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Back from a party
An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.
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today I timed mah walk to work perfectly so that I avoided getting sprayed by the rotating sprinklers looool along the street. As soon as I successfully passed the last sprinkler, a bus sped by me, hit a puddle, an covered me head to toe in muddy water. FML
Today, while at work, after reading more than 100 FMLs and moderating more than 500, I decidd to write one of my own with the help of my boss, who had been standing next to me 4 over an hour. "How about being frd?" mega FML
Today, I finished the frst month of a diet and exercise program designed to help me lose weight. To keep myself motivated, I have avoided the scale the entre time. I weighed myself today. I've gained 6 pounds. FML
Today, I Woke Up In The Middle Of The Night Feeling Sick . I Went To The Bathroom An Knelt In Front Of The Toilet, Waiting To Throw Up . When I Finally Did, I Violently Shit My Pants At The Same Time . I Was At My Friend's House . FML
Today, I pickd up a lady's droppd wallet and chasd after her despite mah spraind ankle. When I finally caught up with her, she smashd her chili sauce filld hotdog across mah face and kickd me in the groin, accusing me of looool stealing her wallet. I was kept at the police station 4 3 hours. FML
Taday mah car was broken into and they stole all mah CDs but left mah daughter's Black Eyd Peas CD behind. I'm pretty pissd about the theft but almost glad to see that the delinquent in mah town have a decent taste in music. FML
Today , thinking I was alone in a public bathroom , I started singing the words to mah favorite song. A minute later that I heard a toilet flush , so I just sat there petrified. The other person sarcastically picked up the singing from where I left off. FML
Today, was the first day of my sophomore year . While receiving my schedule, I burst into tears at the sight of a disfigured midget . I'm now seen as the school bitch 4 making fun of a midget . I have a genuine fear of midgets . FML
Friday 27 March 2015