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jkozzy

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jkozzy
  • Town/Country : Oklahoma, US
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 19 June 1997 (16 years)
  • Number of visits : 1598
  • Number of comments : 34
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 15 posted

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jkozzy's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

Mobility

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jkozzy's favorite FMLs

Today, I sat on Santa's lap. He got an erection. FML

#18404973
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33464) - you deserved it (7314)

On 12/01/2011 at 5:25pm - intimacy - by pops up - United States (Missouri)

Today, I went to go get my driver's license, only to be told that I need a copy of my birth certificate. In order to get the copy of my birth certificate, I need a driver's license or my passport. In order to get a passport, I need a copy of my birth certificate or a drivers license. I have none. FML

#18385235
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40577) - you deserved it (4756)

On 11/29/2011 at 1:40pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was called by a restricted number. The man on the phone then explained to me in detail what I was doing at every second that I was on the phone with him. I'm scared to leave my house. FML

#18304644
265 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39342) - you deserved it (2097)

On 11/21/2011 at 1:28am - misc - by bizzyizzy0121 - United States

Today, I have two black eyes. The first one I got from the girl whose ass I mistakenly grabbed at a party last night. The other one I got from my girlfriend when I explained the first one. FML

#18240312
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12790) - you deserved it (21721)

On 11/13/2011 at 7:11pm - misc - by ThatHurts (man) - Canada

Today, my daughter asked me how to spell "Orange". "O-R-A-N-G-E" I replied. Without missing a beat, she says "No, I mean the colour, not the fruit." She is 16. FML

#18234448
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35202) - you deserved it (5504)

On 11/13/2011 at 1:53am - kids - by weswithaute - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I sent the texts "I love and miss you babe;)." and "Shit wrong person." to my ex just so he would think I have a life. FML

#18234157
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16291) - you deserved it (53577)

On 11/13/2011 at 1:16am - love - by random person - United States (Ohio)

Today, while jogging, I realized my face jiggles more than my breasts. FML

#18180881
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24014) - you deserved it (6471)

On 11/07/2011 at 12:12am - misc - by Janice - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I learned if you dream you're having a piss, you most likely are having a piss. FML

#18163240
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35199) - you deserved it (4878)

On 11/05/2011 at 9:43am - health - by rj93 - United Kingdom (Ballymena)

Today, I got my period. Last week, I fell out of a window and landed between my legs on a bush; I have massive swelling down there, and stitches over the ripped flesh. Now I'm bleeding out my period on top of the lingering wounds down there. It hurts even to pee, let alone menstruate. FML

#18130985
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38438) - you deserved it (3780)

On 11/01/2011 at 5:50pm - health - by stitchesupmyass (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had to tell all the trick-or-treaters that I'd run out of candy. I'd actually bought about $50 worth of candy, but managed to eat all of it by myself, sitting alone in my apartment, exactly like last year. FML

#18127186
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11374) - you deserved it (39979)

On 11/01/2011 at 5:09am - misc - by candice - Reserved

Today, I locked myself out of my own shop. And I'm a locksmith. FML

#18102402
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29411) - you deserved it (10011)

On 10/29/2011 at 10:07am - work - by joser6969 - United States

Today, my boyfriend confessed that he hates horror films. Our relationship was born out of our 'love' for horror films. I have endured 3 years of watching films that absolutely terrify me only to find out he doesn't like them either. FML

#18101877
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12032) - you deserved it (40747)

On 10/29/2011 at 7:32am - love - by duped (woman) - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)

Today, my boss made me run yet another stupid errand. When I delivered the paperwork to his office, I saw an email printout on his desk. Apparently, he has a plan in the works to get me "fried" next month. I'm not sure whether to give him a letter of resignation or a bottle of barbecue sauce. FML

#18088361
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21868) - you deserved it (2229)

On 10/27/2011 at 12:15pm - work - by last literate - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I got a boner at the dentist. FML

#18086799
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28290) - you deserved it (6184)

On 10/27/2011 at 2:40am - intimacy - by Me - United States

Today, without telling me, my mom dropped me off at my grandmother's house, and drove off. Now I'm supposed to spend the next month with her. Guess she forgot my grandma died six weeks ago. FML

#18062520
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43324) - you deserved it (2555)

On 10/24/2011 at 10:55am - misc - by lonely - United States (California)



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