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jkilmer

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jkilmer
  • Town/Country : United States
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 22 September 1995 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 2330
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About jkilmer : I'm a crazy bitch, point blank period. I like to have fun but most of the time I can't stand people. I love reading and all types of music. If you're still reading this, you should probably stop since I have nothing left to say.

jkilmer's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of jkilmer's badges

jkilmer's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at University when a giant mascot started walking in my direction. As they walked past, they whispered my name seductively. I still don't know who it was. FML

#20578916
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32153) - you deserved it (4562)

On 04/07/2013 at 10:51am - work - by confused - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was very worried about my girlfriend of two years. She has recently moved into her apartment, and I hadn't heard from her for four days. Don't worry, though, she's fine. According to her mother's Facebook, she moved in with her old boyfriend. FML

#20578406
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42052) - you deserved it (2632)

On 04/07/2013 at 12:07am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was proposed to, under the condition that I "get thin" first. FML

#20578323
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44796) - you deserved it (8809)

On 04/06/2013 at 11:19pm - love - by ziggers10 - United States

Today, while going down on my girlfriend, I finally managed to give her an orgasm. During that orgasm, she tore out a clump of my hair, causing me to scream in pain. She scowled and said, "Ah shut it, ya little bitch." FML

#20577693
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50236) - you deserved it (11509)

On 04/06/2013 at 3:13pm - intimacy - by dating walter white's gf apparently (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I walked in on my husband eating cat food out of the cat bowl dressed in a cat costume. FML

#20577178
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48902) - you deserved it (5423)

On 04/06/2013 at 7:42am - misc - by confusedcatlover (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I found out that my girlfriend has been cheating on me with two different guys. Her incredibly moving excuse was that she was getting "more experience" so she could please me better. FML

#20576526
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35991) - you deserved it (2204)

On 04/05/2013 at 6:58pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Israel (HaMerkaz)

Today, I picked my 12-year-old daughter up from school after her first sexual education lecture. She burst into tears on the way home explaining her fears of being pregnant with her boyfriend's child. As if that doesn't sound bad enough, I've met her boyfriend before. He is imaginary. FML

#20575072
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37921) - you deserved it (3409)

On 04/04/2013 at 6:52pm - kids - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while shopping for a birthday present for my size 0 friend, I picked out a pair of pants for her. When paying, the cashier looked me up and down and said, "Well, you're pretty optimistic aren't you?" FML

#20574572
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44045) - you deserved it (3656)

On 04/04/2013 at 11:12am - misc - by NotASize0 (woman) - Denmark

Today, it was my wedding day. Three people showed up. My mom, my dad, and the priest. FML

#20574279
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54859) - you deserved it (3090)

On 04/04/2013 at 2:46am - love - by nobodylovesme (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my sister gave my laptop away and dumped a pile of her hamster's turds on my bed. All of this because I flushed the toilet while she was in the shower last night. FML

#20573279
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37876) - you deserved it (5914)

On 04/03/2013 at 2:45pm - misc - by poop (man) -

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I dropped our daughter. Our hypothetical daughter. Represented by a stuffed owl. FML

#20572997
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43163) - you deserved it (5203)

On 04/03/2013 at 9:32am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was lost in a foreign city so I asked a girl for directions. She replied, "Directions? ONE DIRECTION!" and started screaming in my face and jumping around. FML

#20572868
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37825) - you deserved it (3555)

On 04/03/2013 at 5:17am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my cousin is visiting from Oklahoma. He can't go a minute without saying "YOLO" or "Swag". He's going to be here for a week. FML

#20572695
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39318) - you deserved it (3292)

On 04/03/2013 at 1:20am - misc - by fuck YOLO - United States (California)

Today, in my job as an assistant at a music venue, I had to get posters signed by that night's performer. When I walked into the dressing room, I was told, "unless you're sucking my cock then get the fuck out of here" and had the posters slapped out of my hands. It's my job to deal with these pricks. FML

#20572312
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33238) - you deserved it (2968)

On 04/02/2013 at 9:26pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my older brother walked in on me while I was wearing nothing but a bra, panties, pantyhose, and high heels. I'm his little brother. FML

#20572069
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19344) - you deserved it (59155)

On 04/02/2013 at 6:52pm - misc - by SayCheese - Canada (British Columbia)



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