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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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johncow123

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johncow123
  • Town/Country : Us
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 9 March 1995 (16 years)
  • Number of visits : 257
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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johncow123's favorite FMLs

Today, there was a fire drill at my school. I was in the bathroom taking a dump, and if that wasn't bad enough, I got suspended for two days for 'improper procedure during a fire drill'. I didn't know you could get suspended for taking a dump. FML

#12424565 (139)

I agree, your life sucks (27961) - you deserved it (2689)

On 08/10/2010 at 1:19am - misc - by dammit (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I found a pile of animal skeletons scattered in my backyard. It appears that last night, mother nature decided to rain so hard, that the graves of my childhood pets floated back up to the top, and covered half of my field. I now have to pick all of it up before my dog sees them. FML

#12396014 (147)

I agree, your life sucks (24941) - you deserved it (2269)

On 08/08/2010 at 7:27pm - animals - by L.Lime05 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, in a sporting goods store, my mom walked over to the other side of the store, when a cute guy came over to talk to me. When she saw this she grabbed a bat, walked over to us and said "If you ever even look at my daughter again, I will beat you shitless." She was serious. He ran. FML

#8354648 (234)

I agree, your life sucks (21383) - you deserved it (1364)

On 02/16/2010 at 9:54pm - misc - by batter--up (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I opened the freezer for some Poptarts and a giant block of meat fell and broke my toe. FML

#8248979 (254)

I agree, your life sucks (16254) - you deserved it (4163)

On 02/14/2010 at 1:05pm - misc - by freakingow (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was lying in bed throwing a football in the air and catching it. I missed a catch, and the ball hit me between the legs. I shoved my hands down my pants because it hurt, just as my step-dad walked into the room and saw me holding my crotch and moaning. FML

#7548356 (171)

I agree, your life sucks (22205) - you deserved it (6184)

On 01/24/2010 at 5:24pm - misc - by Blah (man) - United States

Today, as I showered, I sneezed, hit my face on the wall, got shampoo in my eyes, slipped on a bar of soap, bashed my head on the wall as I fell, grabbed at the walls to stop me from falling and happened to turn off the cold water, scorching me. FML

#7391699 (210)

I agree, your life sucks (35941) - you deserved it (3949)

On 01/17/2010 at 1:22am - health - by Concussed (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was stuck on the toilet with a huge stomachache after eating bad food the day before. I got up to flush when I noticed that there was a cockroach struggling feebly in the pile of crap. I'll never know if it got there before or after I crapped. FML

#7379683 (143)

I agree, your life sucks (25678) - you deserved it (2302)

On 01/16/2010 at 3:19pm - health - by dire-rear (woman) - Singapore

Today, I slipped on a patch of ice and fell. I would have fallen straight onto my ass, but thankfully my testicles broke my fall. FML

#7143279 (142)

I agree, your life sucks (28646) - you deserved it (1892)

On 01/04/2010 at 8:34am - health - by Soresack (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, while at the Golden Gate Bridge, I spotted a large group of Asians trying to take a picture. Trying to be a diplomat, I slowly say "You... want me... take picture?" while using hand motions. The man looks at me and says "No thanks asshole, I got it," in plain English. FML

#618013 (863)

I agree, your life sucks (43452) - you deserved it (361065)

On 03/26/2009 at 3:19am - misc - by Tourist (man) - United States (California)