About joefrazier : My name is Tyrone.
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joefrazier's favorite FMLs
Today, while on my Dad's computer, I looked through the browser history to find the name of a website I'd visited on it the other day. I soon found out he watches a staggering amount of downright frightening incest porn. I'm disturbed on so many levels. FML
by Anonymous / 07/22/2015 at 7:52am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by ThatOneChick856 / 07/10/2015 at 7:23pm / United States (Tennessee) / Love
Today, my mother got heartburn. She claimed she only gets heartburn when she is near a pregnant woman. She threatened to kick me out of the house if I didn't take a pregnancy test, despite there being no way I was pregnant. Turns out, I am pregnant, and my mother's ego has never been bigger. FML
by RecentCollegeGrad / 06/17/2015 at 2:09pm / Kids
Today, after 5 years in a row of my family doing absolutely nothing to even acknowledge my birthday, I got train tickets to see my boyfriend for the weekend and celebrate with him. I woke up to 6 angry texts about how I'm 'selfish' for not staying at home with my family. FML
by happy21sttome / 06/15/2015 at 9:39am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
by cbarr98 / 06/05/2015 at 9:00pm / United States (Iowa) / Work
Today, during jury duty, the shitbag who's accused of capital murder in our trial took the stand. The prosecution made him look like a total idiot. He got more and more flustered and eventually screamed at us that he'll have us killed if we find him guilty. I believe him. FML
by Anonymous / 06/05/2015 at 2:05pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, while going for a walk, I saw two bunnies next to the road. Apparently, I was scarier than the oncoming traffic, because one of them decided to sprint into the road as I walked by. I could hear its bones crunch as it got hit by a car. FML
by avatarnicole9 / 06/04/2015 at 1:17am / Canada / Animals
by probably single / 05/29/2015 at 2:28pm / Denmark (Syddanmark) / Love
by tmi4me / 05/25/2015 at 11:50pm / United States / Work
Today, my son was at a birthday party. After eating a plate of cake, he loudly asked the birthday boy's mum if he could have sloppy seconds. I don't know where he heard that phrase, but the other kids' parents shot me very dirty looks. FML
by Anonymous / 03/07/2015 at 11:59am / Australia (Western Australia) / Kids
by bingalingading / 02/11/2015 at 8:44pm / United States (Michigan) / Work
Today, my girlfriend told me that her fear of PDA has gotten so bad, she doesn't think she'll even be able to kiss me on our wedding day. Her parents are going be there and she can't imagine showing affection in front of other people, let alone her parents. FML
by uggg / 01/23/2015 at 1:09pm / United States (Washington) / Love
Today, my father seems to be having an affair. A used condom was carelessly left on his nightstand and my mother found it. She refuses to believe that my boyfriend and I are not responsible. As punishment I am "no longer allowed to see him." We're both 22 and live together in our own apartment. FML
by innocent / 01/05/2015 at 10:11pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, my daughter was putting clothes in the drier when she yelled, "Mom!! The drier won't start!" I had to explain to her that the door needed to be shut. Her response, "Oh. I didn't know that mattered." She's 15. FML
by i_am_forever / 01/05/2015 at 8:59pm / United States (California) / Kids
Today, it was my girlfriend's birthday, so I decided to take her to a fancy restaurant and give her an expensive $400 necklace that I had bought. Being traditional, I asked the waiter to arrange it nicely on the tray when he came with our dessert. Neither he nor the necklace ever showed up. FML
by JJ_V3N0M / 01/03/2015 at 5:48am / United States (California) / Love
- Today, a car almost hit me. Since I wasn’t hurt, the driver chased me with a baseball bat to finish… Today, on the road in China, I committed a small offense. A cop saw me, stopped me and told me that… Today, it’s been a week since I arrived in Cuba. Gustav came to visit us. Now it’s Hannah’s turn.…