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jobeepkatarzy

Offline (the 09/13/2014 at 4:32pm) | Search for a member

jobeepkatarzy

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  • Number of visits : 19
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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jobeepkatarzy's favorite FMLs

Today, my college did a fire drill, and instructions were given by intercom in English and Spanish. The guy beside me mused: "If they say it in English and Mexican, why not say it in Black too?" That guy is my idiot brother, and he was dead serious. Sometimes I think our parents are related. FML

#21257016
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32314) - you deserved it (2628)

On 09/12/2014 at 4:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I fell asleep with my luggage at a bus terminal. Upon waking up, I found that someone had opened my bags and stolen all my socks. FML

#21255144
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34590) - you deserved it (6642)

On 09/09/2014 at 4:23pm - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, my sister introduced me to her new, deaf boyfriend. She proudly proclaimed that she was trying to learn sign language for his sake, so he wouldn't have to read her lips. I'm also deaf and have been trying to get her to do the same for me for 20 goddamn years. FML

#21250726
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48065) - you deserved it (2449)

On 09/02/2014 at 7:38pm - misc - by SadAndDeaf -

Today, I was watching the movie Frozen with my 8 year old daughter. I had seen it before, so I sung along with some of the songs. My daughter put a finger over my lips, said "Shhhhhhhhut the fuck up," then turned back to the TV, giggling. FML

#21245090
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36408) - you deserved it (13661)

On 08/25/2014 at 2:05pm - kids - by JackieD (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had to awkwardly grab my pink dildo after my husband's friend asked what it was that my dog was chewing on. FML

Today, I found out the hard way that no good girlfriend-boyfriend conversation ever started with, "Suppose I slept with your best friend..." FML

#21229506
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39257) - you deserved it (7885)

On 08/04/2014 at 7:04pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my husband was disgusted by me expressing breast milk while we were in the shower together. This is the same man who thinks it's funny to pee on my legs because, "It'll wash off." FML

#21229021
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42515) - you deserved it (4185)

On 08/04/2014 at 1:42am - health - by Ew?Really? (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, at work, an old man was having trouble using his credit card at the checkout. I told him to "just stick it in", and he replied with "I love it when you talk dirty to me." The whole line at the checkout laughed. FML

#21228111
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49081) - you deserved it (21215)

On 08/03/2014 at 1:16am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he wanted me to get him some take out. He responded with, "I think we should see other people. Uh, chicken please." FML

#21227320
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42149) - you deserved it (3373)

On 08/02/2014 at 1:35am - love - by bertiebeth - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went on Facebook. The third post down was a selfie of my mom looking sad, with the caption, "God I need a good dicking." FML

#21218442
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49953) - you deserved it (11736)

On 07/23/2014 at 4:00pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend said we can't have sex with the light on anymore. He said he can never finish because the face I make when I orgasm makes him laugh. FML

#21216984
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36170) - you deserved it (23681)

On 07/22/2014 at 1:55am - intimacy - by teegtwo (woman) - United States

Today, on the bus, a little boy gave me the dirtiest look, pointed at my pregnant stomach, and menacingly said, "I know what you did." FML

#21205823
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50543) - you deserved it (6620)

On 07/11/2014 at 7:03am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I overheard my mother talking to her friend, and using me as an example of how it's sometimes best to swallow. FML

#21196146
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46106) - you deserved it (4647)

On 07/02/2014 at 11:54am - intimacy - by unwanted daughter (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went on a date with this girl. Turns out she's a software developer, too. Our date became a technical discussion. FML

#21195553
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39000) - you deserved it (10416)

On 07/01/2014 at 9:20pm - love - by devdevdev (man) - Brazil (Rio Grande do Sul)

Today, I tried to be seductive to get intimate with my boyfriend. He commented on how sexy I looked, and how badly he wanted me, then asked me to move because I was blocking the TV, and the World Cup match he was watching. FML

#21192852
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42924) - you deserved it (15280)

On 06/29/2014 at 7:14pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)



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