazy still has 10 times nicer teeth than I do. FML


I agree, your life sucks (33560) - you deserved it (7817)

On 08/08/2014 at 3:34pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my fiancé said "Rachel" instead of my name when asked to repeat, "I take thee, Emily, to be my lawfully wedded wife." I was shocked, so he explained while laughing that he doesn't even know a Rachel. He ruined our wedding for a Friends quote. FML

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