jkilmer

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jkilmer

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 22 September 1995 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4407
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About jkilmer : I'm a crazy bitch, point blank period. I like to have fun but most of the time I can't stand people. I love reading and all types of music. If you're still reading this, you should probably stop since I have nothing left to say.

jkilmer's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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jkilmer's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me through Skype, with the message "my penis wants more, but my heart and mind don't want to hurt you." FML

by justsingle / 05/11/2010 at 4:56am / Philippines / Intimacy

Today, I just had a phone interview with a college. The lady asked me to spell out my password to a site so she can access my test scores. The password was "dick." FML

by uhoh901 / 03/25/2010 at 7:07am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, I lost my phone. I tried to call it using my husband's phone, but couldn't figure out which of the three Kates in the contact list was me. Turns out, two are co-workers and one is his aunt. I was listed under Satan. FML

by Satan / 03/15/2010 at 7:22pm / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, I realized explosive diarrhea can happen, and at the most inopportune times, such as on the day of MY wedding. At the alter while my husband said his vows. FML

by pain / 02/26/2010 at 5:23am / Japan / Love

Today, while eating at an outdoor café, a man on the street came up to me and said, "My girlfriend is sexier than you, bitch." Thanks for the confidence boost. FML

by sandiego / 02/22/2010 at 12:02am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my step-mom yelled at me for an hour, calling me a slut because our male dog saw me naked. FML

Today, I found out that my best friend pays my boyfriend to this day to take me out. FML

by thirdwheel / 02/15/2010 at 1:08pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I found out that I was not adopted and in fact my parents are my biological parents. How did I find out? Over dinner. How long have I been believing I was adopted? 22 years. Why did I start believing I was adopted? My siblings thought it would be a funny joke. My mom played along. FML

by Biological / 02/11/2010 at 7:22am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad got a hard-on looking at my best friend. He asked me how my NutriSystem diet was going. He was looking at my friend's boobs when he asked me. FML

by Anonymous / 02/10/2010 at 7:23am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, I have the flu, food poisoning and I'm on my period. I have enough liquids pouring out of me from various holes to satisfy a sewer. FML

by SickSmick / 02/09/2010 at 7:22am / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Health

Today, I found out the love of my life, my husband, is cheating on me. When I confronted him about it, his response was, "Don't blame me, you're the gullible bitch." FML

by Hm / 02/07/2010 at 11:03pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I decided to change my boyfriend's background on his phone. As I was in the process of changing it, I noticed his most recent picture is of a naked girl. The naked girl happens to be my 18 year old sister. FML

by whoknows?! / 02/05/2010 at 4:18pm / Love

Today, I decided to change my boyfriend's background on his phone. As I was in the process of changing it, I noticed his most recent picture is of a naked girl. The naked girl happens to be my 18 year old sister. FML

by whoknows?! / 02/05/2010 at 4:18pm / Love

Today, after confessing my love for my best friend, he looked at me and said "I'm not feeling it. But does this mean we can have sex?" FML

by Boned...hard / 01/27/2010 at 7:09pm / Intimacy

Today, I found out I have a daughter. How did I find out? She added me on Facebook. FML

by Nick / 01/26/2010 at 4:26pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Kids