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jkozzy's FML badges
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Back from a party
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jkozzy's favorite FMLs
Today, I went on a date with a very cute girl. It went well, until I accidentally called the blueberries in her dessert Oran Berries. I sheepishly explained that they're a berry from the Pokémon universe, at which point she excused herself, never to return. FML
by Brock / 02/02/2013 at 4:20pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Love
by wilks311 / 02/02/2013 at 9:12am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by aerythia / 12/08/2012 at 11:12am / United States (Tennessee) / Love
Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML
by Targeted / 11/08/2012 at 11:54pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, my college class was talking about Felix Baumgartner, who jumped from the edge of space down to earth. A boy suddenly put his head up and said in a serious tone, "I thought he jumped from the moon?" Several girls concurred. This is my generation. FML
by Fingkids / 09/24/2012 at 9:51pm / United States / Kids
by scarred for life / 09/21/2012 at 6:57am / Canada (Ontario) / Work
Today, a guy I've been seeing for a while sent me a link to a porn site, with the message, "Holy fuck, isn't this your mom?!" Thinking he was joking around, I clicked the link just to see what sick shit he wanted to show me. It was my mom. FML
by identitychangeplease / 09/19/2012 at 4:41pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Intimacy
Today, I was talking on the phone with my crush. After an hour of talking she told me, "If you were half as hot as you sound over the phone, I'd date you immediately." Maybe I should give up on love and start a phone sex line. FML
by annonymous / 09/19/2012 at 2:24am / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 09/15/2012 at 7:36am / United States (Delaware) / Health
by Anonymous / 09/13/2012 at 6:29pm / United States / Money
by Anonymous / 09/12/2012 at 12:05pm / United States (California) / Work
Today, I was pulled over. The cop stated that he "couldn't see" me because I had "blended in with the dark car background", and that it looked like no one was driving. I was literally pulled over for being black. FML
by Anonymous / 09/12/2012 at 3:00am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was assigned to write a short story about what we imagine Earth to be like in 500 years, and daily conflicts people experience. My teacher loved it and read it aloud to the class. He asked for my inspiration, and I didn't have the heart to say that I ripped off Mass Effect 3. FML
by brianfantana32 / 09/12/2012 at 12:24am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was trying to pass a lady with a stroller, when she nearly fell. I used my ninja-like reflexes to catch her. Too bad my ninja-like reflexes didn't block the punch that she delivered to my fap-stick for apparently being a "pervert" for saving her. FML
by CaptainSaveAHoe / 09/10/2012 at 8:42pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I moved three hours away from my boyfriend for college. Even though he got accepted to the…