About jodee_renee : don't mind me.
jodee_renee's FML badges
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
jodee_renee's favorite FMLs
Today, I was visiting my cousin's farm. Going out for a morning stroll, I took an apple with me to munch along the way. As I was eating it, I heard a distant thumping sound and was suddenly slammed into the ground. When I looked up, a horse was eating my apple. I got mugged by a horse. FML
by Anonymous / 08/14/2013 at 5:11am / United States (Florida) / Animals
by Erica / 07/08/2013 at 1:27pm / United States (California) / Love
by Your ass... Grab it... / 07/04/2013 at 6:30pm / United States (Texas) / Health
by The Clitshank Redemption / 06/05/2013 at 7:11pm / United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire) / Love
Today, the crazy son of a bitch who lives next door to me once again got into a loud, rather one-sided argument with his cat. 20 minutes later, he knocked on my door, asking if he could stay at my place for a couple of days. The look he gave me when I said no has me fearing for my life. FML
by Anonymous / 06/05/2013 at 6:09pm / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Miscellaneous
Today, after years of training and competing, I realized that the universe does not want me to play the piano. Not only do I have hands that can fit in toddler-sized gloves, my carpal tunnel is already to the point where I have to wear a brace at night, at the ripe old age of 14. FML
by prdp / 06/05/2013 at 12:33pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my puppy came into my room, and I cupped his head in my hands and bent down to kiss him. As I did, I realized that the part of his head I was kissing was covered in his own shit that he'd seemingly been rolling in. FML
by SHIT-BREATH / 06/05/2013 at 12:03pm / United Kingdom (Monmouthshire) / Animals
by TooSunnyForSkin / 06/05/2013 at 12:22am / United States (Indiana) / Holidays
by Anonymous / 01/02/2012 at 8:10pm / United States (Connecticut) / Kids
by beekeke45 / 06/25/2011 at 9:39am / United States (New Hampshire) / Kids
by wtf / 06/09/2011 at 11:04am / United Kingdom (Edinburgh) / Health
Today, I was traveling by bus. There were no spare seats, so I stood next to a seated lady. When she got off at her stop, I was amused because her bum made the shape of a mushroom on the seat. I went to sit on it. So I'm sitting there when I realise the seat is really warm... and wet. FML
by babydoll / 10/12/2010 at 5:26am / United Kingdom (Fife) / Transportation
Today, I decided to play a joke on my boyfriend and planned to pretend that I found a thong in his gym bag. When he came home, I "confronted" him. After struggling through putting on my best face, he, unexpectedly confessed: "Look, babe, I'm sorry. It meant nothing." FML
by Anonymous / 03/23/2009 at 4:42pm / United States (Connecticut) / Love
- « Previous page
- Next page »
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…