Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

johnlockshipper

Offline (the 07/07/2014 at 9:30pm) | Search for a member

johnlockshipper

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 8 January 1999 (15 years)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 581
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About johnlockshipper : I don't know why you clicked here but you can find me at wanderingwiththedoctor.tumblr.com or @Imthe14th on Twitter.

johnlockshipper's page activity

Visits<b>Rebekahxxx</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 9:36am<b>esemexicano</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 6:49pm<b>rybaby23</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 12:24am<b>tshurtz722</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 2:27pm<b>totallylosing</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 5:08pm<b>Trollx</b> - the 02/12/2014 at 11:58am<b>bobslawnservice</b> - the 02/03/2014 at 11:47pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 2:06pm<b>tadienae</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 10:14am<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 01/20/2014 at 6:17am<b>LordDoodle</b> - the 01/19/2014 at 9:49pm<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 01/15/2014 at 11:56am<b>lisaint</b> - the 01/05/2014 at 5:30pm<b>HVAkicker99</b> - the 12/09/2013 at 10:37pm<b>courtz94</b> - the 12/01/2013 at 10:53am<b>daniel546</b> - the 11/27/2013 at 5:05am

johnlockshipper's FML badges

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of johnlockshipper's badges

johnlockshipper's favorite FMLs

Today, my son said his first word. Unfortunately, that word was "cock." I've tried convincing myself that he's trying to say "clock" but I just can't do it. FML

#21225778
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21346) - you deserved it (3601)

On 07/31/2014 at 12:24pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was carrying my four-month-old son in a checkout line. An older couple behind us remarked that I would spoil my son if I carried him everywhere. My son responded by projectile vomiting all over the wife, then looked at me and giggled. FML

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house, intending to break up with him. Instead, I was greeted by his whole family throwing me a surprise party. I had to sit and listen to his whole family talk about what a great couple we are and how we're going to last forever. FML

#21215195
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51160) - you deserved it (8057)

On 07/20/2014 at 1:59pm - love - by I Feel Horrible - United States (California)

Today, I was watching adult videos in my apartment. I'm deaf, so I didn't realize my volume was at full blast until I put my hand over the speaker. FML

#21206881
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52244) - you deserved it (10588)

On 07/12/2014 at 10:00am - intimacy - by weeping_angel_ - United States (New York)

Today, on the bus, a little boy gave me the dirtiest look, pointed at my pregnant stomach, and menacingly said, "I know what you did." FML

#21205823
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49887) - you deserved it (6581)

On 07/11/2014 at 7:03am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went on a date with the girl I like, to see The Fault In Our Stars. She didn't cry, but I did. Twice, hard. FML

#21187944
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46491) - you deserved it (12125)

On 06/25/2014 at 1:45pm - love - by fredfredburger (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I started going on and on about dogs and their different types of breed, behaviours, expectancy, etc. When someone asked me how I know all this stuff, I meant to say, "I fucking love animals", I didn't think it through and said, "I love fucking animals". FML

#21131182
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (85) - you deserved it (18043)

On 05/05/2014 at 3:53am - intimacy - by Zekrome - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mother decided to tell me about how my twin brother almost killed me in the womb when his cord wrapped around my neck. When she left the room, he said, "You won't be so lucky next time." FML

#21081555
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42436) - you deserved it (4257)

On 03/08/2014 at 6:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my sister found out that Justin Bieber got arrested and now she won't stop crying. 5ML

#21037837
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43023) - you deserved it (5104)

On 01/24/2014 at 12:28am - misc - by Estee1024 - United States (California)

Today, marks my fifth day being an English teacher's assistant. I spent it like the other four days: grading and editing terrible Teen Wolf, One Direction and Doctor Who high school fan-fiction. Six months until I get out of here. FML

#20987358
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37852) - you deserved it (5711)

On 12/10/2013 at 2:38am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, a girl and I were flirting and it was going well. Feeling bold, I asked what she would do if I kissed her. She smiled flirtatiously and said "Why don't you try it and find out?" I went in for a kiss, and she slapped me. FML

#20965644
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55772) - you deserved it (12461)

On 11/21/2013 at 11:10am - misc - by smooth (man) - United States

Today, I was hitting on a girl, and I was sure I could get her to sleep with me. When she finally gave in and was putting her number into my phone, she called my mom and asked her if she raised me to "sexually harass women." FML

#20918730
320 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21388) - you deserved it (80634)

On 10/13/2013 at 10:38am - love - by not getting laid - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I went to one of the United States Mints since he enjoys coins. He looked at the money and seriously said, "I have such a hard on". He did. FML

#20905869
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44933) - you deserved it (4686)

On 10/03/2013 at 11:38am - intimacy - by EconM - United States

Today, I told a guy he should be ashamed of himself for parking in a handicapped space. He hit me with his prosthetic leg. FML

#20875582
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17027) - you deserved it (85893)

On 09/10/2013 at 9:23am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my mom was sharing the story of how I was born with the umbilical cord around my neck. My sister added that it was God's first attempt to kill me off. FML



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: