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jku

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jku
  • Town/Country : United States
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 517
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 28 posted

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jku's favorite FMLs

Today, I tried to find myself a friend on Craigslist. FML

#19122192
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18931) - you deserved it (6741)

On 02/20/2012 at 11:19am - misc - by shea234 - United States

Today, I received a single, hand-made Valentine's card from the weirdest kid in the school. It said, "If you ever get mauled by a bear, I hope he doesn't damage your face." FML

#18988741
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24594) - you deserved it (4850)

On 02/04/2012 at 12:12am - love - by Jayde - United States (Texas)

Today, I happened to make eye contact with a stranger standing on a balcony of the apartment building across the train tracks from mine. He ran his finger across his neck like a knife and winked at me. I'm afraid to go out again. FML

#18782915
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26204) - you deserved it (2042)

On 01/12/2012 at 5:35am - misc - by Dani - Australia

Today, I looked into my sink's garbage disposal for the first time since I moved in two months ago. Apparently, the putrid smell was not the food I've been throwing down it, but instead, a now what appears to be mutilated litter of rats. FML

#18772081
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25493) - you deserved it (3048)

On 01/11/2012 at 12:23am - misc - by RatFailure (woman) - United States

Today, while very sick, throwing up in a bucket beside my bed, my dad came in pushed my face into the bucket. For a laugh apparently. FML

#18770339
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27967) - you deserved it (2104)

On 01/10/2012 at 9:52pm - health - by barface - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to my first class of the semester. After an hour of intense note writing, I realized I was in the wrong class. FML

#18766012
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17528) - you deserved it (25232)

On 01/10/2012 at 12:15pm - work - by student414 (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I received a string of blank texts from an unknown number. When I asked who it was, I got a list of every place I've been over the last three days. I'm scared to leave the house. FML

#18760852
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38844) - you deserved it (2037)

On 01/09/2012 at 9:34pm - misc - by liLbob6598 - United States (South Carolina)

Today, while helping my father build a shelf, I suggested that we should probably use the instruction manual. He suggested I should probably shut the fuck up and do it his way. FML

#18738481
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24039) - you deserved it (13185)

On 01/07/2012 at 7:12pm - misc - by Jman6295 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was cooking with super hot ghost peppers. The package said "After handling them not to touch your eyes, nose or pets". They should've added "penis" to that list. FML

#18729935
363 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10378) - you deserved it (50669)

On 01/06/2012 at 9:22pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I decided to write a romantic email to my boyfriend describing how much I love and miss him. An hour later, I got an email back saying, "I think we need to discuss this." It seems I sent it to my teacher by mistake. FML

#18675253
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23599) - you deserved it (10375)

On 01/01/2012 at 2:02pm - love - by mjbx (woman) - United Kingdom (Peterborough)

Today, my favorite fish died. To make things better my parents thought to take me out to dinner. We ate sushi. FML

#18661224
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24488) - you deserved it (5713)

On 12/31/2011 at 3:44am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend took me on a surprise date to an expensive restaurant. After the meal, he got down on his knee and proposed. We've only been dating for two weeks, so I said no. He just silently kept staring me in the eyes, no matter what I said or did. I ended up having to walk home. FML

#17809445
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28093) - you deserved it (4860)

On 09/22/2011 at 11:05pm - love - by Storm (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up at 7am next to the man I swore I'd never get intimate with again. After trying to get back to sleep despite my shame and disgust, he ripped the loudest fart ever. FML

#17601830
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8478) - you deserved it (40368)

On 08/28/2011 at 2:37am - love - by JJAnd (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, thanks to my wife's confession, I found out that the 14 year old child I've raised since I was 16 isn't related to me at all. But at least this narrows the real father down to one of three other guys. FML

#17589852
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36262) - you deserved it (3421)

On 08/26/2011 at 10:10pm - kids - by candie - United States (Texas)

Today, life gave me lemons, delivering them straight to my nuts via my neighbor's tennis ball shooter. FML

#17573986
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19417) - you deserved it (1655)

On 08/25/2011 at 12:24am - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

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  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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