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jmar411

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jmar411
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1152
  • Number of comments : 45
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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jmar411's favorite FMLs

Today, water turned to wine. That is, my brother put wine in my hamster's water bottle. Very bad idea. FML

#8873623
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17508) - you deserved it (1831)

On 03/06/2010 at 5:44pm - misc - by Lucy (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was walking past a group of old men exiting a building. All of a sudden, I heard a strange splashing sound, and discovered one of the completely inebriated men walking behind me, pissing on my boots. I sped up, but so did he, and he didn't miss once until he was done. FML

#8658955
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22112) - you deserved it (2385)

On 02/26/2010 at 6:17am - misc - by cman (man) - Romania (Iasi)

Today, my dog barked for 30 minutes with me yelling for him to shut up. Guess that's how long it takes someone to steal the rims from my truck. Good dog. FML

#8471153
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5831) - you deserved it (33536)

On 02/20/2010 at 5:36am - animals - by rimjob - United States

Today, my pet rat had babies. We've only ever owned one rat. FML

#8341933
376 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21082) - you deserved it (4258)

On 02/16/2010 at 3:48pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my dog farted next to my CPAP sleep/breathing machine. The machine sucked up her fart, compressed it, and promptly injected it up both of my nostrils. FML

#8202300
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34617) - you deserved it (3109)

On 02/13/2010 at 11:08am - animals - by Dog fart - United States

Today, my dog farted next to my CPAP sleep/breathing machine. The machine sucked up her fart, compressed it, and promptly injected it up both of my nostrils. FML

#8202300
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34617) - you deserved it (3109)

On 02/13/2010 at 11:08am - animals - by Dog fart - United States

Today, I was feeling hungry, so I went to the kitchen to get a bowl of cereal. I found hundreds of weevils festering in my Lucky Charms. FML

#7937291
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20503) - you deserved it (3597)

On 02/06/2010 at 1:48pm - misc - by annony-moose - Sent from mobile version

Today, I spent 3 hours in my home recording studio. I was recording vocals and was trying to hit a very hard series of notes. I nailed it after 2 hours and listened. You can hear the vocals, but the EQ settings were tweaked in just the right way where you can hear my dog licking his nuts. FML

#7490681
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20905) - you deserved it (4595)

On 01/22/2010 at 12:08am - animals - by Parental (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I crossed a one-way street after looking for oncoming traffic only to be hit by a car driving in reverse. FML

#6975608
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30224) - you deserved it (4766)

On 12/27/2009 at 3:48pm - misc - by Davios - United States

Today, I was at work at Hollywood Video. A guy came in and left without renting anything. Minutes later, I find human feces between the "Kids" and "Comedy" aisles. FML

#6840782
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27037) - you deserved it (1668)

On 12/20/2009 at 1:32am - work - by Van (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I looked at my house in Google Street View for the first time and noticed an unfamiliar vehicle in the driveway. When I asked my wife about it, she admitted to have an ongoing affair. Apparently the entire world knew my wife was having an affair before I did. FML

#6808651
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31423) - you deserved it (1909)

On 12/18/2009 at 9:31am - love - by cheaters_should_die (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my friends and I went to court. We are all college students, and for next semester, we will be on probation and have to do 8 hours of community service, as well as a $25 fine each. All for swinging on swings in the park after dark. FML

Today, I was attending a drug-free lecture at school. The speaker said, "There are many ways to quit smoking. You can try patches, gum, or even quitting cold turkey. Any questions?" I raised my hand, and she called on me. I asked, "How does cold turkey help?" And then I realized. FML

#6683898
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6574) - you deserved it (31474)

On 12/09/2009 at 7:53pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at 4am, I remembered that I had not studied for my Spanish exam. I panicked, jumped out of bed, and frantically began searching for my notebook. It wasn't until I destroyed my desk and woke up my roommate that I realized that I'm not enrolled in Spanish this semester. It was a nightmare. FML

#6537885
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29469) - you deserved it (8483)

On 11/30/2009 at 7:19pm - misc - by Stressmess - United States (Vermont)

Today, I went hiking with my friend. We both had to pee really bad. We went to the edge of a cliff to "relieve ourselves". He peed and it came and hit me in the face, he did it on purpose. So, I decided to get him back and peed at him. The wind changed direction and hit me in the face again. FML

#6517380
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12057) - you deserved it (35146)

On 11/29/2009 at 5:53pm - misc - by Harry (man) - United States (California)



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