About jkilmer : I'm a crazy bitch, point blank period. I like to have fun but most of the time I can't stand people. I love reading and all types of music. If you're still reading this, you should probably stop since I have nothing left to say.
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Today, my ex won a writing competition. His story was inspired by our relationship. In it, I'm a serial killing prostitute. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41344) - you deserved it (6453)
On 05/07/2013 at 3:45am - love - by serialkillingex (man) - Netherlands
Today, I tried lying to my parents for the first time. My mother is a neuroscientist and my father is a psychologist. Somehow, they managed to make me admit that I was lying before I'd even finished. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26968) - you deserved it (34967)
On 05/06/2013 at 8:52pm - misc - by blondie107 - United States (Texas)
Today, I found out that my wife is having an affair with the same guy my ex-wife left me for. FML
I agree, your life sucks (73549) - you deserved it (4294)
On 05/06/2013 at 2:13pm - love - by Anonymous - Ireland (Donegal)
Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54815) - you deserved it (4726)
On 05/06/2013 at 2:29am - kids - by SkeetinKeaton (man) - United States
Today, I tried to show my boyfriend's mom a picture of my prom dress on my phone. She scrolled to the right to find a picture of her son, naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32020) - you deserved it (59816)
On 05/05/2013 at 1:44am - intimacy - by beyondembarrassed - United States
Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML
I agree, your life sucks (56811) - you deserved it (8054)
On 05/04/2013 at 8:51am - kids - by wtfmama (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I caught my 14-year-old daughter stealing alcohol from me. After berating her for half-an-hour I finally said, "At least you're not doing drugs." She gave me a guilty smile and sheepishly said, "At least I'm not a prostitute?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (53492) - you deserved it (10857)
On 05/04/2013 at 3:22am - kids - by prostitott -
Today, I overheard my boyfriend admitting that he's only dating me because having me around "sucks a bit less than fucking my own hand". FML
I agree, your life sucks (44022) - you deserved it (4022)
On 05/03/2013 at 5:00pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany
Today, I was hitting on a cute girl on the bus. It was going well, and she gave me her name to add on Facebook. Since I didn't have the app, I opened Safari on my phone. It opened to my video from Pornhub I watched yesterday and started playing, on full volume, through the entire bus. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22603) - you deserved it (60204)
On 05/03/2013 at 9:23am - misc - by acnecream - Finland (Eastern Finland)
Today, I found out that every time my girlfriend takes a big dump, she pretends as if she's giving birth and screams uncontrollably. I just moved in with her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43020) - you deserved it (4411)
On 05/03/2013 at 7:32am - health - by poopydaddy - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my wife shaved her pubic hair so that it resembles Hitler's mustache. She won't stop referring to it as "the Clitler". FML
I agree, your life sucks (53048) - you deserved it (7576)
On 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, my girlfriend dumped me for cheating on her. Her "proof" was an image of me making out with a girl. Pretty damning, except she loaded it up in Photoshop, where I saw the image layers she'd used to fake the whole thing. I'm not sure what the hell she was thinking either. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46435) - you deserved it (2742)
On 05/02/2013 at 8:16pm - love - by psycho ex (man) - Brazil
Today, I walked in on my sister apparently trying to eat herself out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52912) - you deserved it (5611)
On 05/02/2013 at 7:54pm - intimacy - by future brain bleach addict (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I'm on holiday in Ghana. After having worn an anklet I bought here for the past two weeks, I was told that it's used by the local prostitutes to advertise their trade. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41195) - you deserved it (6223)
On 05/02/2013 at 3:59pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Ghana (Greater Accra)
Today, I met my boyfriend's mom for the first time. I introduced myself and went to shake her hand. She looked me up and down and said, "I don't shake hands with whores." FML
I agree, your life sucks (52075) - you deserved it (5757)
On 05/02/2013 at 2:27pm - love - by Jes_jes18 (woman) - United States
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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