About joefrazier : My name is Tyrone.
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joefrazier's favorite FMLs
Today, I heard my husband say from outside, "Seriously Dan, what could go wrong?" This was followed a few seconds later by a bang and screaming. Turns out he'd tried to smash his head through a wooden plank like a martial artist and failed. He ended up with splinters and a concussion. FML
by Anonymous / 06/21/2014 at 11:15am / United States (Colorado) / Health
by Axelerate / 06/21/2014 at 2:49am / United States (Nevada) / Work
Today, my doctor got my blood test results from the lab. He looked at me gravely and told me I had just weeks left to live. After I started hyperventilating and crying, he burst out laughing and said he was kidding. He then prescribed me some iron tablets and sent me on my way. FML
by legitfile.bat.virus.exe / 06/20/2014 at 7:03pm / United States (California) / Health
by Anonymous / 06/20/2014 at 5:19pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy
by forever alone / 06/19/2014 at 6:26pm / United States (New York) / Love
Today, I shouldn't have told my boss that I was interested in management. She now throws any problem she doesn't want to solve at me and either gets mad when I can't work it out or takes credit when I do. FML
by Anonymous / 06/19/2014 at 4:24am / United States (California) / Work
by shtidsfpa / 06/18/2014 at 5:06pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by gracezering / 06/17/2014 at 7:45am / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy
by UnhappilyUnemployed / 06/16/2014 at 6:49pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Work
by FirstDaddy / 06/16/2014 at 5:38pm / United States (Michigan) / Kids
Today, my laziness reached an all-time high. I had a dream that I was at school and had spilled all the contents of my backpack onto the floor. I then purposely shook myself out of my sleep to avoid cleaning up the mess in my dream. FML
by Anonymous / 06/16/2014 at 12:33pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was working my shift at our local nursing home. I was assisting a "sweet", "innocent" 100-year-old lady, and she had a bunch of used tissues balled up in her lap, so I offered to dispose of them in the waste-basket. She told me that if I touched them, she would kill everything I love. FML
by caleighrossi / 06/15/2014 at 8:21pm / United States (Iowa) / Work
Today, I was using my phone while in a crowded waiting room, and I accidentally tapped on a YouTube video with the volume still at maximum. The first words everyone heard? "Fuck her right in the pussy!" FML
by Anonymous / 06/14/2014 at 5:32pm / United States (Texas) / Geek
by NextTimeMom'sDriving / 06/11/2014 at 12:41pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/10/2014 at 11:05am / Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got… 3Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for…
- Today, for the first time, I made a guy get a boner and make out with me. This would've been great… Today, just another casual morning. I went to go drop a deuce in the bathroom. Barely being awake I… Today, while having sex with my husband, he went soft. When I asked him what happened he said, "I'm…