jmar411

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jmar411

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2763
  • Number of comments : 45
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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jmar411's page activity

Visits<b>LissaMccracken</b> - the 06/18/2013 at 11:18am<b>simmyiphone</b> - the 05/27/2013 at 5:33pm<b>dead_insects</b> - the 04/22/2013 at 8:23pm<b>LovesSushi</b> - the 04/18/2013 at 3:54am<b>cosicosei</b> - the 04/05/2013 at 9:33pm<b>lonewolf621</b> - the 04/02/2013 at 3:44pm<b>cliostyle</b> - the 04/02/2013 at 1:52pm<b>dmoran20</b> - the 02/11/2013 at 3:25am<b>Dracospinks</b> - the 02/10/2013 at 5:24pm<b>sarkaar</b> - the 02/10/2013 at 12:42am<b>Chyl</b> - the 02/09/2013 at 3:58pm

jmar411's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of jmar411's badges

jmar411's favorite FMLs

Today, I was waiting for the bus while wearing my FML shirt. A passer-by stopped, stared at me for a moment, and said, "I agree, your life sucks." FML

by Danou / 03/28/2011 at 9:51am / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up after a night out drinking on my sofa, with an electric dog collar around my neck and handcuffs on my wrists. The keys were on the other side of the invisible doggy fence. FML

by stupiddrunk / 02/28/2011 at 8:10pm / United Kingdom (London) / Health

Today, my mum got an electric car. It's so quiet that we could hear the bones of my cat break as we reversed over it on the driveway. FML

by flattened / 02/10/2011 at 5:58am / Animals

Today, while in my room sleeping, my little brother deemed it necessary to come in and drop a book on my face. When I sat up with a now bloody nose, he looked at me, pointed, and said "You've just been facebooked" and ran away giggling. FML

by Malakai / 02/02/2011 at 12:57am / United States / Kids

Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend. I started to come, screaming, "Ah... ah... ah... AHH!" To which he added, "Staying alive! Staying alive!" FML

by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 1:24am / France / Intimacy

Today, I tried to email my Dad a picture of someone we knew that I'd found on the Internet. He called me later to inform me that I had actually sent him a picture of myself in a naughty school girl outfit that I'd taken for my husband. My mom was laughing her ass off. FML

by Anonymous / 01/10/2011 at 3:55pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, I realized that not only did my parents not get me anything for Christmas, they also stole the $500 my grandparents gave me to buy a computer. FML

by Anonymous / 12/27/2010 at 2:51pm / Estonia (Harjumaa) / Money

Today, I realized that every day without fail, the muffins I've been making and giving to my husband for work have been hitting speeding cars' windshields. FML

by muffdriver / 12/26/2010 at 10:47am / United States (New Jersey) / Transportation

Today, I took my two kids to a Christmas festival with a train theme. I spent $24 on conductor hats for them. When I gave them the hats, they threw them on the ground and put the red paper bags they came in on their heads. FML

by Anonymous / 12/21/2010 at 8:15pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, my car heater finally died. I deliver pizzas. In Alaska. FML

by Anonymous / 12/17/2010 at 12:30pm / United States (Alaska) / Work

Today, I was driving with my dog. Looking out the half-open window he stepped on the switch, the window went up, causing his head to get stuck. I looked down and he had scared the shit out of himself, all over my shirt. FML

by fufu_mutt / 12/14/2010 at 11:24pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Animals

Today, my six year old told me I have a big nose. When I told her that she hurt my feelings, she laughed and said "Don't be silly mummy, ugly people don't have feelings." FML

by uglywoman / 12/14/2010 at 3:21am / Australia (Queensland) / Kids

Today, I picked up my friend's new kitten so enthusiastically I scared it and it shat all over me. I literally scared the shit out of it. FML

by elliekilroy / 12/10/2010 at 7:12pm / United Kingdom (Monmouthshire) / Animals

Today, I sent a picture to my girlfriend of my erect penis with a quote saying "It's waiting for you." She responded with a picture of her left hand showing her left ring finger with a quote saying "It's waiting for you too." FML

by Anonymous / 12/07/2010 at 1:32pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I felt like adding my real middle name to my facebook name to make it look more professional. It was denied because they didn't feel it was a legitimate request. Minutes later, someone with the name of "Galactic Toast" friend requested me. FML

by Anonymous / 12/01/2010 at 2:35pm / United States / Geek