johngarber24

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johngarber24

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  • Number of visits : 607
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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johngarber24's page activity

Visits<b>liammarkowitz</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 2:04pm<b>MrRicko500</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 8:15pm

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johngarber24's favorite FMLs

Today, I came home to find my eight-year-old son had basically set fire to the kitchen, after trying to practice some kind of stupid shit he'd seen on TV called "fire bending." FML

by SadDad / 09/22/2012 at 2:11pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids

Today, I found out my boyfriend has checked every girl he has ever slept with for 'vagina teeth'. I'm apparently no exception. FML

by knolan / 07/20/2011 at 12:40am / United States / Intimacy

Today, Twilight once again won all the awards at MTV, beating out Inception, Toy Story 3, Harry Potter, etc. This is MY generation. FML

by KillMeNow / 06/06/2011 at 2:27am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I sneezed with so much force while I was driving that I whacked my head on the steering wheel and honked the horn. FML

by Hayley / 01/10/2010 at 10:37pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got an email. It said "Everyone hates you. We voted." FML

by JustAnotherTina / 12/02/2009 at 10:26am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered that I don't have Herpes or Genital warts. I have acne on my penis. FML

by Curt / 09/06/2009 at 2:19pm / United States (Missouri) / Health

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend humping my stuffed rabbit. I thought he was trying to be funny until I saw that he had an erection. FML

by bunny / 08/16/2009 at 9:58am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, I was at walmart when my stomach began to hurt. I quickly waddled to the restroom in pain. As soon as I got in the stall, a huge crap exploded out of me. The child in the stall next to me started crying. When her mom asked what was wrong she said that I'd "killed her nose". FML

by poopshooter101 / 06/30/2009 at 7:53am / United States (Georgia) / Health

Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML

by fmlfmlfml / 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I was eating cereal and decided to warm it up to see what it tasted like. So, using a candle in the room I placed my spoon over the flame and waited to see if it heated up. Pleased with my silly experiment, I put the spoon back in my mouth. I now can't talk because of my swollen tongue. FML

by Anonymous / 04/28/2009 at 7:16am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous

Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML

by Anonymous / 03/21/2009 at 12:46am / United States (Florida) / Kids