About joefrazier : My name is Tyrone.
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You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
joefrazier's favorite FMLs
Today, I took a late-night shower. When I got out afterwards, the bathroom door was ajar, and I could have sworn I heard the faint patter of footsteps in the kitchen. "It's probably the cat," I told myself. Then I went upstairs and saw my cat asleep on my bed. FML
by Anonymous / 12/20/2014 at 9:41am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, I asked out the girl of my dreams. She was so excited that she had a severe asthma attack and ended up in hospital. Her answer was yes, but her parents won't let me anywhere near her now. They say I'm lucky they haven't sued me for "trying to kill her". FML
by Anonymous / 12/06/2014 at 7:56pm / United Kingdom / Love
Today, I have to deal with being laughed at by my mother and sister, because they keep making sharp movements towards me, causing me to flinch. This is because I got mugged and beaten last night. They think it's hysterical. FML
by Anonymous / 11/23/2014 at 12:10pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/11/2014 at 10:37am / United States / Intimacy
by OfficeFatty / 10/29/2014 at 10:41pm / United States / Work
by Anonymous / 10/24/2014 at 8:30pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Love
by 1039583 / 10/03/2014 at 10:43am / United States (Utah) / Work
by heretoserve / 09/27/2014 at 12:22am / United States (Virginia) / Work
by SinkingShip / 09/24/2014 at 3:15am / South Africa / Work
Today, it's the first day of fall. It's also the day that over 20 people have made jokes about my name being "Autumn" like they're the funniest, most original people alive. It's not even 8 am. This is going to be a long day. FML
by Anonymous / 09/23/2014 at 8:00am / United States (Florida) / Work
Today, I was having sex with this amazingly hot guy. Things got pretty intense, and right as I was about to orgasm, the gold crucifix came flying off his necklace and sliced my eyelid open. Message received. Well played, God. FML
by Sinnersinner / 09/21/2014 at 7:27am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, my fiancé and I were having sex in the early hours of the morning. He said "Morning sex is the best thing to wake up to." Without thinking, I responded "Yeah, unless you're in prison." He lost his erection due to laughing so hard and now can't look at me without laughing. FML
by RuinedTheMood / 09/21/2014 at 1:11am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by spitstopper / 08/06/2014 at 10:22pm / United States (Alabama) / Work
Today, I was helping out at my church. At lunchtime, a really cute guy my age walked over and told me I was pretty. I was flattered, until I turned around and saw his annoyed buddies handing him several dollar bills. FML
by what people do for money / 07/18/2014 at 12:45pm / United States (Texas) / Money
by kittynapper / 07/17/2014 at 7:32pm / United States (Colorado) / Animals
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…