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Offline (the 06/26/2016 at 1:08pm)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1732
  • Number of comments : 74
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 29 posted

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jkp1291's page activity

Visits<b>Vintage_Cola</b> - the 06/14/2016 at 2:12am<b>URBeingLied2</b> - the 05/28/2016 at 12:53am<b>TheGamingGamer</b> - the 05/25/2016 at 4:43pm<b>dimos4ever</b> - the 04/05/2016 at 6:40pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 12:10am<b>Fanimotronic</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 8:12am<b>metallicsounds</b> - the 01/13/2016 at 6:55am<b>brutally</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 4:19am<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 10:48pm<b>raven83</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 7:48pm<b>edmunson</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 1:10am<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 10:55am<b>syki</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 5:50am<b>Thoricsteam20</b> - the 12/11/2015 at 3:49pm<b>countryb_cth</b> - the 12/10/2015 at 3:58pm<b>KagamineRinny</b> - the 12/09/2015 at 4:13pm<b>lexiieeex3</b> - the 12/09/2015 at 2:31am<b>Y0UI34574RD</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 4:08pm

Fucked!<b>dimos4ever</b> - the 04/06/2016 at 12:40am<b>TheGamingGamer</b> - the 01/05/2016 at 8:45am<b>edmunson</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 6:52am<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 7:17pm<b>jrmertz00</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 8:53pm<b>skyblueprincess</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 6:12pm<b>fastman19</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 12:49pm<b>CCRider</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 6:49pm<b>dylanger16</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 3:53pm<b>psychopolarbear</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 7:46am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 1:26am<b>bchayes91</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 1:25am<b>CyberSeeker</b> - the 06/02/2015 at 1:06am<b>kitkatjoy_96</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 9:19am<b>snowflake6666</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 6:20am<b>Zigstyle308</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 5:11am<b>the_aspect</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 10:17pm<b>briang959</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 5:09pm

jkp1291's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

See all of jkp1291's badges

jkp1291's favorite FMLs

Today, someone called the police on me because one of my students was going home with me every day. The student is my son. FML

by thatcreepyteacher / 02/16/2016 at 11:27pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was threatened to be held back because of the lack of teacher-parent communication. My parents refuse to sign my report card because of my one mark below ninety percent. My teacher was dead serious about failing me. FML

by Anonymous / 02/16/2016 at 9:45pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I came out of the closet, after years of fear and shame, thanks to my mom making me to go to a church full of fundies my whole life. In the end, I was in tears. All I got was a frown and a "So? Want a medal or something?" FML

by Anonymous / 02/16/2016 at 8:49am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 13 year-old son had a seizure in the middle of his history class. We were at the hospital for three hours and several expensive tests later he informed me he faked the seizure so he could get out of a group presentation. He was so proud that he was such a good actor. FML

by EllieS9311 / 02/16/2016 at 8:16am / United States (Alabama) / Kids

Today, the play I was directing opened. The curtain opened, and my lead actor and actress weren't prepared. I could tell from the looks on their faces as the whole audience saw him balls deep in her, doggy style, on stage. FML

by headinabag33 / 02/14/2016 at 8:57pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I ended up in the ER because I ruptured a testicle by accidentally sitting on it. Last time I ever go commando. FML

by neveragain / 02/12/2016 at 2:10pm / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Health

Today, a teacher told me in all seriousness that she believes my son, who has severe learning difficulties, is likely demonically possessed. I'm sorry, but what century are we living in? Now I have to get him moved to another school so he doesn't have to be in the care of this nutjob. FML

by Anonymous / 02/12/2016 at 1:47pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I found my 6-year-old daughter recording herself on her little tape recorder. When I asked her what she was up to, she replied in her cute little voice, "I'm recording myself so you'll have a souvenir when I'm dead." FML

by DarkChild / 02/11/2016 at 5:18pm / France / Kids

Today, I tutored a third grade girl after school. She was squirming so much I thought she had to go to the bathroom. Turns out, she was just masturbating on the corner of a school chair. FML

by Katie1921 / 02/08/2016 at 9:52pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my grandmother yet again asked where my grandfather is. She refuses to believe us when we tell her that he passed away 6 years ago. She always insists that he's out cheating on her and accuses us of lying to cover his arse. FML

by Anonymous / 01/31/2016 at 7:11am / United Kingdom (Torfaen) / Miscellaneous

Today, I called the cops on my elderly neighbor for blaring loud war music yet again. They chatted and laughed with him on his lawn for a good half hour. As they left, he slapped the female officer's ass, only for her to just giggle about it. After they drove off, he fired up his music again. FML

by Anonymous / 01/30/2016 at 12:07am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went out clubbing and hit the dance floor, hoping to impress some girls with my moves. All I got was a bunch of weird looks and was told by one girl that I'm the "whitest black guy" she's ever seen. FML

by I Tried / 01/29/2016 at 5:18pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked in on one of my co-workers jerking off in the bathroom, complete with heavy breathing and victory groans. I don't want to go to HR, but I can't even look at him anymore. We have to work on a project together next week. FML

by Sandman2015 / 01/29/2016 at 1:36pm / United States (Utah) / Work

Today, I was diagnosed with a condition that makes me lactate. I'm a 6' tattooed guy with a boxing competition coming up soon. I'm never going to hear the end of this. FML

by Anonymous / 01/28/2016 at 11:26am / United Kingdom / Health

Today, around 12 a.m., my pet parrot said a sentence I've never heard him say before. Usually this would be exciting, but considering he said, 'I killed the bird', and that one of my two love birds mysteriously died a few days ago, it's safe to say I'm now terrified. FML

by sweetie808 / 01/28/2016 at 3:39am / United States (Hawaii) / Animals