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jmdnba097

Offline (the 11/12/2014 at 2:41am) | Search for a member

jmdnba097

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 9 May 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 374
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About jmdnba097 : Im jordan
17 reside in texas
Senior in HS, and single as a pringle

jmdnba097's page activity

Visits<b>brwneyes</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 11:14pm<b>mattc99</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 7:27am<b>Martinde</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 9:21am<b>Miss_Brii</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 2:06am<b>Emi1y</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 7:26pm<b>LittleBells</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 10:55pm<b>bcoe</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 8:13am<b>YTfangirl</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 4:08pm<b>CandyDawg</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 10:42pm<b>josh_forbes32</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 4:37pm<b>Lebeaugars95</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 9:48am<b>Han1156</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 8:38am<b>enphinitie</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 4:15am<b>manchesterUK</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 3:24am<b>MissEris</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 11:57pm<b>Xquisite1</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 11:50pm<b>spazzi12</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 11:45pm<b>jelly_bennett</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 11:32pm

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jmdnba097's favorite FMLs

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend. In the heat of the moment, I said his name. He immediately stopped, gave me a deadly serious look and said "Huh? What?" FML

#21284688
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30858) - you deserved it (3681)

On 10/24/2014 at 10:48pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my 17-year-old son managed to easily convince my 13-year-old daughter that if you have sex before getting married, you'll instantly get horrible diseases that will kill you. Her freaking out is how I found out she's not only gullible as hell, but sexually active as well. FML

#21283066
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41204) - you deserved it (5019)

On 10/22/2014 at 12:09pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, I found a book in my attic that I always read when I was a kid. For old times sake I read it again. On the very first page, child me had written, "Go to page 15" so I did. On page 15, in big red letters, it said, "Get bent". I got pranked by myself. FML

#21281163
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29511) - you deserved it (7817)

On 10/19/2014 at 3:27pm - misc - by Deadpool434 (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I was sitting on a bench at the local park, eating a banana. A guy old enough to be my grandfather walked by, turned to look at me, then said "Young man, I wish I were that banana." He walked away, and I almost blacked out choking on it in shock. FML

#21265897
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35734) - you deserved it (3650)

On 09/26/2014 at 4:40pm - misc - by Operation Yewtree here I come (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I had some painful gas at work, so I tried to silently ease it out. It was silent all right; silent, and so deadly that someone exclaimed, "What the fuck?!" My coworkers traced it back to me. Now they're all pointing their mini desk fans in my direction to make a point. FML

#21241122
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37199) - you deserved it (3482)

On 08/19/2014 at 5:54pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was hammered, and on my way home I walked into a policeman. My logic was: if I'm on the phone, he can't talk to me, so I pulled my phone out and started speaking. The officer then asked me why I was speaking to my wallet. FML

#21240900
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24878) - you deserved it (45452)

On 08/19/2014 at 9:37am - misc - by drunk under 18 teenager (man) - Morocco (Marrakech-Tensift-Al Haouz)

Today, I learned that when someone is choking you don't do the "hymen maneuver", you do the "heimlich maneuver". I was corrected by my girlfriend's parents. FML

#21240474
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31221) - you deserved it (13752)

On 08/18/2014 at 12:29pm - misc - by FANZZY - United States (New York)

Today, my mother came back from her trip to Vegas. Her breasts were obviously 2 letter sizes larger. I asked if she got a boob job and she denied it, saying that it's against her religion. She's an atheist, and a liar. FML

#20460160
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33737) - you deserved it (3080)

On 01/15/2013 at 12:45am - misc - by Brooke - United States (California)

Today, I found out my new girlfriend is a screamer. This would normally turn me on, except she sounds like she's being murdered with a rusty fork. FML

#20193609
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34706) - you deserved it (3993)

On 12/06/2012 at 9:24am - intimacy - by Dontwaketheneighbors (man) - United States (California)

Today, I ran into my high school crush at Target. When I asked her if she remembered me, she patted me on the head, said, "Unfortunately," and walked away. FML

#20191408
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21713) - you deserved it (2307)

On 12/04/2012 at 8:06pm - misc - by Likian5 (man) - United States

Today, after having sex, my girlfriend left my apartment after furiously ranting at me, because I made her come "too many times" and that it's "unfair" to her. What? FML

Today, I was riding the train and someone farted. Everyone looked at me. People always blame farts on the fat guy. FML

#20190789
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28385) - you deserved it (6132)

On 12/04/2012 at 11:04am - misc - by Banana (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, I faced a dilemma. If I don't let the cat sleep in my bedroom, she spends all night howling at the door, waking up my 2-year-old in the process. If I do let her in, the dog gets distressed and chews the contents of the bin. If I let both of them in, I have no room to sleep. FML

Today, my boyfriend and I had a disagreement over the pronunciation of the word "train." It turned into a heated debate that lasted all night and ended with us sleeping in separate rooms. FML

Today, while I was at a urinal, a man came up to use the one next to me. He then said, "I guess this is where all the dicks hang out." He then stared at me until I left. FML

#20190054
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21058) - you deserved it (1637)

On 12/03/2012 at 9:14pm - misc - by reedcarter -



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