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jkozzy

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jkozzy
  • Town/Country : Oklahoma, US
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 19 June 1997 (16 years)
  • Number of visits : 1615
  • Number of comments : 34
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 15 posted

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jkozzy's FML badges

50 favourites

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Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

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jkozzy's favorite FMLs

Today, a therapist told me that I was too depressed to attend his depression group meetings. FML

#19520944
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26283) - you deserved it (2361)

On 04/24/2012 at 7:22am - health - by Sad Sally (woman) - United States

Today, I yet again heard a friend say "YOLO" as if it's a word. It was so annoying that I had to restrain myself from punching him in the face and offering him the chance to suck on one of my turds, since apparently "YOLO." FML

#19520181
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16777) - you deserved it (4548)

On 04/24/2012 at 12:44am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I blurted out something like "humdidumdum erm lalala" in public, attracting mystified stares. The thing is, I do this every time I remember something embarrassing I've said or done in the past, in an attempt to erase it out of my consciousness. So it happens a lot. FML

#19499543
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14862) - you deserved it (8739)

On 04/20/2012 at 3:34am - misc - by Ashamed (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had a conversation about how Victoria Beckham ate fruit salad for her birthday, as if it was an important subject. FML

#19495086
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5822) - you deserved it (18842)

On 04/19/2012 at 10:14am - misc - by Anonymous - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I had to explain to my neighbor that black people aren't all lactose intolerant. His eyes still bulge out every time I eat cheese. FML

Today, I finally asked some friends to read the beginning of a novel that I'd been slaving away at. One of them said it was the literary equivalent of aquarium gravel. Another asked if I'd been sniffing boot polish while writing it. FML

#19493868
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15844) - you deserved it (3859)

On 04/19/2012 at 12:46am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I found out my boyfriend and I have more in common than I thought. We both are sexually attracted to men. FML

Today, while vacuuming my new apartment, I farted a few times. After my last fart, I turned to find my super-hot neighbor standing at the door. Panicking, I asked in a "I-didn't-just-fart-my-ass" tone, "Oh hi! Been standing there for long?" She replied, "Since your initial rip." FML

#19489197
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22735) - you deserved it (5679)

On 04/18/2012 at 9:43am - misc - by Fartfail (man) - Hong Kong

Today, I heard that my ex-girlfriend was spreading scurrilous rumours about me all over our university. It appears that I distribute white supremacist propaganda, and that my sexual fantasies involve animals and vegetation. FML

#19488844
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22841) - you deserved it (2252)

On 04/18/2012 at 6:59am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I have been awake so long I hallucinated a llama in my living room. I have a medical condition that keeps me from sleeping properly. I've run out of medication. I still see the llama. FML

#19482788
283 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27269) - you deserved it (2370)

On 04/17/2012 at 5:38am - health - by SeeingLlamas (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I came out to my parents. They still think I'm joking. FML

#19469914
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24877) - you deserved it (4951)

On 04/15/2012 at 12:12am - misc - by Gayeveryday (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML

#19463606
582 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11631) - you deserved it (51487) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France

Today, I got home to find our house broken into. Among other things, the thieves took our television, my laptop and several pieces of expensive jewelry. Also missing was my daughter's My Little Pony collection. I think we were robbed by a Brony. FML

#19450814
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22713) - you deserved it (1791)

On 04/11/2012 at 5:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I punched myself in the face while trying to put my bra on. FML

Today, my ex-husband officially became my step dad. FML

#19421919
386 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82674) - you deserved it (4004)

On 04/07/2012 at 4:20am - love - by ladylarni - Australia



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