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jmarti1024

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jmarti1024

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  • Number of visits : 161
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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jmarti1024's page activity

Visits<b>olpally</b> - the 01/27/2014 at 10:43pm<b>greeneyebeauty9</b> - the 10/20/2013 at 12:22pm<b>Faith13</b> - the 08/20/2013 at 3:23am

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jmarti1024's favorite FMLs

Today, I tried to blink out a small speck of dirt that was caught in my eye. Instead, I learned what it feels like to suffocate a small, angry spider with your eyelid. FML

#21251632
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41329) - you deserved it (3155)

On 09/04/2014 at 2:44am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, my roommate asked for my opinion of her new painting. The same painting I hand-painted for over ten hours. She apparently thought it was a gift. She won't give it back. FML

#21251580
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36372) - you deserved it (2884)

On 09/04/2014 at 12:46am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I begged a coworker to let me borrow her lighter for my smoke break, since I'd lost mine. She was reluctant because of my track record of losing the darn things. After my break I stopped to use the restroom really quick, and promptly dropped the lighter into the toilet. FML

#21251320
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16571) - you deserved it (30768)

On 09/03/2014 at 6:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was working at the daycare. As I left with my boyfriend, a kid came up to us and said that my boyfriend could do way better. FML

#21251155
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35054) - you deserved it (3231)

On 09/03/2014 at 1:40pm - kids - by unlucky - United States (New York)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend with a ring from Kay Jewelers. She saw the box, started giggling, whispered, "'Kay", and then started laughing so hard at her joke she had to excuse herself. FML

#21250887
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41992) - you deserved it (5189)

On 09/02/2014 at 11:18pm - love - by very punny (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was hiking down a steep hill, and I slipped. I instinctively grabbed the nearest object to me: a very prickly cactus. FML

#21249060
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34388) - you deserved it (3135)

On 08/31/2014 at 1:51pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my new boyfriend and I got intimate for the first time. He started whispering in my ear, but I couldn't understand him. He pushed me away and ignored me the rest of the night. Apparently it's a huge turn-off that I can't talk dirty in Klingon. FML

#21246884
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42497) - you deserved it (4916)

On 08/28/2014 at 12:34am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, a guy in my class was talking about himself. He started his story with, "When I was little, I was a ginger." I replied without thinking, "Is that why you got put up for adoption?" Him being adopted was the actual story he wanted to tell. FML

#21246134
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19963) - you deserved it (42177)

On 08/26/2014 at 11:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, as I got out the shower, my mom walked in to give me a towel, then quickly covered her eyes and said, "Woah, I almost saw your penis. Good things it's ridiculously small." I had friends over, and I'm pretty sure I'll hear about this for at least the next month. FML

Today, while my teacher was demonstrating how to use the ultrasound equipment, we all figured out that I'm pregnant. FML

#21245451
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50346) - you deserved it (9700)

On 08/25/2014 at 10:37pm - health - by whotouchedyou1 - United States (Texas)

Today, I was watching the movie Frozen with my 8 year old daughter. I had seen it before, so I sung along with some of the songs. My daughter put a finger over my lips, said "Shhhhhhhhut the fuck up," then turned back to the TV, giggling. FML

#21245090
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36398) - you deserved it (13659)

On 08/25/2014 at 2:05pm - kids - by JackieD (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my sister felt guilty and told me about the changes she secretly made to my résumé months ago. She'd put "doing your mom" and "corporate espionage" as my hobbies, and "Justin Bieber's pussy waxer" as a previous job. No wonder I'm still unemployed. FML

#21244565
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39825) - you deserved it (7244)

On 08/24/2014 at 5:50pm - work - by fuck you, tasha (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I spent six hours at the ER. Why? My husband dared our seventeen-year-old son to recreate a 'Jackass' trolley-hedge diving stunt at the local supermarket. What wasn't on my groceries list was a broken arm, fractured wrist, whiplash and cuts and bruises. FML

#21224521
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40711) - you deserved it (4645)

On 07/30/2014 at 4:21am - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)



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  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

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