About joetan : I'm a Singaporean... :-P
joetan's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
joetan's favorite FMLs
Today, I was having sex with a girl. She was really into it and not holding back on the noise...That is, until I received a text message from my little sister next door reading "If she is making that much noise, she is probably faking it...Trust me, I know." FML
by OhFseriously123 / 08/06/2009 at 6:05am / Italy (Lombardia) / Intimacy
Today, my car was in the shop so I borrowed my wife's VW Beetle convertible. It's really embarrassing because it's a girlie car and it's full of little stuffed animals. At a stop light a man asked me if I'd like to borrow one of his testicles because "every man should have at least one." FML
by NoBalls / 06/11/2009 at 8:23pm / United States (Indiana) / Transportation
Today, I went to a bar with two guys I was interested in. The first I'd been trying to go out with all semester. The second I had gone to dinner with and he seemed nice. I was the designated driver. They drank too much and, on the way home, hooked up in the back seat. FML
by sad_gay / 04/16/2009 at 4:40am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML
by konens_dick / 03/22/2009 at 6:38am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
Today, my son said, "Mommy, sometimes my pee-pee goes up like a stick." I replied, "Well, honey, that's normal and okay." I then asked when it happens, to which he said, "Well, sometimes when watching Scooby Doo and Shaggy comes out dressed in lady clothes." FML
by ScoobieDoo / 03/20/2009 at 12:15am / United States (Washington) / Kids
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
by caroline / 02/06/2009 at 10:29am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
- 1Today, it's been six months since my husband and I have miscarried our daughter who we named Hana… 2Today, I discovered, after years of being grounded for losing my belongings, that I didn't actually… 3Today, eight tornados hit the town where I live. The only person who tried to get a hold of me and…
- Today, I went to pick my husband up from work. got there just in time to see him being dropped off… Today, I had 45 minutes spare between appointments to do some work at the office. I needed to print… Today, my boyfriend went to the ER. I ran to catch the nearest city bus. My sandal breaks. I had to…
- Today, I sprayed pepper spray on a guy who appeared to be following me. He was really cute, and was… Today, I’m in China for work. All my work is stored in my Google Drive, directly via the internet.… Today, I’m on vacation in Peru in the Amazonian forest. I woke up in the middle of the night to the…