About jodee_renee : don't mind me.
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jodee_renee's favorite FMLs
Today, I was visiting my cousin's farm. Going out for a morning stroll, I took an apple with me to munch along the way. As I was eating it, I heard a distant thumping sound and was suddenly slammed into the ground. When I looked up, a horse was eating my apple. I got mugged by a horse. FML
by Anonymous / 08/14/2013 at 5:11am / United States (Florida) / Animals
by Erica / 07/08/2013 at 1:27pm / United States (California) / Love
by Your ass... Grab it... / 07/04/2013 at 6:30pm / United States (Texas) / Health
by The Clitshank Redemption / 06/05/2013 at 7:11pm / United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire) / Love
Today, the crazy son of a bitch who lives next door to me once again got into a loud, rather one-sided argument with his cat. 20 minutes later, he knocked on my door, asking if he could stay at my place for a couple of days. The look he gave me when I said no has me fearing for my life. FML
by Anonymous / 06/05/2013 at 6:09pm / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Miscellaneous
Today, after years of training and competing, I realized that the universe does not want me to play the piano. Not only do I have hands that can fit in toddler-sized gloves, my carpal tunnel is already to the point where I have to wear a brace at night, at the ripe old age of 14. FML
by prdp / 06/05/2013 at 12:33pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my puppy came into my room, and I cupped his head in my hands and bent down to kiss him. As I did, I realized that the part of his head I was kissing was covered in his own shit that he'd seemingly been rolling in. FML
by SHIT-BREATH / 06/05/2013 at 12:03pm / United Kingdom (Monmouthshire) / Animals
by TooSunnyForSkin / 06/05/2013 at 12:22am / United States (Indiana) / Holidays
by Anonymous / 01/02/2012 at 8:10pm / United States (Connecticut) / Kids
by beekeke45 / 06/25/2011 at 9:39am / United States (New Hampshire) / Kids
by wtf / 06/09/2011 at 11:04am / United Kingdom (Edinburgh) / Health
Today, I was traveling by bus. There were no spare seats, so I stood next to a seated lady. When she got off at her stop, I was amused because her bum made the shape of a mushroom on the seat. I went to sit on it. So I'm sitting there when I realise the seat is really warm... and wet. FML
by babydoll / 10/12/2010 at 5:26am / United Kingdom (Fife) / Transportation
Today, I decided to play a joke on my boyfriend and planned to pretend that I found a thong in his gym bag. When he came home, I "confronted" him. After struggling through putting on my best face, he, unexpectedly confessed: "Look, babe, I'm sorry. It meant nothing." FML
by Anonymous / 03/23/2009 at 4:42pm / United States (Connecticut) / Love
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- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…