About jkilmer : I'm a crazy bitch, point blank period. I like to have fun but most of the time I can't stand people. I love reading and all types of music. If you're still reading this, you should probably stop since I have nothing left to say.
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Today, after 4 months of no family contact while deployed in the military, I receive an email from my mother. Attached was a picture of a toilet full of green shit, with a message from my mom saying, "Seen neon poo before? Thought I would share!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (20685) - you deserved it (1405)
On 09/29/2011 at 8:27am - misc - by btchzloveit (man) - United States (Armed Forces Pacific)
Today, my wife told me the main reason she married me is because I have a cool last name. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26326) - you deserved it (3023)
On 09/21/2011 at 2:39pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, at work, a weird old woman came up to me and told me that it's okay: being ugly isn't a choice, it's nothing to be ashamed of, and that it's what inside that counts. She then hugged me and walked away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23233) - you deserved it (2223)
On 09/20/2011 at 4:08am - misc - by ugly? - United States
Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47875) - you deserved it (4812)
On 09/19/2011 at 10:39am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I caught my boyfriend of two years cheating on me. Instead of the usual excuses, he panicked and claimed he was my boyfriend's long-lost twin brother. He even tried to put on a fake accent. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31231) - you deserved it (2382)
On 09/19/2011 at 10:26am - love - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I caught my pregnant wife trying to suck milk from her breasts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26104) - you deserved it (4336)
On 09/15/2011 at 3:34am - health - by Scott - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend proposed by painting his chest with "marry me?" and an arrow going down. The ring was attached to his penis with a string. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34227) - you deserved it (4751)
On 09/14/2011 at 12:59pm - intimacy - by ohmaigawd (woman) - Argentina
Today, while taking a stroll in the park, a kid walked up to me and asked, "Do you believe in unicorns?" I answered, "No." He dunked his ice cream cone on my head, laughed hysterically, and ran off screaming, "BELIEVE!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (23455) - you deserved it (10128)
On 09/13/2011 at 5:21pm - misc - by unicorn - United States (Georgia)
Today, my husband dropped his pants and said, "Why don't you go down and say hello." This is his idea of foreplay. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23588) - you deserved it (4338)
On 09/13/2011 at 6:11am - intimacy - by notinterested (woman) - United States
Today, my mom put me in an anger management class because I said "crap." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26911) - you deserved it (2600)
On 09/12/2011 at 5:37pm - misc - by siikman313 - United States (New York)
Today, I learned that the building I just moved into contains both a drummer and an opera singer. Both are very dedicated to their craft and practice frequently. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21472) - you deserved it (2209)
On 09/12/2011 at 3:00pm - misc - by OperaLover (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML
I agree, your life sucks (71636) - you deserved it (9143)
On 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by IbetIgotAIDS (man) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I was talking to my ex. After pouring my heart out to her, saying we were meant for each other, she looked at me and said, "Don't bother, I've already slept with your brother." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31675) - you deserved it (3541)
On 09/12/2011 at 12:53am - intimacy - by MTJY - United Kingdom
Today, I had a creepy old guy with awful body odor in my salon. As I was washing his hair, he brought up how he wants to start a garden, and how a woman's monthly flow weirdly helps to make it grow. Then he asked me if I can save up my used tampons for him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30117) - you deserved it (1486)
On 09/11/2011 at 11:23pm - work - by fashionista1787 - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, I decided to formally introduce my girlfriend to my parents. My dad took the opportunity to apologize for walking in on us a few days ago while we were having sex. It wasn't her. Thanks dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13772) - you deserved it (163024)
On 09/10/2011 at 2:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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