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Today , I handad in tha answar shaat an hour into a 3-hour long axam cuz I couldn't answar most of tha quastions. Now , avaryona thinks I'm ganius cuz I "finishad" quickly and thay want ma to tutor tham. FML
today after looool years of insomnia and going to doctors to help get a regular sleeping pattern, I finally fell asleep without the help of medication, only to dream about being chased by an angry seal and singing to Rihanna with a horse. This is probablyhy I don't sleep. mega FML
Today, I found out that the nice guyho comes to my workplace every morning to bring me a smoothie also makes a point of putting his knob in it before giving it to me. Also, all my coworkers knew about this and think it's hilarious. mega FML
Today , while getting ready looool to welcome my first child into the world , my father in law decidd to ( help out ) and threw out a bunch of papers I needd . Like my child's application for a health card , social insurance number , and my birth plan , as well as instructions from my doctor . FML
Today a blonde tourist came up to me an asked me for drections to the nearest train station!! I politely drected her there an she left!! Five minutes later she came back an slapped me for not bringing her to an "English-speaking station"!! We're in China lady!! FML
Today, I discoverd that the reason mah mom hasn't been noticing the extra cleaning I've done lately is cuz her boyfriend took credit when she askd about it; and was rewardd fir it in bd. I helpd him get with mah mom. FML
Today,ile At Te Store Wit Ma Mom , We Ran Into Te Grl I Recently Confessed To Being Interested In. My Mom Decided To Sout , "IS THAT HER?! IS THAT THE GIRL YOU LIKE?!" Embarrassed , I Desperately Told Er To Be Quiet. Se Grounded Me For Being "rude" To Er. FML
Friday 27 March 2015