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joesmudley12

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joesmudley12
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  • Number of visits : 197
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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joesmudley12's favorite FMLs

Today, I overheard my dad's friend complaining to my dad that his new baby boy is a ginger. I continued listening, and heard my dad saying, "Yeah, there's nothing worse than having a ginger." I'm his daughter. I'm a ginger. FML

#1591597 (338)

I agree, your life sucks (47220) - you deserved it (4622)

On 05/03/2009 at 12:40pm - misc - by Deirbhile (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I brought a cute guy back from the bar to have sex. He was drunk, so he had trouble getting it up, and I said jokingly "you need to work on that". We fell asleep, and I woke up the next morning to him gone and a note that said "you need to work on not farting in your sleep". FML

#1222534 (183)

I agree, your life sucks (17247) - you deserved it (62134)

On 04/22/2009 at 1:46pm - intimacy - by Screwed (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, for the first time ever, a woman saw my penis. I am 30 years old. The woman was my doctor. She snorted to cover a laugh and apologized. FML

#904646 (423)

I agree, your life sucks (173038) - you deserved it (21502)

On 04/10/2009 at 5:40pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I thought I heard my little sister playing on my brand new grand piano. Angry, I ran downstairs to stop her. My parents were having sex. On my piano. FML

#800425 (338)

I agree, your life sucks (191360) - you deserved it (9765)

On 04/04/2009 at 2:15pm - intimacy - by GuitarChick42 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML

#761206 (493)

I agree, your life sucks (170863) - you deserved it (52080)

On 04/02/2009 at 1:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was on a first date with a girl at the movies. Trying to be polite, I held in a fart until an intense, loud action scene came on. As soon as I let go, the scene went silent and my fart was clearly heard to everyone in the movie theatre. My date went to the bathroom. She didn'tcome back. FML

#662645 (165)

I agree, your life sucks (22024) - you deserved it (60811)

On 03/28/2009 at 2:50pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I woke up at my boyfriend's place with grumbling stomach pains. I left him in bed to go have explosive diarreah in the bathroom next to his room. When I was done, I came back to bed and snuggled in next to his sleeping form and he rolled over to whisper, "I heard everthing." FML

#185544 (155)

I agree, your life sucks (60787) - you deserved it (12560)

On 03/02/2009 at 4:51pm - love - by ohmygoodness (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was walking through Borders with my girlfriend, when we pass a girl scout cookies stand. I see a box of Samoas, my favorite, point at them, and shout, 'YEAH'. My girlfriend looks shocked. Behind the box of cookies was a five year old scout bending over, with her bottom pointed at me. FML

#170218 (144)

I agree, your life sucks (45524) - you deserved it (11419)

On 03/01/2009 at 12:55pm - misc - by Scottrick (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was stepping out of the shower while home alone. I heard voices coming from the living room. I grabbed a bat to defend my self and ran into the living room. I slipped on my tile floor and smashed my TV with the bat. No one was in my house but I left my radio turned on. FML

#159713 (55)

I agree, your life sucks (14247) - you deserved it (35163)

On 02/28/2009 at 8:08am - misc - by Slipperywhenwet (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was talking to my mom about my younger brother getting his girlfriend pregnant. She asked me how old I was when I first had sex. I'm a 21 year old virgin. FML

#2509 (130)

I agree, your life sucks (29794) - you deserved it (3552)

On 01/25/2009 at 8:52am - intimacy - by aces10 - United States (Michigan)



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