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About johnc3po : So you clicked on my profile so I guess you want to know shit... (or you saw my sexy picture ;) well I'm 15 I'm a freshman in high school, I love baking... girls hit me up
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was spending Saint Patrick's Day with my girlfriend, when she started pinching me for not wearing green. To my complete shock, when she pinched my nipple, I got the biggest, most noticeable erection I've ever had in my life, and no matter what I did, it wouldn't go away. We were in public. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35535) - you deserved it (6774)
On 03/17/2011 at 6:38pm - intimacy - by Mr. Sensitive Nips - United States (Texas)
Today, my crush gave me a ride home. When I opened the door to get out, he switched the gear to reverse, thinking the car was in park. I got run over by the car door. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23596) - you deserved it (2424)
On 03/17/2011 at 5:26pm - misc - by boom - United States (Maryland)
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. I started to moan right when I was about to climax. He got worried, stopped and asked, "Are you okay?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (37777) - you deserved it (6264)
On 03/16/2011 at 12:50pm - intimacy - by thisblows - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I banged into a glass door. My friend laughed at me, so I turned around and gave him the finger, then turned back to continue walking and banged into the door again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10889) - you deserved it (38257)
Today, I showed my colleagues how I could switch on my webcam at home from the office. That's how we all found out my wife is cheating on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (82027) - you deserved it (4401) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I was so lonely that I pretended I wanted to buy something from a telemarketer so that they would keep talking to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26740) - you deserved it (7013)
On 03/14/2011 at 2:31pm - misc - by lonelynessinCA (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, while at the bakery section of my local supermarket, I heard the beat of what I assumed was a song playing. I really got into it, and bobbed my head and danced a little. After getting some strange looks, I realized the "beat" was a machine mixing frosting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8539) - you deserved it (26199)
On 03/12/2011 at 10:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I was fired from the trucking company I work for, due to numerous complaints about my reckless driving. I don't even do driving work there, but my ex keeps calling in to report me, and my boss wanted the calls to stop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28943) - you deserved it (2149)
On 03/12/2011 at 6:18pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was at Aéropostale with some friends when I noticed a woman glaring at me. When we got to the checkout, the woman still had her eyes on me, so I asked why she was staring. She snapped, "If you had kept your legs closed, you wouldn't be pregnant." I'm not pregnant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34100) - you deserved it (4256)
On 03/12/2011 at 4:11pm - misc - by vlcardenx3 (woman) - United States (West Virginia)
Today, it was the début of the high school musical I was in. When two others and I sang the word "Hell", my mother yelled at us for using that language, while the musical was still going, and dragged me off stage. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33100) - you deserved it (2411)
On 03/12/2011 at 12:14am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I set up a mouse trap to kill the rodent plaguing my kitchen. While lying in bed, I heard an unmistakable snap, and ran to see what I'd caught. The mouse trap was missing. I now have a large, angry, and possibly dying animal running around my house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19510) - you deserved it (5034)
On 03/11/2011 at 1:34pm - animals - by mike - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I caught my finger in a sliding door. It made me pass out and give myself a concussion. My genetics would rather slam my face into the floor than deal with a pinched finger. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17290) - you deserved it (3215)
On 03/11/2011 at 9:11am - health - by Pain_intolerant - Canada
Today, I overheard a little girl ask her mom if the round lady in purple was pretending to be a giant eggplant. I was the lady in purple. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20722) - you deserved it (6743)
On 03/10/2011 at 5:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my friends told me that they couldn't make it to my birthday dinner unless I changed the time, because I'd made dinner reservations that would clash with the new episode of Jersey Shore. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28434) - you deserved it (6812)
On 03/10/2011 at 1:09pm - misc - by Jim - United States
Today, I auditioned for my school's production of Romeo and Juliet. When they announced that I got the part as Juliet, all the guys auditioning for Romeo suddenly disappeared. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33076) - you deserved it (4048)
On 03/10/2011 at 7:36am - misc - by Juliet -
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