Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

johngarber24

Search for a member

johngarber24

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 329
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

johngarber24's page activity

Visits<b>MrRicko500</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 8:15pm

johngarber24's FML badges

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

johngarber24's favorite FMLs

Today, I came home to find my eight-year-old son had basically set fire to the kitchen, after trying to practice some kind of stupid shit he'd seen on TV called "fire bending." FML

#20083631
356 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20830) - you deserved it (8820)

On 09/22/2012 at 2:11pm - kids - by SadDad (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I sneezed so violently that my tampon came out. FML

#17227905
366 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62177) - you deserved it (7311)

On 07/23/2011 at 9:06am - intimacy - by Sarah - United States

Today, I found out my boyfriend has checked every girl he has ever slept with for 'vagina teeth'. I'm apparently no exception. FML

#17184971
380 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35599) - you deserved it (5245)

On 07/20/2011 at 12:40am - intimacy - by knolan - United States

Today, Twilight once again won all the awards at MTV, beating out Inception, Toy Story 3, Harry Potter, etc. This is MY generation. FML

#16524791
575 comments

I agree, your life sucks (95535) - you deserved it (10481)

On 06/06/2011 at 2:27am - misc - by KillMeNow (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I sneezed with so much force while I was driving that I whacked my head on the steering wheel and honked the horn. FML

#7268268
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23031) - you deserved it (3976)

On 01/10/2010 at 10:37pm - misc - by Hayley (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I got an email. It said "Everyone hates you. We voted." FML

#6566418
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34041) - you deserved it (5116)

On 12/02/2009 at 10:26am - misc - by JustAnotherTina (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I discovered that I don't have Herpes or Genital warts. I have acne on my penis. FML

#5082348
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58202) - you deserved it (8666)

On 09/06/2009 at 2:19pm - health - by Curt (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend humping my stuffed rabbit. I thought he was trying to be funny until I saw that he had an erection. FML

#4570183
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59459) - you deserved it (4427)

On 08/16/2009 at 9:58am - intimacy - by bunny (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was at walmart when my stomach began to hurt. I quickly waddled to the restroom in pain. As soon as I got in the stall, a huge crap exploded out of me. The child in the stall next to me started crying. When her mom asked what was wrong she said that I'd "killed her nose". FML

#3361418
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55780) - you deserved it (8567)

On 06/30/2009 at 7:53am - health - by poopshooter101 (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML

#2532710
1165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82302) - you deserved it (218922)

On 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm - animals - by fmlfmlfml (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was eating cereal and decided to warm it up to see what it tasted like. So, using a candle in the room I placed my spoon over the flame and waited to see if it heated up. Pleased with my silly experiment, I put the spoon back in my mouth. I now can't talk because of my swollen tongue. FML

#1416648
365 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21423) - you deserved it (225955)

On 04/28/2009 at 7:16am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML

#503348
872 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58576) - you deserved it (622078)

On 03/21/2009 at 12:46am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)



FML's blog

  • FML's Labor Day BBQ
  • The first Monday of September is a holiday in some countries, and is supposed to celebrate Labor Day. So, this means you do nothing to celebrate doing something. I'm confused.  For those of us who…

Monday 1 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: