This member hasn't filled in their description.
jku's FML badges
You subsequently gave feedback by commenting on an FML that you’d submitted and was published.
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
One ring to rule them all
You submitted an FML that was successfully published on the website. This makes you an exceptional human being.
jku's favorite FMLs
Today, I handed in the answer sheet an hour into a 3-hour long exam because I couldn't answer most of the questions. Now, everyone thinks I'm genius because I "finished" quickly and they want me to tutor them. FML
by idontknowwhatiamdoing / 04/15/2014 at 12:35am / Canada (Ontario) / Work
Today, my neighbor asked to come over and use my laptop. She showed up drunk, grabbed my boobs, and asked if I'd ever had a lesbian experience. We both have husbands and kids; the kids were in the room. FML
by freakedout / 04/10/2014 at 10:32pm / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy
Today, I had to take a drug test for a new job. I ended up spilling the cup of pee all over myself. I had to explain what had happened, then go sit in a waiting room full of disgusted-looking people, while I kept drinking water to fill my bladder back up. FML
by Anonymous / 04/05/2014 at 7:16pm / United States (Iowa) / Work
Today, I placed an order at a fast food joint, when the elderly lady behind me cussed me out for ordering the same thing she wanted. She ranted that I was a "dirty thief", while everyone else glared at me as if I was holding up the line. What the fuck? FML
by dirtythief / 07/18/2013 at 12:01pm / Philippines (Batangas) / Miscellaneous
by coldstar / 07/18/2013 at 5:06am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Animals
by muffin / 07/16/2013 at 8:01am / Austria / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/11/2013 at 1:08pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Wtf / 07/10/2013 at 1:24am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, I turned 29. To celebrate, my office got me a cake that read "Happy 38th!!" The "theme" of the "party" was 'Not a day over 35!' I waited all day for someone to tell me it was all a prank, but nobody did. I spent my lunch hour crying in my car. Happy birthday to me. FML
by Not a day over 35 / 06/18/2013 at 9:06am / United States (Alaska) / Work
Today, the girl I went on an awkward date with two weeks ago showed up at university and started smashing my car with a bat. She then broke down in tears and alternated between declaring her love, and cussing me out for "cheating" on her. FML
by Anonymous / 08/31/2012 at 8:49pm / Australia (Queensland) / Love
by alix / 08/24/2012 at 11:45am / United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire) / Animals
by lazy pregnant girl / 07/05/2012 at 3:34pm / United States / Work
Today, I walked into my roommate's room to ask him a question, only to see a pitcher with over a pint of urine in it sitting on his bookcase. This is at least the fifth conversation in a year I've had with him about not peeing in containers in his room. FML
by notestojenn / 07/04/2012 at 10:55pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Miscellaneous
Today, my dad got drunk and played a practical joke on me; a practical joke that resulted in my knee being broken. Now, I'm sitting in a hospital bed all alone while my dad hunts for "hot nurses". FML
by justhelpful / 07/02/2012 at 1:44pm / Austria (Tirol) / Health
by Anonymous / 03/06/2012 at 11:03pm / United States (Florida) / Animals
- Today, I was told I'd need thousand-pound surgery to correct my spinal issue. Tomorrow, my medical… Today, I was minding my own business, when I decided to read in the living room. My father began to… Today, my boyfriend made a day trip see me at my university. My roommate wasn't there so we decided…