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jmdnba097

Offline (the 10/22/2014 at 2:18am) | Search for a member

jmdnba097

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 9 May 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 270
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About jmdnba097 : Im jordan
17 reside in texas
Senior in HS, and single as a pringle

jmdnba097's page activity

Visits<b>brwneyes</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 11:14pm<b>mattc99</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 7:27am<b>Martinde</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 9:21am<b>Miss_Brii</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 2:06am<b>Emi1y</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 7:26pm<b>LittleBells</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 10:55pm<b>bcoe</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 8:13am<b>YTfangirl</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 4:08pm<b>CandyDawg</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 10:42pm<b>josh_forbes32</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 4:37pm<b>Lebeaugars95</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 9:48am<b>Han1156</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 8:38am<b>enphinitie</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 4:15am<b>manchesterUK</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 3:24am<b>MissEris</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 11:57pm<b>Xquisite1</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 11:50pm<b>spazzi12</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 11:45pm<b>jelly_bennett</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 11:32pm

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jmdnba097's favorite FMLs

Today, I found a book in my attic that I always read when I was a kid. For old times sake I read it again. On the very first page, child me had written, "Go to page 15" so I did. On page 15, in big red letters, it said, "Get bent". I got pranked by myself. FML

#21281163
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27112) - you deserved it (6974)

On 10/19/2014 at 3:27pm - misc - by Deadpool434 (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I was sitting on a bench at the local park, eating a banana. A guy old enough to be my grandfather walked by, turned to look at me, then said "Young man, I wish I were that banana." He walked away, and I almost blacked out choking on it in shock. FML

#21265897
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35634) - you deserved it (3641)

On 09/26/2014 at 4:40pm - misc - by Operation Yewtree here I come (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I had some painful gas at work, so I tried to silently ease it out. It was silent all right; silent, and so deadly that someone exclaimed, "What the fuck?!" My coworkers traced it back to me. Now they're all pointing their mini desk fans in my direction to make a point. FML

#21241122
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37145) - you deserved it (3471)

On 08/19/2014 at 5:54pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was hammered, and on my way home I walked into a policeman. My logic was: if I'm on the phone, he can't talk to me, so I pulled my phone out and started speaking. The officer then asked me why I was speaking to my wallet. FML

#21240900
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24294) - you deserved it (44707)

On 08/19/2014 at 9:37am - misc - by drunk under 18 teenager (man) - Morocco (Marrakech-Tensift-Al Haouz)

Today, I learned that when someone is choking you don't do the "hymen maneuver", you do the "heimlich maneuver". I was corrected by my girlfriend's parents. FML

#21240474
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31197) - you deserved it (13736)

On 08/18/2014 at 12:29pm - misc - by FANZZY - United States (New York)

Today, my mother came back from her trip to Vegas. Her breasts were obviously 2 letter sizes larger. I asked if she got a boob job and she denied it, saying that it's against her religion. She's an atheist, and a liar. FML

#20460160
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33664) - you deserved it (3072)

On 01/15/2013 at 12:45am - misc - by Brooke - United States (California)

Today, I found out my new girlfriend is a screamer. This would normally turn me on, except she sounds like she's being murdered with a rusty fork. FML

#20193609
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34635) - you deserved it (3988)

On 12/06/2012 at 9:24am - intimacy - by Dontwaketheneighbors (man) - United States (California)

Today, I ran into my high school crush at Target. When I asked her if she remembered me, she patted me on the head, said, "Unfortunately," and walked away. FML

#20191408
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21669) - you deserved it (2302)

On 12/04/2012 at 8:06pm - misc - by Likian5 (man) - United States

Today, after having sex, my girlfriend left my apartment after furiously ranting at me, because I made her come "too many times" and that it's "unfair" to her. What? FML

Today, I was riding the train and someone farted. Everyone looked at me. People always blame farts on the fat guy. FML

#20190789
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28339) - you deserved it (6125)

On 12/04/2012 at 11:04am - misc - by Banana (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, I faced a dilemma. If I don't let the cat sleep in my bedroom, she spends all night howling at the door, waking up my 2-year-old in the process. If I do let her in, the dog gets distressed and chews the contents of the bin. If I let both of them in, I have no room to sleep. FML

Today, my boyfriend and I had a disagreement over the pronunciation of the word "train." It turned into a heated debate that lasted all night and ended with us sleeping in separate rooms. FML

Today, while I was at a urinal, a man came up to use the one next to me. He then said, "I guess this is where all the dicks hang out." He then stared at me until I left. FML

#20190054
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21002) - you deserved it (1633)

On 12/03/2012 at 9:14pm - misc - by reedcarter -

Today, my crazy psychopath of a neighbor sent me an email with the subject, "So, about your sex life." I've been sitting here for 20 minutes staring at it because I'm too scared to open it. FML

#20189915
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32784) - you deserved it (3400)

On 12/03/2012 at 7:53pm - intimacy - by schooyou101 - United States (Kansas)

Today, I got a call from my boyfriend saying I needed to come home immediately. When I got there, he informed me that the reason I needed to rush home from work was because he wiped a booger on the wall and it was in the shape of a penis. He said it's a sign, like when people see Jesus in toast. FML

#20189885
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20702) - you deserved it (2911)

On 12/03/2012 at 7:38pm - misc - by FlyingFist - United States



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