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jmarti1024

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jmarti1024

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  • Number of visits : 150
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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jmarti1024's page activity

Visits<b>olpally</b> - the 01/27/2014 at 10:43pm<b>greeneyebeauty9</b> - the 10/20/2013 at 12:22pm<b>Faith13</b> - the 08/20/2013 at 3:23am

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jmarti1024's favorite FMLs

Today, I went on a blind date. At the end of the night, I told him I had a surprisingly great time. He replied, "Yeah, that was fun. You're really funny and smart. If you were pretty, I'd totally go out with you again." FML

#21064082
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54286) - you deserved it (4836)

On 02/18/2014 at 12:45am - love - by fiercehawk (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was feeling really good about myself for running and walking everywhere so much so that I was out of breath and panting. Well, until I remembered that I was playing a video game and it was my character that was doing the running around that is. FML

#21063762
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17941) - you deserved it (39149)

On 02/17/2014 at 8:57pm - health - by Tomb Raider Wannabe (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, after 3 weeks of hard work, I finally finished painting my room. Apparently my 6-year-old brother thought I wasn't done and that he should help me out. I now have little red handprints all over my white walls. FML

#21063710
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35586) - you deserved it (4684)

On 02/17/2014 at 8:01pm - kids - by LittleArtist - United States (Alabama)

Today, my neighbor had a word with me for being "loud in the bedroom" last night. I haven't had any action for two years now, but I was too happy that she thought I'd got lucky to tell her the truth. So what was I really doing last night? Trying to sing like Christina Aguilera. FML

#21063667
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36200) - you deserved it (6314)

On 02/17/2014 at 7:14pm - misc - by I must suck at singing (woman) - United States

Today, I was singing while driving through the car park. I blacked out trying to hit a high note, and ended up bashing into another car. FML

#21063366
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22594) - you deserved it (39158)

On 02/17/2014 at 12:43pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, out of boredom, I built my cat a little fort. Later, I decided to crawl inside to pet her, but as soon as I stuck my head in, she clawed me. I guess I'm not allowed in, then. FML

#21061796
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38713) - you deserved it (8523)

On 02/15/2014 at 7:50pm - animals - by unloved cat owner - United States (California)

Today, I proudly informed my grandma that I now have a girlfriend. My grandpa overheard and said how surprising that was, given how expensive blowup dolls are. He and my grandma then both laughed out loud. FML

#21061712
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43963) - you deserved it (5645)

On 02/15/2014 at 6:14pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I told my husband how frisky I was feeling, and asked him what he was going to do about it. He reached into our fruit bowl, tossed me a banana and told me to work it out, then returned to his video game. FML

#21061692
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52334) - you deserved it (7830)

On 02/15/2014 at 5:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I'm stuck in a hotel with my psychotic mom, all because she swore there were "demonic" noises coming from our oven. Yeah, our oven is totally possessed, you idiot. FML

#21061598
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37566) - you deserved it (4311)

On 02/15/2014 at 3:51pm - misc - by fuck my goddamn life (man) - United States

Today, I was at a swim meet. I asked my friend if he could be my wingman and help me get a date with a girl I really liked. I told him my plan, and as I finished and turned to go to her, I noticed her standing right there, listening in on the whole conversation. FML

#21055088
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41646) - you deserved it (11997)

On 02/09/2014 at 2:12am - love - by look before you speak - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were quite drunk while we were fooling around on the couch, when I decided I wanted to lose my virginity to her. I was two thrusts in when she burst out laughing. Looking down, I realized I was between her cheeks and the couch cushion. I lost my virginity to her couch. FML

#21053213
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52201) - you deserved it (18498)

On 02/07/2014 at 9:18am - intimacy - by Unknown - United States (Iowa)

Today, it was my first day at my new school. I've never been the new girl before, so I asked my best friend for advice. She said, "Whatever you do, do not, under any circumstances, be yourself." FML

#21029148
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43531) - you deserved it (4993)

On 01/15/2014 at 8:57pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I sang "happy birthday" to my best friend. Sadly, it was while waitressing at work, where they were having a celebration I hadn't been invited to in the first place. FML

#21024621
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50461) - you deserved it (3795)

On 01/11/2014 at 3:26pm - misc - by left out - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was at another long swim-meet, when my daughter shaved 15 seconds off her record swim time. When I asked her how she did it, she replied, "Well someone told me to swim as fast as I can." She's just been taking her time all these years. FML

#20759731
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47565) - you deserved it (5029)

On 07/02/2013 at 12:25pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Vermont)

Today, I decided to try Karate. In an attempt to roundhouse-kick a hanging boxing glove, I knocked over a lamp, lost my balance and pulled down my curtains. My neighbor then looked through the window, started laughing and yelled, "KUNG FO POWA!" FML

#20749220
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25222) - you deserved it (31866)

On 06/26/2013 at 9:57pm - misc - by blahblah (woman) - United States (Texas)



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