jku

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Offline (the 05/13/2014 at 9:14am)

jku

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 1354
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 29 posted

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jku's page activity

Visits<b>wrock84</b> - the 09/18/2016 at 12:30am<b>saucybugger101</b> - the 07/15/2016 at 8:20pm<b>nevaryzarc</b> - the 05/19/2016 at 5:43am<b>ScratchCatPower</b> - the 04/10/2016 at 11:18am<b>2C0OL4SCH0OL</b> - the 12/07/2015 at 11:02am<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 09/04/2015 at 3:33am<b>BlackHawkSavior</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 2:36pm<b>MdMan2</b> - the 06/06/2015 at 1:49pm<b>jelly_bennett</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 12:00am<b>PickledSweets</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 4:45am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 3:21pm<b>Chilupa</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 1:54am<b>Epickiller</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 8:14pm<b>ButterflyHaze</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 8:06pm<b>ecot95</b> - the 04/21/2014 at 3:48pm<b>klisterable</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 5:34am<b>Ranch_Dressing</b> - the 03/16/2014 at 7:31pm<b>Robbieisadowg</b> - the 11/05/2013 at 7:25pm

Fucked!<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 09/04/2015 at 9:33am<b>BlackHawkSavior</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 8:37pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 9:21pm

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jku's favorite FMLs

Today, I handed in the answer sheet an hour into a 3-hour long exam because I couldn't answer most of the questions. Now, everyone thinks I'm genius because I "finished" quickly and they want me to tutor them. FML

by idontknowwhatiamdoing / 04/15/2014 at 12:35am / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, my neighbor asked to come over and use my laptop. She showed up drunk, grabbed my boobs, and asked if I'd ever had a lesbian experience. We both have husbands and kids; the kids were in the room. FML

by freakedout / 04/10/2014 at 10:32pm / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy

Today, I had to take a drug test for a new job. I ended up spilling the cup of pee all over myself. I had to explain what had happened, then go sit in a waiting room full of disgusted-looking people, while I kept drinking water to fill my bladder back up. FML

by Anonymous / 04/05/2014 at 7:16pm / United States (Iowa) / Work

Today, I placed an order at a fast food joint, when the elderly lady behind me cussed me out for ordering the same thing she wanted. She ranted that I was a "dirty thief", while everyone else glared at me as if I was holding up the line. What the fuck? FML

by dirtythief / 07/18/2013 at 12:01pm / Philippines (Batangas) / Miscellaneous

Today, one of my cats gave birth. My other cat responded by eating the new litter in a jealous rage, then got indigestion and vomited. I had to clean up regurgitated kittens. FML

by coldstar / 07/18/2013 at 5:06am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I baked strawberry muffins for my family, putting half a strawberry on each of them. Only when it was too late did I realize that they looked like extremely creepy breasts. FML

by muffin / 07/16/2013 at 8:01am / Austria / Miscellaneous

Today, I was eating a corndog, when my boyfriend jokingly told me to "take it deeper". I did, and ended up choking and throwing up all over the table. FML

by Anonymous / 07/11/2013 at 1:08pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a message from my brother on Facebook that read, "They're watching you." This wouldn't have been such a big deal if he hadn't been dead for two years. FML

by Wtf / 07/10/2013 at 1:24am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I turned 29. To celebrate, my office got me a cake that read "Happy 38th!!" The "theme" of the "party" was 'Not a day over 35!' I waited all day for someone to tell me it was all a prank, but nobody did. I spent my lunch hour crying in my car. Happy birthday to me. FML

by Not a day over 35 / 06/18/2013 at 9:06am / United States (Alaska) / Work

Today, the girl I went on an awkward date with two weeks ago showed up at university and started smashing my car with a bat. She then broke down in tears and alternated between declaring her love, and cussing me out for "cheating" on her. FML

by Anonymous / 08/31/2012 at 8:49pm / Australia (Queensland) / Love

Today, my dog was diagnosed with depression. I got him to help with my depression. I guess we can just be miserable together. FML

by alix / 08/24/2012 at 11:45am / United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire) / Animals

Today, my boyfriend told me that because he works fifty hours a week, I should be meeting an arbitrary quota of fifty hours of housework, and if I don't, I'm insensitive and ungrateful. FML

by lazy pregnant girl / 07/05/2012 at 3:34pm / United States / Work

Today, I walked into my roommate's room to ask him a question, only to see a pitcher with over a pint of urine in it sitting on his bookcase. This is at least the fifth conversation in a year I've had with him about not peeing in containers in his room. FML

by notestojenn / 07/04/2012 at 10:55pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad got drunk and played a practical joke on me; a practical joke that resulted in my knee being broken. Now, I'm sitting in a hospital bed all alone while my dad hunts for "hot nurses". FML

by justhelpful / 07/02/2012 at 1:44pm / Austria (Tirol) / Health

Today, I had to bury my horse again because coyotes keep digging it up. FML

by Anonymous / 03/06/2012 at 11:03pm / United States (Florida) / Animals