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jku's favorite FMLs
by Devon / 05/19/2011 at 9:38pm / United States (Vermont) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm / United Kingdom (Wiltshire) / Geek
by yawning / 02/01/2011 at 3:14pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Work
Today, my extremely lazy roommate is in bed with the flu. Instead of getting up to get water, he's run the garden hose through his window, and instead of going to the bathroom, he's connected a siphon to his penis and run it to a 5-gallon bucket. I have to live with this idiot. FML
by Anonymous / 01/18/2011 at 1:35pm / United States (Virginia) / Health
by Anonymous / 01/01/2011 at 12:29am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
Today, after my marching band's performance, the girls had to change out of our uniforms in a very dark school bathroom. Someone turned on the lights and I realized that more than a dozen roaches had crawled into my skinny jeans. FML
by toazt / 10/10/2010 at 4:45am / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous
Today, I saw a bad car wreck. I pulled over and ran to the car to find an unconscious man behind the wheel. Another car pulled up, and a guy got out. I was relieved to have help, until, to my horror, he started trying to hit on me. I was stuck with him until the ambulance arrived. FML
by badtiming / 09/15/2010 at 12:15am / United States / Love
by human torch / 03/18/2010 at 11:22am / United States / Health
Today, I had to catch a shuttle bus. I awoke to the sound of a car horn. I ran out in my boxers and saw a bus take off down the road. I chased it, thinking I had missed my bus. I realized I hadn't only when I saw frightened kids in the back of the bus. FML
by militiousroflcopter / 03/01/2010 at 5:04pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work
by luckygirl / 12/14/2009 at 4:05am / United States (California) / Love
by mvp / 07/26/2009 at 7:51pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I opened my lunch in front of my friends at university. I had a note in my lunch from my mother that said "Have a good day sweetie! - Love mom". I wrote that note, and put it in my lunch to impress my friends. FML
by sadlife / 07/09/2009 at 2:50pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, while I was working a customer notified me that the men's restroom need some attention. Thinking that there was just a small mess, I walked into the restroom only to discover someone had taken a crap in the sink. Guess who got to clean it. FML
by KP / 06/25/2009 at 12:22pm / United States (Texas) / Work
Today, the cute boy in my biology class I had been crushing on invited me over to study for a huge test. Once I got to his house, I really had to use the bathroom. I ended ending up taking a huge dump and clogging up his toilet. He had to come plunge it for me. FML
by musicaddict / 03/10/2009 at 4:42pm / United States (Texas) / Love