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jku's favorite FMLs
by shea234 / 02/20/2012 at 11:19am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Jayde / 02/04/2012 at 12:12am / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, I happened to make eye contact with a stranger standing on a balcony of the apartment building across the train tracks from mine. He ran his finger across his neck like a knife and winked at me. I'm afraid to go out again. FML
by Dani / 01/12/2012 at 5:35am / Australia / Miscellaneous
Today, I looked into my sink's garbage disposal for the first time since I moved in two months ago. Apparently, the putrid smell was not the food I've been throwing down it, but instead, a now what appears to be mutilated litter of rats. FML
by RatFailure / 01/11/2012 at 12:23am / United States / Miscellaneous
by barface / 01/10/2012 at 9:52pm / United States (Texas) / Health
by student414 / 01/10/2012 at 12:15pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Geek
by liLbob6598 / 01/09/2012 at 9:34pm / United States (South Carolina) / Miscellaneous
by Jman6295 / 01/07/2012 at 7:12pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/06/2012 at 9:22pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health
Today, I decided to write a romantic email to my boyfriend describing how much I love and miss him. An hour later, I got an email back saying, "I think we need to discuss this." It seems I sent it to my teacher by mistake. FML
by mjbx / 01/01/2012 at 2:02pm / United Kingdom (Peterborough) / Love
by Anonymous / 12/31/2011 at 3:44am / United States (California) / Animals
Today, my boyfriend took me on a surprise date to an expensive restaurant. After the meal, he got down on his knee and proposed. We've only been dating for two weeks, so I said no. He just silently kept staring me in the eyes, no matter what I said or did. I ended up having to walk home. FML
by Storm / 09/22/2011 at 11:05pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by JJAnd / 08/28/2011 at 2:37am / United States (Arizona) / Love
Today, thanks to my wife's confession, I found out that the 14 year old child I've raised since I was 16 isn't related to me at all. But at least this narrows the real father down to one of three other guys. FML
by candie / 08/26/2011 at 10:10pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
by Anonymous / 08/25/2011 at 12:24am / United States (California) / Health
- Today, my boyfriend questioned why I always put my shirts in the dryer right before wearing them. I… Today, I was going to have sex, so I went to my basement to get my builder bear that I had stuffed… Today, at work, I had a crease in my pants. Everyone thought I had a boner. Later in the day, when…