Search for a member

Offline (the 11/12/2014 at 2:41am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 9 May 1997 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 857
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About jmdnba097 : Im jordan
17 reside in texas
Senior in HS, and single as a pringle

jmdnba097's page activity

Visits<b>Trainn</b> - the 10/12/2016 at 1:19am<b>jsb1426</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 4:03pm<b>lemmegetsumpizza</b> - the 09/08/2015 at 4:08pm<b>brwneyes</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 11:14pm<b>mattc99</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 7:27am<b>Martinde</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 9:21am<b>Miss_Brii</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 2:06am<b>Emi1y</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 7:26pm<b>LittleBells</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 10:55pm<b>bcoe</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 8:13am<b>YTfangirl</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 4:08pm<b>CandyDawg</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 10:42pm<b>josh_forbes32</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 4:37pm<b>Lebeaugars95</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 9:48am<b>Han1156</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 8:38am<b>enphinitie</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 4:15am<b>manchesterUK</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 3:24am<b>MissEris</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 11:57pm

jmdnba097's FML badges

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of jmdnba097's badges

jmdnba097's favorite FMLs

Today, my crazy psychopath of a neighbor sent me an email with the subject, "So, about your sex life." I've been sitting here for 20 minutes staring at it because I'm too scared to open it. FML

by schooyou101 / 12/03/2012 at 7:53pm / United States (Kansas) / Intimacy

Today, I got a call from my boyfriend saying I needed to come home immediately. When I got there, he informed me that the reason I needed to rush home from work was because he wiped a booger on the wall and it was in the shape of a penis. He said it's a sign, like when people see Jesus in toast. FML

by FlyingFist / 12/03/2012 at 7:38pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was slapped across the face by a girl in the waiting room at the dentist's office. She thought I was taking a picture of her breasts with my phone. I was smiling while reading other people's FMLs. FML

by karmamaybe / 12/03/2012 at 3:35pm / United States (South Dakota) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got into a fight with my girlfriend. After yelling and arguing my point, my cat got up and jumped up next to her on the bed. He sat down, and they both glared at me until I left. FML

by Anonymous / 12/03/2012 at 2:02pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm breaking up with her because she's very abusive. After a couple of seconds of awkward silence, she kicked me in the nuts and ran away. FML

by Anonymous / 12/03/2012 at 6:53am / Canada / Love

Today, I decided to be responsible and call a cab to take my drunk ass home from the bar. As I climbed into the cab, I was quickly pulled back out and had the shit beaten out of me by a group of drunk guys who thought they needed the ride more. The police soon arrived and arrested us all. FML

by ronboy / 11/26/2012 at 6:11pm / United States (Ohio) / Transportation

Today, I ran into my sister, who nobody in the family has seen in six years. She looked very happy working the pole. FML

by Teddy / 11/26/2012 at 3:54pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend decided it would be cute to leave a love letter in my car while I was at work. She left my lights on. I got a dead battery. FML

by Blake Lawrence / 11/26/2012 at 1:59pm / United States (Utah) / Love

Today, I played paintball with a bunch of friends. By the end of the day, my girlfriend and I were the only people left on the field. She shot me mercilessly, and I screamed like a little girl. 30 people watched, 4 people filmed. FML

by Z / 11/26/2012 at 5:26am / Australia / Miscellaneous

Today, I heard a teenage boy ask his friend, "So, is it, like, November in Australia too?" This is the future of America. FML

by toritoratora / 11/26/2012 at 12:27am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I was handing candy to a little boy who was trick or treating by himself. He was small enough to grab the candy and run past me into my house. I've been searching my house for two hours and still can't find him. I'm afraid to go to sleep. FML

by ananymous / 10/31/2012 at 11:04pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, my 13-year-old son discovered Axe. Axe shower gel. Axe shampoo. Axe body spray. All at once. FML

by BobsBabe2 / 10/24/2012 at 1:15am / United States / Kids

Today, I was getting out of the car when I saw a dark figure approaching me from behind a shed. I screamed and threw my bag. It also threw its bag, due to the fact that it was my shadow on the wall. FML

by ktreens / 10/19/2012 at 12:06am / Canada (Manitoba) / Miscellaneous

Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression "knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as "kill yourself." FML

by Holy Testacles / 10/17/2012 at 12:45am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband let me know he felt I was ignoring him by jabbing me in the right ear with his erect penis while I was Skyping with my mum overseas. FML

by Anonymous / 10/10/2012 at 5:48pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Intimacy