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jkozzy

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jkozzy
  • Town/Country : Oklahoma, US
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 19 June 1997 (16 years)
  • Number of visits : 1612
  • Number of comments : 34
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 15 posted

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jkozzy's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

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jkozzy's favorite FMLs

Today, at football practice, the biggest lineman shouldered me so hard in the groin that my protective cup pushed back with enough force to crack the bone. FML

#20032631
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22116) - you deserved it (1544)

On 08/20/2012 at 8:46pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I bought the only cat on Earth that doesn't like chasing after a laser dot. Goodbye, hours of sick, sick entertainment. FML

#20026951
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11115) - you deserved it (21202)

On 08/17/2012 at 7:33pm - animals - by lonelygirl (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I was so bored that I actually read the iTunes store's terms and conditions. FML

#20024681
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28690) - you deserved it (7054)

On 08/16/2012 at 3:50pm - misc - by cardsftw - United States (California)

Today, I was enjoying a romantic cuddle on the couch with my boyfriend, when he suddenly decided to lift up my shirt, stick his face into my boobs, and go all Darth Vader on me. This included heavy breathing and phrases such as, "Amber... I am your boyfriend." FML

#20024327
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18431) - you deserved it (4644)

On 08/16/2012 at 11:16am - love - by Amberain (woman) - United Kingdom (Halton)

Today, I was at work as a lifeguard. The temperature was absolutely stifling, but I tried to tough it out. A couple of hours into my shift, I passed out, fell off my stand, and crashed into the water. Or so the medics tell me. FML

#20024083
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16011) - you deserved it (1953)

On 08/16/2012 at 5:57am - work - by Soap0015 - United States

Today, I realized why it's not a good idea to sleep with your boyfriend when he still lives with his mom. She may walk in, make you get dressed, and demand what you have to say for yourself. Trust me, "Your son is good at sex" is not the right answer. FML

#20022504
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14752) - you deserved it (31711)

On 08/15/2012 at 12:31pm - intimacy - by shelby124 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my girlfriend started a huge fight with me over how I don't have the right to have close female friends anymore. She ended up storming off, and won't return my calls. But no worries: she did just play the word "murder" in our game of Words With Friends. Very comforting. FML

Today, I went out to dinner with my boyfriend and his mom. The hostess asked if I needed "the kid's menu," remarked how I look "so grown up for your age," and asked what grade I was in. I said I'm in university. She laughed as if it was the best joke ever told. I'm 22. FML

#20020595
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20362) - you deserved it (1052)

On 08/14/2012 at 12:52pm - misc - by ugh (woman) - United States

Today, yet again, I had to dye my hair brown in advance of the new school year, because my school doesn't allow "unapproved" colors, even if they're natural. FML

#20018767
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26525) - you deserved it (1812)

On 08/13/2012 at 1:50pm - misc - by youmothERFUCKErs (woman) - United States

Today, my mother screamed at my boyfriend, calling him an "evil piece of self-centred trash". He's a sweet guy who does volunteer work for kids with learning difficulties. She's a bitter, passive-aggressive telemarketer who constantly harasses her own family with sales calls. FML

#20018594
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24062) - you deserved it (1636)

On 08/13/2012 at 11:20am - love - by millie219 (woman) - United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of)

Today, at work, I was forced to nod and smile as a pregnant, fifteen-year-old, brain-dead Jersey Shore wannabe cussed me out for being rude by using words from a "foreign language" during our conversation. I used the word "pretentious." FML

#20015372
314 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28884) - you deserved it (1752)

On 08/11/2012 at 3:37pm - work - by mikeissad (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, at work, I was forced to nod and smile as a pregnant, fifteen-year-old, brain-dead Jersey Shore wannabe cussed me out for being rude by using words from a "foreign language" during our conversation. I used the word "pretentious." FML

#20015372
314 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28884) - you deserved it (1752)

On 08/11/2012 at 3:37pm - work - by mikeissad (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend, who I've loved and dated for over a year, confessed that she's actually straight as an arrow. All this time, she's basically been using me as an accessory to enhance her "social status" and make her guy friends horny. FML

#20013891
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28237) - you deserved it (3164)

On 08/10/2012 at 6:06pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Thailand (Krung Thep)

Today, I was at a Chinese buffet, and I got a fortune cookie. I opened it, and it said, "The love of your life is sitting across from you". The only thing across from me was an empty chair. FML

#20007961
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26136) - you deserved it (2177)

On 08/07/2012 at 4:13pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I had an upset stomach. I decided to quickly take out the trash before heading to the bathroom. As I opened the trash can lid, a raccoon jumped out. I learned the literal meaning of being scared shitless. FML

#20007279
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19473) - you deserved it (2039)

On 08/07/2012 at 5:19am - health - by TheCerealKiller - United States (California)



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