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jmar411

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jmar411

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  • Number of visits : 1441
  • Number of comments : 45
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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jmar411's page activity

Visits<b>LissaMccracken</b> - the 06/18/2013 at 11:18am<b>simmyiphone</b> - the 05/27/2013 at 5:33pm<b>dead_insects</b> - the 04/22/2013 at 8:23pm<b>LovesSushi</b> - the 04/18/2013 at 3:54am<b>cosicosei</b> - the 04/05/2013 at 9:33pm<b>lonewolf621</b> - the 04/02/2013 at 3:44pm<b>cliostyle</b> - the 04/02/2013 at 1:52pm<b>dmoran20</b> - the 02/11/2013 at 3:25am<b>Dracospinks</b> - the 02/10/2013 at 5:24pm<b>moksha</b> - the 02/10/2013 at 3:29am<b>sarkaar</b> - the 02/10/2013 at 12:42am<b>Chyl</b> - the 02/09/2013 at 3:58pm

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That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

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jmar411's favorite FMLs

Today, I spotted one of my friends using the ATM outside our school's university center. I crept up behind him, grabbed his shoulders abruptly, and shouted in my best deep man-voice, "Give me all your money!" Turned out to be a poor, unsuspecting freshman. He gave me his money. FML

#1242967
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11105) - you deserved it (67657)

On 04/22/2009 at 10:22pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I got a text from my girlfriend saying she needed more phone credit, so I bought her more and got another message saying "Great, now I have enough credit for this..." as she spelled out a three page message breaking up with me. Yes, I paid for her to break up with me via text. FML

#1219528
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73125) - you deserved it (7396)

On 04/22/2009 at 11:26am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my hamster gave birth. The babies were very cute and I couldn't resist petting one. Apparently touching a baby hamster will cause it's mother to reject and devour it. I am now know in my family as "The Hamster Slaughterer." FML

#1177912
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51065) - you deserved it (23925)

On 04/20/2009 at 11:11pm - animals - by whymommywhy (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for a while, and I was very excited to tell him the news. When I opened his office planning to surprise him with the news, I saw him making out with a man. FML

#1104891
400 comments

I agree, your life sucks (473252) - you deserved it (29134)

On 04/19/2009 at 12:05am - intimacy - by soontobedivorced (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I took one of those IQ tests on the internet. I cheated and still got a 70. FML

#951533
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15501) - you deserved it (72964)

On 04/13/2009 at 2:42pm - misc - by snathans (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was waitressing when a man sat at my table with soda from somewhere else. Drinks are half the profit for restaurants. There is a strict policy that you have to charge for carry-in drinks. I told him this, he yelled at me so I told him I was doing my job. I got fired, for doing my job. FML

#919525
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51850) - you deserved it (3692)

On 04/11/2009 at 10:07pm - work - by waitress (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was bored at my job at Home Depot. I got a bar code tattoo 3 weeks ago and thought it would be funny to scan it. I'm a $5.98 160z claw hammer. FML

#881347
297 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38468) - you deserved it (129157)

On 04/09/2009 at 2:03am - work - by tool (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my mom asked me to look through old VHS tapes to throw away, I found one that said "Ashley's kindergarten Play-'95", I put the tape in, it begins to play, only to see "Days of our lives", "Melrose Place", and "ER". My childhood memories are ranked lower than tv shows. FML

#863008
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53742) - you deserved it (3085)

On 04/07/2009 at 10:53pm - love - by 4gottenmemories (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was walking through Macy's with my girlfriend. I stopped to admire a mannequin's ass, joking with my girlfriend like I was touching it. Then I slapped it. It wasn't a mannequin. FML

#408707
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42498) - you deserved it (191496)

On 03/17/2009 at 6:16am - intimacy - by Noname (man) - United States (California)

Today, my parents were taking a tour of my apartment when my bird started making noises. It was mimicking my moans from when I was having sex yesterday. It was screaming in my voice, very noticeably. FML

#350139
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72642) - you deserved it (27206)

On 03/15/2009 at 6:45pm - intimacy - by Moanie (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, after taping 5-year-olds do a skit at an improv camp, I used the camera's view-finder to zoom in on a female co-worker's chest. Another female co-worker tapped me on the shoulder to show that the TV was still connected to the camera. Parents, kids, and instructors all witnessed it. FML

#310419
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13255) - you deserved it (122878)

On 03/13/2009 at 9:06pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I had my wisdom teeth pulled. There was a cyst behind one of them, and the dentist decided to extract it - except the Novocaine didn't reach that far back. I raised my hand like they said to do, and the dentist looked at me writing in pain and said, "No, you're fine." FML

#255362
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68849) - you deserved it (2773)

On 03/09/2009 at 9:03pm - health - by toothache (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was getting restless in my psychology class. I stretched out both of my arms and hands into the aisles on either side of me, only to find myself with my teacher's package in my palm. FML

#221639
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47124) - you deserved it (10137)

On 03/05/2009 at 9:29pm - misc - by dizzlewizzle - United States (New York)

Today, I was teasing my little brother. Later that night, I went to the bathroom to wash up. While I'm brushing my teeth, my little brother slips a photo under the door that shows him scrubbing my toothbrush against his nuts. FML

#221601
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46429) - you deserved it (25467)

On 03/05/2009 at 9:27pm - misc - by mr.palendrome (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was in spanish class, having a debate about the death penalty. When I went to make a point, I meant to say "La pena de muerte", which means "The death penalty". I said, "La pene de muerte". Turns out that means, "The penis of death". FML

#206263
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26547) - you deserved it (41525)

On 03/04/2009 at 12:42pm - misc - by Señor Guapo (man) - United States (Missouri)



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