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jkozzy

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jkozzy

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 19 June 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2474
  • Number of comments : 34
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 15 posted

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jkozzy's page activity

Visits<b>WeChaseClouds</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 1:04am<b>katie55220</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 10:01pm<b>Aiden89</b> - the 04/30/2014 at 2:20pm<b>Raelthelamb</b> - the 03/28/2014 at 3:20pm<b>Secret_Ninjaa</b> - the 02/08/2014 at 9:38am<b>DanShowsNoMercy</b> - the 01/15/2014 at 10:41pm<b>bossyass</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 1:52am<b>The_Tenth_Doctor</b> - the 12/31/2013 at 9:06am<b>auzieforever705</b> - the 12/30/2013 at 9:20pm<b>hasabo</b> - the 12/28/2013 at 8:22pm<b>awrigh19</b> - the 10/20/2013 at 4:05pm<b>sledhead600</b> - the 09/17/2013 at 1:53pm<b>hardcorepuppy</b> - the 08/18/2013 at 1:26am<b>JukeMasterFlex</b> - the 08/03/2013 at 6:45pm<b>drgzvision</b> - the 07/16/2013 at 8:33pm<b>slightlyins4ne</b> - the 07/11/2013 at 8:41pm<b>bethyandstuff</b> - the 07/07/2013 at 11:35pm<b>El_Daemon</b> - the 06/04/2013 at 10:40pm

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50 favourites

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An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

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jkozzy's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom called me screaming and cussing because she found pot in my room. I come home and my dad says, "I hid some pot in your room and I'm not letting you go to that concert if you rat me out." My dad is apparently a blackmailing 52-year-old stoner. FML

#20006521
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29348) - you deserved it (1876)

On 08/06/2012 at 9:40pm - misc - by Joe Lizen - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was walking home from work, when a clearly homeless guy who smelled like Jimmy Hoffa's colon grabbed me, pinned me to a wall, and demanded that I hand over my "booty". I don't know whether or not I was mugged by Jack Sparrow, but either way, he's now over £100 richer. FML

#19987585
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18469) - you deserved it (1962)

On 07/27/2012 at 3:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Midlothian)

Today, at my job, an old lady kept calling her inhaler a blow job. I kindly explained to her why she couldn't call her inhaler that. She continued to ask me for a blow job in front of visitors. I had to say yes. FML

#19986519
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27580) - you deserved it (2366)

On 07/27/2012 at 12:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I realised just how cripplingly self-conscious I am, when I couldn't even fantasise about having sex with a guy without feeling shy and insecure about my body. FML

#19985398
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26027) - you deserved it (4767)

On 07/26/2012 at 2:07pm - intimacy - by PixiXOXO (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I took a picture of myself seductively eating an apple. I don't know what I'm doing with my life. FML

#19982867
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8466) - you deserved it (25110)

On 07/25/2012 at 2:14am - misc - by Rochelle (woman) - United States

Today, a customer punched me in the face for repeating their order back to them because they thought I was making fun of their speech impediment. I have the same speech impediment. FML

#19982373
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34433) - you deserved it (1865)

On 07/24/2012 at 9:37pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was in the hospital. I had recently broken my arm, and had to have it re-broken. I've secretly been a lesbian for years. Guess who came out to her strict Christian parents while on anesthetics. FML

#19982177
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31499) - you deserved it (4467)

On 07/24/2012 at 7:44pm - love - by Arthurie (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, some friends told me that my natural body odor smells like cooked beef and roasted onions. I'm disgustingly delicious. FML

#19972809
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18315) - you deserved it (3928)

On 07/22/2012 at 2:34am - health - by hungry? - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was having a really vivid dream in which I had to take a penalty kick to win the World Cup for the USA. I took the kick, but in reality, I smashed my foot against my bedroom wall and broke four of my toes. I also missed the kick in my dream. FML

#19959612
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25476) - you deserved it (2955)

On 07/19/2012 at 4:05pm - health - by owwwww - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

#19959363
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11243) - you deserved it (37809)

On 07/19/2012 at 2:55pm - misc - by Bontempi (man) - France

Today, I finally realized how depressed I am when I found bubble wrap and didn't feel like popping it. FML

#19957944
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31459) - you deserved it (2515)

On 07/19/2012 at 5:01am - health - by Epiphany (man) - United States

Today, I used a man's shirt as a pillowcase and sprayed it with cologne so I wouldn't feel alone in the night. FML

#19954113
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21392) - you deserved it (7337)

On 07/18/2012 at 10:21am - love - by MaeMoss (woman) - United States

Today, I finally hooked up with the girl of my dreams. We went back to her place, and I explored every inch of her body; luscious lips, hourglass curves, genital warts... The worst part was when she got angry when I refused to continue, shouting, "No wonder you're still a virgin!" FML

#19938552
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37297) - you deserved it (4462)

On 07/14/2012 at 8:50pm - intimacy - by checkup (man) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, I got mugged in broad daylight, in a park, by a teenage girl. To top it off, I'm a grown man. FML

#19918420
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22981) - you deserved it (8568)

On 07/10/2012 at 11:27am - misc - by Username (man) - United States

Today, I sneezed my jaw out of socket. Yes, this is possible. FML

#19899616
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29213) - you deserved it (1879)

On 07/06/2012 at 11:03am - misc - by hotpatata - United States



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