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jmann8811

Offline (the 06/29/2015 at 1:54am) | Search for a member

jmann8811

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 4 April 1997 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 694
  • Number of comments : 28
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About jmann8811 : $.B.Q.
Instagram King_Jay_97

jmann8811's page activity

Visits<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 8:22am<b>NarutoLove</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 5:50pm<b>luvu12346</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 10:15am<b>jadeluv</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 2:55pm<b>jazlyn13</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 3:37pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 11:35pm<b>Abbey1598</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 12:16am<b>umerin</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 2:53am<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 12:09am<b>Tbear11</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 11:28am<b>brookenicolee29</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 1:32pm<b>jellybeens</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 2:02am<b>toasty_narwals</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 9:06pm<b>tournamentdecide</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 9:12pm<b>DallyMan94</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 11:31pm<b>BabyFranco</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 5:00pm<b>Lct1196</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 11:35am<b>morondon000</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 1:37am

jmann8811's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

See all of jmann8811's badges

jmann8811's favorite FMLs

Today, I looked my boyfriend in the eyes and said "I love y-" He cut me off with, "Babe, a blowjob's worth a thousand words" and held eye contact until I awkwardly excused myself. FML

#21361029
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33852) - you deserved it (3873)

On 02/22/2015 at 12:31pm - intimacy - by bugger -

Today, I went to see the school counselor to schedule my classes for school. She asked me if I knew how to speak English. My parents are Chinese and I don't even know how to speak Chinese. I've lived in America my whole life. Plus, I even spoke to her in English to ask about classes. FML

#21200980
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44562) - you deserved it (3474)

On 07/06/2014 at 9:27pm - work - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out that the loving nickname my Chinese mother has been calling me my entire life essentially translates to "little retard". FML

#21185495
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51292) - you deserved it (5714)

On 06/23/2014 at 3:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while at a restaurant with my husband for our 4-year anniversary, he kept behaving strangely, breathing deeply and eventually sighing happily. I thought the wine had just gone to his head. Nope; he proudly admitted later that he'd jerked off without anyone noticing, even me. FML

#21126320
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45751) - you deserved it (5209)

On 04/29/2014 at 2:48pm - misc - by god (woman) - United Kingdom (West Lothian)

Today, I was babysitting my nephew and we decided to color together. He drew a picture of someone who looked dead, almost zombie-like, while everyone else looked pretty normal. When I asked who it was, he said in a serious, scary voice, "It's you." FML

#21088838
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36677) - you deserved it (3794)

On 03/17/2014 at 5:51am - kids - by BondingTime - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I started my first job as a power line technician. My boss's first words to me were, "I have a good feeling about you, kid!" That would've been great if he hadn't said, "Although, the last time I had a good feeling, the guy died." right afterwards. FML

#21085148
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42319) - you deserved it (3450)

On 03/12/2014 at 8:11pm - work - by Anon - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Devastated, I told my dad about it, hoping he'd help cheer me up. His advice was, "Just rub one out son, you'll feel better in no time." Thanks dad. FML

#21070515
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44223) - you deserved it (6241)

On 02/24/2014 at 5:22pm - intimacy - by Author (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. My hand-eye coordination went straight to hell and I managed to accidentally smack my nose into his penis. He told all his friends about it, and I'm apparently now known as Woodpecker. FML

#21054451
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52443) - you deserved it (10344)

On 02/08/2014 at 1:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I decided to ask the guy I like if he'll be my Valentine. I wrote the question on a piece of paper and passed it to him, trying to be cute. He read it, wrote his answer with a smile, and passed it back. It said, "Depends, do you swallow?" No, no I don't. FML

#21053668
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44253) - you deserved it (9489)

On 02/07/2014 at 7:18pm - love - by mariana (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I'm a little over a month pregnant. My fiancé has decided that if we both act like I'm not pregnant, "the baby will get the hint and go away". FML

#21050194
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54819) - you deserved it (6738)

On 02/04/2014 at 9:50am - kids - by LadyDeadpool88 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was going to have sex, so I went to my basement to get my builder bear that I had stuffed my condoms in. The bear was gone. My dad gave it to charity. 5ML

#21037839
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46397) - you deserved it (16796)

On 01/24/2014 at 12:32am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was playing with my little nephew and began to tickle him playfully, even though I know he doesn't like to be tickled. When I was done, he looked me straight in the eye, punched me in the groin, and told me, "No one tickles me". He's six. FML

#21034458
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27266) - you deserved it (42016)

On 01/20/2014 at 10:34pm - kids - by Ginger_Gawd - United States (Florida)

Today, as I was taking out the trash, I spotted my cute neighbor doing the same. In a rush to get out before he went back inside, I slipped on my iced-over porch. I passed out and woke up with a note on my chest saying, "I unlocked your door but you were too heavy to drag inside". FML

#21027337
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46980) - you deserved it (7330)

On 01/14/2014 at 1:48am - misc - by rholt (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my husband and I decided to have a quickie before the kids woke up from their nap. The sex was amazing and I couldn't hold in my screams or not hit the wall. About 15 minutes in, both of our children came busting in with their nerf guns, screaming, "Where's the monster?" FML

#21025946
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53816) - you deserved it (32593)

On 01/12/2014 at 8:53pm - intimacy - by anon (woman) - United States (Arizona)



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