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jmar411

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jmar411
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1158
  • Number of comments : 45
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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jmar411's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend of 8 months and I broke up. We decided to give back everything we ever bought for each other. I gave her the stuff she bought me and when I asked for my stuff she said she'd sold it and spent the money on herself. FML

#4492713
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42159) - you deserved it (5824)

On 08/13/2009 at 1:23am - love - by MexyBoy (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got very dressed up and was excited for my uncle's wedding. While standing in line for photos, I heard my dad's voice from behind me say "Who's the hot chick in the brown dress?" My uncle responds "Uh, that's your daughter." Silence. FML

#3967657
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67038) - you deserved it (4059)

On 07/23/2009 at 12:26am - misc - by Rory (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I used a public bathroom. I hung my purse up on the hook on the door. Two minutes later, a hand reaches over the door and steals my purse. I got robbed while taking a crap. FML

#3862614
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41778) - you deserved it (5757)

On 07/18/2009 at 6:32pm - misc - by xobeachbabi428ox - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my friend thought it would be funny to put a pretzel on my forehead while I was sleeping on the beach. I now have a pretzel-shaped tan line in the middle of my head. FML

#3816010
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40153) - you deserved it (8434)

On 07/16/2009 at 10:28pm - misc - by joe1234 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my friend thought it would be funny to put a pretzel on my forehead while I was sleeping on the beach. I now have a pretzel-shaped tan line in the middle of my head. FML

#3816010
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40153) - you deserved it (8434)

On 07/16/2009 at 10:28pm - misc - by joe1234 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had been planning a family trip for months. My father had all his bags packed, ready to go in the car. He had my grandmother's ashes in his suitcase, and planned to spread them on a mountain. This morning our car was broken into and everything was stolen. The thief stole my grandma. FML

#3468815
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54449) - you deserved it (2746)

On 07/04/2009 at 12:04am - misc - by noyodel (woman) - Italy

Today, I saw myself in a 'girls gone wild' ad with another girl. So did my mom. FML

#2987164
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22835) - you deserved it (105452)

On 06/18/2009 at 3:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I got a meat pie for lunch. I bit into it and felt something hard. I spat it out. It was a tooth. I checked my mouth in a panic and discovered, with mixed feelings of relief and horror, that the tooth wasn’t mine. FML

#2855395
406 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77003) - you deserved it (3480)

On 06/13/2009 at 11:13am - misc - by Toothy_Peg (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was babysitting. I was sitting on the sofa when I felt that I need to ajust my sitting arangment. After moving, I felt a small toy snap under me. The little boy said it was fine. One hour later he snuck up on me and beat me with an umbrella for breaking his toy. FML

#2621619
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43827) - you deserved it (9768)

On 06/05/2009 at 1:25am - kids - by KPKallery (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I meant to express to my friends that I was enamored with a young saleswoman I had encountered at a store. I wanted to tell them that she was quite petite and that I am, in general, attracted to petite women. Instead I said "You know? I like little girls." FML

#2556869
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15122) - you deserved it (43846)

On 06/03/2009 at 1:23am - love - by boinger (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to put my laptop on a desk when I got a text message. I was startled by my ringtone and dropped my laptop on the ground. It now has dent marks on the bottom. The text message was from an annoying friend simply saying "I'm eating a hot dog." FML

#2473573
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39436) - you deserved it (12216)

On 05/31/2009 at 6:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shirt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on your daughter's face last night." I ran into my girlfriend's parents at the store. FML

#2244608
452 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34479) - you deserved it (113974)

On 05/24/2009 at 3:50pm - misc - by helloitsbrian6969 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I celebrated my birthday with my family. As part of my presents, my parents gave me prepaid debit card. When I got home, I looked at it again and realized it's the debit card you get from selling back books to our university bookstore. I bought my own books this year. They gave me my own refund. FML

#2039124
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39617) - you deserved it (2294)

On 05/18/2009 at 12:48am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML

#2026481
435 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28756) - you deserved it (133742)

On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had my high school reunion. The nerdy guy that I picked on all 4 years had married a Swedish supermodel, then divorced her for a Brazilian supermodel. My girlfriend works at 7-11. Karma sucks. FML

#2019724
626 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22018) - you deserved it (253283)

On 05/17/2009 at 4:16pm - misc - by karmasabitch (man) - United States (New York)



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