Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

jkozzy

Search for a member

jkozzy

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 19 June 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2201
  • Number of comments : 34
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 15 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

jkozzy's page activity

Visits<b>katie55220</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 10:01pm<b>Aiden89</b> - the 04/30/2014 at 2:20pm<b>Raelthelamb</b> - the 03/28/2014 at 3:20pm<b>Secret_Ninjaa</b> - the 02/08/2014 at 9:38am<b>DanShowsNoMercy</b> - the 01/15/2014 at 10:41pm<b>bossyass</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 1:52am<b>The_Tenth_Doctor</b> - the 12/31/2013 at 9:06am<b>auzieforever705</b> - the 12/30/2013 at 9:20pm<b>hasabo</b> - the 12/28/2013 at 8:22pm<b>awrigh19</b> - the 10/20/2013 at 4:05pm<b>sledhead600</b> - the 09/17/2013 at 1:53pm<b>hardcorepuppy</b> - the 08/18/2013 at 1:26am<b>JukeMasterFlex</b> - the 08/03/2013 at 6:45pm<b>drgzvision</b> - the 07/16/2013 at 8:33pm<b>slightlyins4ne</b> - the 07/11/2013 at 8:41pm<b>bethyandstuff</b> - the 07/07/2013 at 11:35pm<b>El_Daemon</b> - the 06/04/2013 at 10:40pm<b>Karlee_Moore10</b> - the 06/04/2013 at 3:41pm

jkozzy's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of jkozzy's badges

jkozzy's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up super glued to the toilet. FML

#19420355
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25360) - you deserved it (9464)

On 04/06/2012 at 10:26pm - misc - by Tanner - United States (Oregon)

Today, I realized I'm too short to use the urinals at work. FML

#19416439
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26258) - you deserved it (2516)

On 04/06/2012 at 7:32am - work - by littleman (man) - United States

Today, I found out why teenage boys have "Keep out" and "Please knock" signs on their bedroom doors. FML

#19305643
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10154) - you deserved it (46703)

On 03/19/2012 at 1:49am - intimacy - by ari - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML

#19289453
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21618) - you deserved it (11881)

On 03/16/2012 at 4:23pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland

Today, I was chatting to a nice girl at the mall, and I said if she didn't get a raise, I would write to the management. She said they have no email address, and I replied that I meant an actual letter. "Like, on paper?" she said, "Damn, how old are ya, pops?" I want a ticket off this planet. FML

#19276990
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24911) - you deserved it (3030)

On 03/14/2012 at 11:17am - misc - by S. Michaels (man) - United States

Today, my girlfriend called and said she had great news. Turns out I've cured her of that illness she gets every month. FML

#19276120
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28924) - you deserved it (18099)

On 03/14/2012 at 3:51am - misc - by daddy-o - United States (Utah)

Today, I got pulled over for drunk driving. This is the second time its happened. I was completely sober both times. FML

#19276070
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21379) - you deserved it (14370)

On 03/14/2012 at 3:33am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I'm so sick that I'm drinking fluids just to make it hurt less when I puke. FML

#19195188
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24708) - you deserved it (2085)

On 03/01/2012 at 11:17am - health - by cmoney6452 - United States (Ohio)

Today, after suffering with bad constipation and having to eat special bread to get me to go, I have practically just pooped out a week's worth of food in 15 minutes, and I'm still going. I've passed the ring of fire stage, now I just can't feel my asshole. FML

#19174199
278 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35036) - you deserved it (5314)

On 02/27/2012 at 10:55am - health - by awhmaaan - United Kingdom

Today, I had a dream about the damn cappuccino machine at work. FML

#19170840
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18716) - you deserved it (3390)

On 02/26/2012 at 9:43pm - misc - by slickrick22 (man) - United States

Today, an African-American family came into the restaurant at which I work. They said, "Jackson, party of 5." After I laughed, I realized they were serious. FML

#19166851
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17167) - you deserved it (29486)

On 02/26/2012 at 10:31am - work - by Miss_Kristen - United States (Missouri)

Today, I finally broke down and told my mom that I'd relapsed with my eating disorder. She told me to quit whining and eat a burger because she didn't want to pay for another therapy session. FML

#19142645
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25088) - you deserved it (10088)

On 02/22/2012 at 10:49pm - health - by SmallTownCutie -

Today, I walked into two things. The first was a spiderweb. The second, due to blind panic, was oncoming traffic. FML

#19072252
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21803) - you deserved it (4962)

On 02/14/2012 at 7:39am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, while I was going to the bathroom, my engagement ring fell off into the toilet, which then automatically flushed. FML

#19017910
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33422) - you deserved it (4432)

On 02/07/2012 at 12:49pm - misc - by joy - United States

Today, I put my boyfriend's t-shirt on and took sexy pictures with nothing else but panties. I then sent him the pictures. His reply was, "Can you wash that when you're done?" FML

#19009550
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30962) - you deserved it (7232)

On 02/06/2012 at 11:18am - intimacy - by jodibut - United States (Oklahoma)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: