About jkilmer : I'm a crazy bitch, point blank period. I like to have fun but most of the time I can't stand people. I love reading and all types of music. If you're still reading this, you should probably stop since I have nothing left to say.
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Today, I downloaded an application that notifies me when my phone is fully charged. I had no idea how it actually functions, but I plugged the charger in and went to bed. A couple of hours later, I woke up to a man's voice screaming, "I can't take it anymore!" I nearly wet myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23037) - you deserved it (6919)
On 03/03/2012 at 8:55am - misc - by scaredshitless (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)
Today, my drunken mother woke up after having passed out and yelled at me for ditching school. It took half an hour to explain that it's 5:00, and I've already been to school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20770) - you deserved it (1173)
On 02/18/2012 at 9:20am - health - by AnastasiyaNicholas - United States (Ohio)
Today, it's been one week since my demented grandma babysat my five-year-old daughter while my husband took me to a fancy restaurant. Now she's taken to screaming and calling me a "damn commie" whenever I discipline or say no to her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15273) - you deserved it (3817)
On 02/17/2012 at 7:58pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I went to an extended family reunion. I started chatting to my great grandpa, and he asked me what I do for a living. Before I could tell him I breed animals, my visibly drunk dad interrupted and slurred, "Oh, she jacks things off. Horses, pigs, just about anything, really." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19009) - you deserved it (2406)
On 02/17/2012 at 7:13pm - intimacy - by -_- (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky in bed. He mumbled something that sounded like "I love you." I replied "I love you too baby", to which he laughed then said, "I said I wanted you to blow me." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20221) - you deserved it (3613)
On 02/16/2012 at 7:03pm - intimacy - by dummy - United States
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky in bed. He mumbled something that sounded like "I love you." I replied "I love you too baby", to which he laughed then said, "I said I wanted you to blow me." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20221) - you deserved it (3613)
On 02/16/2012 at 7:03pm - intimacy - by dummy - United States
Today, I was holding my 3 year old brother, and apparently he thinks it's hilarious to pull my tank top down and scream ''BOOBS!'' in public. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24697) - you deserved it (3342)
On 02/16/2012 at 2:41pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, Target asked me if I would do the closing announcement. I've only been working there a little while, so excited I agreed. I told people, "The store is now closing, thank you for shopping at Walmart." FML
I agree, your life sucks (12835) - you deserved it (24591)
On 02/15/2012 at 9:03pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I was dumped. My boyfriend was too afraid to break up with me, so he sent the girl he cheated on me with. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28056) - you deserved it (1720)
On 02/06/2012 at 8:23pm - love - by Nanabanana1 (woman) - United States
Today, I was dumped. My boyfriend was too afraid to break up with me, so he sent the girl he cheated on me with. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28056) - you deserved it (1720)
On 02/06/2012 at 8:23pm - love - by Nanabanana1 (woman) - United States
Today, I was having lunch at McDonald's when I dropped a French fry down my shirt. It stuck out the top of my bra. Before I had the chance to remove it, a creepy man picked it out and ate it saying that it was the best French fry he had ever eaten. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36680) - you deserved it (3437)
Today, I was looking through my boyfriend's Facebook photos, when I saw a recent comment by one of his friends asking how his night out with "Danielle" went. He replied: "Dude, keep that shit on the down-low." We've been dating for over a year. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23988) - you deserved it (1965)
On 01/27/2012 at 6:52pm - love - by Cheating (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, my girlfriend woefully admitted that she thinks of me more as a brother than as a boyfriend, all while I was still inside her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30333) - you deserved it (2437)
On 01/27/2012 at 5:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version
Today, I found out that my wife purposefully eats peanut butter and jelly sandwiches to get out of kissing me. I'm deathly allergic to peanuts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28859) - you deserved it (2207)
On 01/24/2012 at 12:31pm - love - by Allergic (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was driving back home with my family. I had to sit quietly for half an hour, all while pretending I didn't notice my sister playing with herself under the coat on her lap. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34244) - you deserved it (2508)
On 01/23/2012 at 5:36pm - intimacy - by jjs51 (man) - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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