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jkilmer

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jkilmer
  • Town/Country : United States
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 22 September 1995 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 701
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About jkilmer : I'm a crazy bitch, point blank period. I like to have fun but most of the time I can't stand people. I love reading and all types of music. If you're still reading this, you should probably stop since I have nothing left to say.

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jkilmer's favorite FMLs

Today, I noticed an old bell at the bar so I rang it. It turns out that when you ring the bell, you buy shots for the whole bar. FML

#18433358
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11311) - you deserved it (31759)

On 12/05/2011 at 12:41am - money - by Christina - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my parents bought purity rings for my twin brother and me for our birthday, and had them blessed by our priest. Neither of us are virgins. FML

#18433166
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34584) - you deserved it (7882)

On 12/05/2011 at 12:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my parents bought purity rings for my twin brother and me for our birthday, and had them blessed by our priest. Neither of us are virgins. FML

#18433166
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34584) - you deserved it (7882)

On 12/05/2011 at 12:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I told my son he couldn't have a toy. He threw a fit, looked me in the eye, and screamed, "Daddy's right! You are a bitch!" The whole store was watching. FML

#18410529
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28816) - you deserved it (4790)

On 12/02/2011 at 8:22am - kids - by jessi - United States

Today, after three days of getting stared at by my neighbour from the window, I realized that she wasn't alive anymore. FML

#18406735
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36941) - you deserved it (2822)

On 12/01/2011 at 9:02pm - health - by unknown52 - Netherlands (Overijssel)

Today, I sat on Santa's lap. He got an erection. FML

#18404973
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32446) - you deserved it (7238)

On 12/01/2011 at 5:25pm - intimacy - by pops up - United States (Missouri)

Today, my husband asked me if I was really pregnant or if I was just smuggling cheeseburgers. I'm now referred to as "the hamburgler." I'm only 5 months pregnant. FML

#18393059
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22992) - you deserved it (2985)

On 11/30/2011 at 9:57am - love - by preggers - Canada (Alberta)

Today, at my job as a waitress, I fell, landed on my ass, managing not to spill the drinks or drop the food in my hands. A little boy yelled "NINJA WAITRESS!" Every one at work has been calling me that all day, and purposely been trying to trip me to see if I could do it again. FML

#18390822
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28739) - you deserved it (4076)

On 11/30/2011 at 12:39am - work - by immy504 - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I found out my boyfriend is cheating on me with a woman twice my age. I'm 32. FML

#18353006
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40969) - you deserved it (2642)

On 11/26/2011 at 12:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I found a condom on my bed with a note written by my girlfriend that said, "Since you started acting like a dick, you might as well dress like one." FML

#18345679
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9349) - you deserved it (42205)

On 11/25/2011 at 10:02am - intimacy - by Dickhead - Lebanon

Today, I was jogging around the neighborhood when I went past a bar. There were lots of drunk men outside telling me to come over so they could give me the night of my life. One of those men was my grandpa. FML

#18329245
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35584) - you deserved it (2108)

On 11/23/2011 at 5:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I discovered my wife and I have referred to our two-year-old as 'cutie' or 'beautiful' so many times she won't respond to her own name. FML

#18304597
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9588) - you deserved it (26550)

On 11/21/2011 at 1:23am - kids - by BadFather (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out my wife has been bribing my daughter to keep quiet about her affair with my boss. That would explain the iPhone 4S, the $500 shoes, the $200 purse, and the professional $300 haircut. They told me it was because she had straight A's. FML

#18302011
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37182) - you deserved it (2484)

On 11/20/2011 at 9:05pm - kids - by brokeandalone (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my son asked me where babies come from. I told him, "From god." He came back with, "Daddy said it was from fucking." FML

#18255063
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29634) - you deserved it (16881)

On 11/15/2011 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by lababy - United States

Today, my daughter-in-law taught my 4-year-old grandson to burst into tears and yell, "Am I not good enough for you?" whenever I ask her if she's going to have any more children. FML

#18254436
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9776) - you deserved it (43103)

On 11/15/2011 at 10:16am - kids - by Margo (woman) - United States (Connecticut)



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