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jmarti1024

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jmarti1024

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  • Number of visits : 125
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Visits<b>olpally</b> - the 01/27/2014 at 10:43pm<b>greeneyebeauty9</b> - the 10/20/2013 at 12:22pm<b>Faith13</b> - the 08/20/2013 at 3:23am

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jmarti1024's favorite FMLs

Today, it was my first day at my new school. I've never been the new girl before, so I asked my best friend for advice. She said, "Whatever you do, do not, under any circumstances, be yourself." FML

#21029148
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43297) - you deserved it (4972)

On 01/15/2014 at 8:57pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I sang "happy birthday" to my best friend. Sadly, it was while waitressing at work, where they were having a celebration I hadn't been invited to in the first place. FML

#21024621
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50413) - you deserved it (3790)

On 01/11/2014 at 3:26pm - misc - by left out - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was at another long swim-meet, when my daughter shaved 15 seconds off her record swim time. When I asked her how she did it, she replied, "Well someone told me to swim as fast as I can." She's just been taking her time all these years. FML

#20759731
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47478) - you deserved it (5027)

On 07/02/2013 at 12:25pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Vermont)

Today, I decided to try Karate. In an attempt to roundhouse-kick a hanging boxing glove, I knocked over a lamp, lost my balance and pulled down my curtains. My neighbor then looked through the window, started laughing and yelled, "KUNG FO POWA!" FML

#20749220
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25190) - you deserved it (31839)

On 06/26/2013 at 9:57pm - misc - by blahblah (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I drove 600 miles to be with my boyfriend of two years for his uncle's funeral. He didn't want me to come because I am seven months pregnant and flying is dangerous in the third trimester. When I got there I don't know who was more suprised to see me: him, his wife, or their kids. FML

#6210144
295 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73668) - you deserved it (5815)

On 11/08/2009 at 10:39am - love - by homewrecker - United States

Today, I walked in on my husband in our room completely naked. At first I thought he was waiting for me so we could have sex. He hadn't seen me yet, so I started to undress too to surprise him. Then I saw that he had drawn a face on his penis and he was talking to it. FML

#4619260
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72451) - you deserved it (5794)

On 08/18/2009 at 1:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom drove me to football practice. On the way she told me that she thought I was gay and that my friend was my lover. After 15 agonizing minutes of this, we get to my practice only to be greeted by my shirtless friend wearing a pink bandana saying "Man, you hit me hard last night." FML

#4421825
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69647) - you deserved it (6517)

On 08/10/2009 at 3:10am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend, who never initiates sex, pulled me into my room and onto my bed with kisses and other seductive behavior. As I'm thinking about how awesome it is that's she's doing this for once, she reaches down, grabs my underwear, and gives me the worst wedgie I've ever received. FML

#3684210
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69513) - you deserved it (12219)

On 07/12/2009 at 1:38am - intimacy - by robinhoood (man) - United States (California)

Today, I rushed home to tell my parents my girlfriend had accepted my proposal. They asked how I could be so selfish at a time like this. Apparently, Michael Jackson's death is more important than their son. FML

#3215431
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73053) - you deserved it (6313)

On 06/25/2009 at 8:56pm - love - by Tom (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I had my first appearance in a court as an attorney. I called the prosecution the prostitution. FML

#2796637
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70424) - you deserved it (21835)

On 06/11/2009 at 7:52am - work - by apav (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I flew to see my long distance boyfriend who I haven't seen in 6 months. Upon seeing me, he ran up to me, picked me up and swung me around like they do in the movies. In doing so, my foot hit a 4 year old child who was running past and knocked him out. FML

#1815413
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75237) - you deserved it (8406)

On 05/10/2009 at 2:49pm - love - by airport (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I woke up happier than I've ever been because last night I hooked up with the girl I have loved for almost a year and I thought I would never get with her. This morning I saw that her status on Facebook was "FML". FML

#1782670
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75127) - you deserved it (6491)

On 05/09/2009 at 4:18pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I got T-boned by a woman going 60 mph. I was unconscious for hours while a tube was inserted into my collapsed lung. Upon waking up my 16-year old brother thought it would be hilarious to yank out my leg hairs. FML

#1144667
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77992) - you deserved it (3111)

On 04/20/2009 at 1:53am - health - by robinhoood (man) - United States (California)

Today, at the rehearsal for my wedding, my mother told my bride's mother to fuck off. FML

#1072377
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74118) - you deserved it (3638)

On 04/17/2009 at 11:14pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my boyfriend was in the shower, and I decided to go join him. I took all my clothes off and stepped into the bathroom. I slipped on some water, and ended up hitting my head on the toilet and passing out. When I came to, I saw my boyfriend's dad looking over me in his towel. Wrong person. FML

#796416
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74449) - you deserved it (40906)

On 04/04/2009 at 4:04am - intimacy - by showerstupid (woman) - United States (California)



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