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jmz_199

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jmz_199

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  • Number of visits : 1432
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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jmz_199's page activity

Visits<b>Thursdayxo</b> - the 10/23/2013 at 9:52am<b>badmandilon</b> - the 09/29/2013 at 11:26pm<b>ChrisKT92</b> - the 09/17/2013 at 4:11am<b>Dre27</b> - the 09/09/2013 at 3:36am<b>olpally</b> - the 09/06/2013 at 9:06pm<b>Faith13</b> - the 08/20/2013 at 3:30am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 07/26/2013 at 8:07pm<b>Garagedwella</b> - the 06/30/2013 at 3:40pm<b>usernameunkn0wn</b> - the 06/15/2013 at 3:14pm<b>IHaveNoKoolAid</b> - the 05/15/2013 at 6:45pm<b>Bella1979</b> - the 05/15/2013 at 8:37am<b>MrClean17</b> - the 05/15/2013 at 3:01am<b>xlord</b> - the 04/27/2013 at 8:50pm<b>Tim2415</b> - the 04/26/2013 at 7:50am

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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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jmz_199's favorite FMLs

Today, my teacher was talking about anorexia and bulimia. Midway through the lesson, she stopped and knowingly asked if I wanted to share my experiences with the class. I don't have an eating disorder, just a screwed-up metabolism. FML

#20904715
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50943) - you deserved it (2989)

On 10/02/2013 at 2:37pm - health - by 94lbs of muscle -

Today, my mom and I got the answer to the question, "Is our dog really dumb enough to jump out of the window of a moving vehicle?" The answer: Yes. FML

#20904318
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42496) - you deserved it (5850)

On 10/02/2013 at 2:36am - animals - by BasketGhost - United States (New York)

Today, I was in a public bathroom with the runs when I noticed my stall didn't have any toilet paper. I was the only one in the bathroom, and I thought I could make it to the stall next to me and grab some with my pants down. I wasn't actually the only one in there. FML

#20901686
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38893) - you deserved it (8207)

On 09/30/2013 at 6:30am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my dad asked me to stop calling him "dad" because it’s too weird for his girlfriend’s kids to hear, because they call him dad. FML

#20901637
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52409) - you deserved it (2502)

On 09/30/2013 at 4:04am - kids - by meens42 - United States

Today, I realized how bad my insomnia had got when I tried answering my water bottle when my alarm went off. FML

#20901491
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34551) - you deserved it (2760)

On 09/30/2013 at 1:01am - health - by Overworked - United States

Today, I was using the bathroom at McDonald's when my wallet fell out of my pocket. A lady reached into my stall and tried to grab it. FML

Today, I sent my boyfriend a text asking him to come over a little later and have some "fun" with me. He texted back, "WTF babe? Breaking Bad's on tonight. You got a dildo, fucking use it." FML

#20900698
293 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61263) - you deserved it (25719)

On 09/29/2013 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by -___- (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend walked in on me taking a dump, and started plucking her eyebrows. When I told her I was uncomfortable, she said, "Aww, is my baby's poo shy? Is it, is it?" and pinched my cheek. FML

#20900665
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41116) - you deserved it (6886)

On 09/29/2013 at 3:21pm - misc - by noweddingforyou (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boss' son is training to take over my job as head translator, after having convinced his dad that he's fluent in Spanish, and that my skills suck. I soon walked in on him using Google Translate on a legal document. My boss refuses to believe me. FML

#20898132
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44303) - you deserved it (2644)

On 09/27/2013 at 3:41pm - work - by anahira6 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up from a night of heavy drinking to find my girlfriend dumped me. Apparently I drunk-called her last night and told her that someone as beautiful as her could be with someone way better than me. She agreed. FML

#20897714
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39107) - you deserved it (16184)

On 09/27/2013 at 3:33am - love - by drinkdrankdrunk (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I went in the diner I always pass by and ordered a sandwich. When I asked how much it was, the waitress replied, "Don't worry, honey. We give free meals to the homeless on Thursdays." I was too ashamed to deny it, so I just said thank you and left. FML

#20896706
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42475) - you deserved it (5588)

On 09/26/2013 at 11:20am - misc - by horriblefashionsense (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I learned that an antidepressant that works too well is a stimulant. I've been jittering and twitching like a meth-head, and my co-workers are asking when Jesse will be showing up with my "stuff". FML

#20896646
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35142) - you deserved it (2956)

On 09/26/2013 at 9:50am - health - by CancerFdMyLife (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I walked in on my roommate whacking off to clown porn. FML

#20895842
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51458) - you deserved it (6302)

On 09/25/2013 at 5:33pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, a drunk man walked into my house at 2pm, screaming out, "Honey, I'm home!" He had the wrong house, but it looks like I've finally met my new neighbour. FML

#20895601
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36590) - you deserved it (3088)

On 09/25/2013 at 12:35pm - misc - by nicetomeetyou2 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend made bacon sandwiches for lunch. I didn't want to be rude, but I couldn't help but mention that the bacon smelled and tasted weird. I thought it may have expired. She said not to worry because she used the dry bacon under the counter. Those were dog treats. FML

#20894470
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47605) - you deserved it (4274)

On 09/24/2013 at 3:08pm - misc - by Undercooked (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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