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jku

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jku
  • Town/Country : United States
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 522
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 28 posted

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jku's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up face-down in my grandfather's driveway, soaking wet with no pants, glitter in my hair, and holding an empty Skippy peanut butter jar. No one will tell me what happened. FML

#16258570
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31549) - you deserved it (19667)

On 05/19/2011 at 9:38pm - misc - by Devon (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I had diarrhea in a public bathroom. When I was finished, I noticed that someone had pissed all over the toilet paper. FML

#15630869
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38508) - you deserved it (4004)

On 04/04/2011 at 1:26am - health - by Anonymous -

TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML

#15415559
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34819) - you deserved it (30430)

On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, I woke up at 3am to go to work. This will be my new routine from now on. FML

#14798010
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25471) - you deserved it (8459)

On 02/01/2011 at 3:14pm - work - by yawning - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my extremely lazy roommate is in bed with the flu. Instead of getting up to get water, he's run the garden hose through his window, and instead of going to the bathroom, he's connected a siphon to his penis and run it to a 5-gallon bucket. I have to live with this idiot. FML

#14626510
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26340) - you deserved it (3608)

On 01/18/2011 at 1:35pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, after my marching band's performance, the girls had to change out of our uniforms in a very dark school bathroom. Someone turned on the lights and I realized that more than a dozen roaches had crawled into my skinny jeans. FML

#13389421
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28248) - you deserved it (2726)

On 10/10/2010 at 4:45am - misc - by toazt - United States (Arizona)

Today, I saw a bad car wreck. I pulled over and ran to the car to find an unconscious man behind the wheel. Another car pulled up, and a guy got out. I was relieved to have help, until, to my horror, he started trying to hit on me. I was stuck with him until the ambulance arrived. FML

#13056738
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24503) - you deserved it (2700)

On 09/15/2010 at 12:15am - love - by badtiming (woman) - United States

Today, I had to catch a shuttle bus. I awoke to the sound of a car horn. I ran out in my boxers and saw a bus take off down the road. I chased it, thinking I had missed my bus. I realized I hadn't only when I saw frightened kids in the back of the bus. FML

#8751170
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5320) - you deserved it (13271)

On 03/01/2010 at 5:04pm - work - by militiousroflcopter (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was hit on by a guy who decided to use the line, "My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in." FML

#6748934
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30894) - you deserved it (3881)

On 12/14/2009 at 4:05am - love - by luckygirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my 50-year-old mother borrowed my denim miniskirt to go to the bar. In return, she offered to let me borrow her red "f*** me" pumps whenever I needed them. FML

#4061190
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33200) - you deserved it (2147)

On 07/26/2009 at 7:51pm - misc - by mvp (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I opened my lunch in front of my friends at university. I had a note in my lunch from my mother that said "Have a good day sweetie! - Love mom". I wrote that note, and put it in my lunch to impress my friends. FML

#3613021
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17677) - you deserved it (58503)

On 07/09/2009 at 2:50pm - misc - by sadlife (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while I was working a customer notified me that the men's restroom need some attention. Thinking that there was just a small mess, I walked into the restroom only to discover someone had taken a crap in the sink. Guess who got to clean it. FML

#3203701
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42953) - you deserved it (2582)

On 06/25/2009 at 12:22pm - work - by KP (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, the cute boy in my biology class I had been crushing on invited me over to study for a huge test. Once I got to his house, I really had to use the bathroom. I ended ending up taking a huge dump and clogging up his toilet. He had to come plunge it for me. FML

#261901
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67831) - you deserved it (21041)

On 03/10/2009 at 4:42pm - love - by musicaddict (woman) - United States (Texas)



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