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jkilmer

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jkilmer
  • Town/Country : United States
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 22 September 1995 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 2339
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About jkilmer : I'm a crazy bitch, point blank period. I like to have fun but most of the time I can't stand people. I love reading and all types of music. If you're still reading this, you should probably stop since I have nothing left to say.

jkilmer's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of jkilmer's badges

jkilmer's favorite FMLs

Today, I saw a woman breastfeeding at the natural foods market. It's the first time I've seen a woman's nipple in over two years. I've been married for ten. FML

Today, I tried to pick up a girl by asking her what the time was as a conversation starter. She responded by telling me it was time to pick a girl more in my league. FML

#20537800
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29750) - you deserved it (8042)

On 03/10/2013 at 3:52am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I finally told my dad about how I've been diagnosed with clinical depression. He began to recite a commercial for depression meds, but he couldn't finish because he was overwhelmed with laughter. FML

#20537428
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30498) - you deserved it (3470)

On 03/09/2013 at 9:05pm - misc - by depressed - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, the guy in the dorm room next to me was playing very loud metal music. I went next door and kindly asked him to turn it off. He did, so I went back to my room to go back to sleep. It turns out he was using the music to drown out his girlfriend's very loud moans. FML

#20536784
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35054) - you deserved it (14838)

On 03/09/2013 at 8:35am - intimacy - by ShittyWalls (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, one of my elderly swimming students ran into me at Walmart. Being a polite teenager, I said hi to him. He looked at me surprised and said, "Oh dear! I didn't recognize you with your clothes on!" I'll never forget the look on his wife's face. FML

#20536627
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35870) - you deserved it (2748)

On 03/09/2013 at 2:02am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, my boyfriend left me for a girl I know. She was the girl my last boyfriend left me for. FML

#20536593
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42696) - you deserved it (2990)

On 03/09/2013 at 1:16am - love - by itsnotyouitsher - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend's daughter asked me what would happen if she chose to stop urinating for two weeks. She wanted to know whether it would kill her or just start coming out of her mouth. She's 17-years old, and was deadly serious. FML

#20536217
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32547) - you deserved it (2731)

On 03/08/2013 at 8:11pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Argentina (Distrito Federal)

Today, after my 5-year-old finally got over his grandmother's death, we went to a store and saw a lady that looked exactly like her. She came up to us asking if we saw her grandson; I can't get my son to stop freaking out. FML

#20535134
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35235) - you deserved it (2052)

On 03/07/2013 at 8:55pm - kids - by Maxie - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was taking a patient's blood pressure, and listening for his pulse with my stethoscope. I couldn't hear anything, so I adjusted the cuff and tried again. Still no pulse. He pointed out that my stethoscope was the wrong way around and sneered, "You been smokin' the reefer, boy?" FML

#20535043
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11634) - you deserved it (29750)

On 03/07/2013 at 7:35pm - work - by no sir I have not (man) - United States

Today, I was fired from my job for breaking my company's tattoo policy. I have a small scar on my wrist that roughly resembles a heart. My boss insists that it's one of those white ink tattoos. No one will believe me. FML

#20534364
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36010) - you deserved it (2123)

On 03/07/2013 at 3:17am - work - by crap - United States

Today, my boyfriend of a year and a half left me for another girl. Who was the only person who cared enough to comfort me? The girl he left me for. FML

#20533752
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32631) - you deserved it (2252)

On 03/06/2013 at 5:28pm - love - by ForeverAlone (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my 20-year-old came whining to me, asking why his job interviews keep going so poorly. I had to delicately explain that the "PIMP SLAP" tattoo he had put on his right hand recently may have something to do with it. FML

#20533491
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27129) - you deserved it (3796)

On 03/06/2013 at 1:04pm - kids - by ProudMother (woman) - United Kingdom (Telford and Wrekin)

Today, while working my shift at Taco Bell, a creepy guy started flirting with me. He said, "You remind me of something," acting as if I knew him from elsewhere. I quickly said I used to work at Chili's. He shook his head and said, "No, not a person! An animal. A sloth maybe." FML

#20533458
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24677) - you deserved it (2499)

On 03/06/2013 at 12:19pm - work - by SlothyMolly - United States

Today, I went to the store to pick up some feminine products. As I was paying, the male cashier looked at me sympathetically and asked if it was my girlfriend's time of the month. I'm a girl and was buying them for myself. FML

#20533390
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32347) - you deserved it (3751)

On 03/06/2013 at 9:53am - health - by ghgfd - Canada (Ontario)

Today, instead of actually teaching us something, our college professor excitedly showed us the godawful Harlem Shake video he made with his friends. FML

#20533295
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26893) - you deserved it (4058)

On 03/06/2013 at 6:51am - work - by Will this stupid fad ever end? (man) - United States



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