![[fr]](http://cdn2.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_fr_hover.gif)
![[it]](http://cdn5.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_it_hover.gif)
![[es2]](http://cdn1.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_es2_hover.gif)
![[tr]](http://cdn1.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_tr_hover.gif)
![[de]](http://cdn2.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_de_hover.gif)
![[ru]](http://cdn3.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_ru_hover.gif)
![[se]](http://cdn5.fmylife.com/fmylife/images/flag_se_hover.gif)
This member hasn't filled in the description.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I finally broke my two year dry spell, but as she was putting on the condom, I came. She laughed from the time she was putting on her clothes to when she walked out the door. I don't think she's going to call back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31115) - you deserved it (5844)
On 01/27/2009 at 7:47am - intimacy - by theguy24 - United States (Nebraska)
Today, I was masturbating lying on the lower bed of my brother's and my bunk beds. I finished jacking off and tried to get up to clean myself I hit my head on metal panel of the upper bed and passed out. Later woke up in my bed... found out my parents came home and saw me passed out naked holding a porn mag. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9905) - you deserved it (28023)
On 01/23/2009 at 2:50pm - intimacy - by killmyself - United States (California)
Today, a girl invited me over to her dorm room at 3 AM. For some reason, I thought it would be a good idea to respond to e-mails just before. She said she was tired and then went to bed. I'm a F*ing idiot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2511) - you deserved it (25510)
On 01/22/2009 at 3:34pm - love - by Princeton - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I've been dating a girl for a year and she's only touched my penis twice. Once by accident. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15393) - you deserved it (6495)
On 01/20/2009 at 11:52am - love - by jobless - Sent from mobile version
Today, I decided to jack it a few times because I haven't been laid in a while. After round 3 my ex called me up and said she wanted to 'talk.' When she came over she made it abundantly clear that she wanted to make whoopie. Couldn't get it up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13843) - you deserved it (25526)
On 01/18/2009 at 11:30am - intimacy - by f__k_it - United States (Oregon)
Today, I just got done reading all the healthy benefits that come with sex. One of them is higher self-esteem. Then I remembered that I haven't had sex in 15 months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13265) - you deserved it (1618)
On 01/18/2009 at 7:41am - intimacy - by SSH - United States (Florida)
Today, the girl I've had a crush on decided she wanted to see a movie with me. I tried to hold her hand during the movie and it was great for about 4 minutes. Then she said "Can I have my hand back?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (12340) - you deserved it (1714)
On 01/18/2009 at 7:12am - love - by vargasm - United States (New York)
Today, I told the man I love to "go first" when we started talking at the same time. I wanted to confess my feelings, he wanted to tell me about his engagement. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14263) - you deserved it (998)
On 01/17/2009 at 9:55pm - love - by biblio - United States (Texas)
Today, all I wanted was stress-relief sex with the guy I sleep with. Instead, I was so exhausted from my day that he thought I wasn't into it and ended up just talking to me about what we're going to do after college. Trading a booty call for a meaningful and heartfelt discussion. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5722) - you deserved it (22129)
On 01/17/2009 at 3:40pm - intimacy - by Noname - United States (New Jersey)
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
