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jkilmer

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jkilmer

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 22 September 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3541
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About jkilmer : I'm a crazy bitch, point blank period. I like to have fun but most of the time I can't stand people. I love reading and all types of music. If you're still reading this, you should probably stop since I have nothing left to say.

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jkilmer's favorite FMLs

Today, I was explaining to my son that porn isn't a realistic depiction of sex. Just as I finished explaining to him that threesomes rarely happen in real life, he started crying. I feel like a dream-crushing monster. FML

#20756438
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48312) - you deserved it (9361)

On 06/30/2013 at 5:44pm - kids - by sorry, kiddo (man) - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)

Today, I was sitting at my favorite coffee shop, when a creepy 50-ish looking guy sat at my table. He asked if I'm into submissive guys, and if I wanted to dominate him. I'm a 17-year-old girl, and am now scared to ever go back there. FML

#20754256
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44358) - you deserved it (2625)

On 06/29/2013 at 1:18pm - misc - by perdix??? (woman) - Czech Republic

Today, my boyfriend's proposal speech somehow ended with him breaking up with me. FML

#20752113
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57326) - you deserved it (3881)

On 06/28/2013 at 8:23am - love - by confusedandnowsingle (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, my daughter's obsession with Canada got out way of hand when she was suspended for climbing up the flagpole, in an attempt to replace the flag with a red-and-white maple leaf one. FML

Today, I bumped into my parents at the mall. They didn't tell me they were around. I live 5,000 miles away, in a different country from them. FML

#20744316
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58803) - you deserved it (3570)

On 06/24/2013 at 10:16am - misc - by Coolios (man) - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, it was the second anniversary of the day I met my girlfriend. I had to go to work, but I set an engagement ring and a letter on my pillow for when she woke up, and left breakfast for her on the counter. When I got home, she and all of her things were gone. FML

#20742451
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59088) - you deserved it (8734)

On 06/23/2013 at 10:42am - love - by foreveralone (man) - United States

Today, my girlfriend announced to everyone at dinner that she was no longer a virgin. This was news to everyone: her parents, siblings, best friend, and me. FML

#20742151
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66724) - you deserved it (4417)

On 06/23/2013 at 2:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, my boyfriend and I had a threesome. He suggested we have another guy. It ended up devolving into a twosome, and I wasn't part of it. FML

#20740333
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76285) - you deserved it (17337)

On 06/22/2013 at 2:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I walked in on my grandma playing with herself. Every time I close my eyes, I see things that no mortal was ever meant to see. FML

#20739366
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68961) - you deserved it (6559)

On 06/21/2013 at 5:00pm - intimacy - by bleeeaaaaaacccccchhhhhhhh (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I caught my 16-year-old daughter and her boyfriend trying to use a latex glove as a condom. FML

#20735858
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53882) - you deserved it (8468)

On 06/19/2013 at 7:40pm - intimacy - by whatno - United States (Texas)

Today, I was planning on having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, so I asked my roomate to stay out of our apartment. About half-way through, my roomate blared "The Eye of the Tiger" from the other side of the door. My girlfriend laughed so hard that we couldn't finish. FML

#20733192
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58094) - you deserved it (8151)

On 06/18/2013 at 12:16pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I turned 29. To celebrate, my office got me a cake that read "Happy 38th!!" The "theme" of the "party" was 'Not a day over 35!' I waited all day for someone to tell me it was all a prank, but nobody did. I spent my lunch hour crying in my car. Happy birthday to me. FML

#20732995
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54714) - you deserved it (5251)

On 06/18/2013 at 9:06am - work - by Not a day over 35 (woman) - United States (Alaska)

Today, my grandma's new dildo arrived in the mail. We buried her yesterday. FML

#20731352
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69078) - you deserved it (3965)

On 06/17/2013 at 12:43pm - intimacy - by hinting (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I lost my virginity. Not only did my parents somehow find out, they posted about it on Facebook. FML

#20730822
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48947) - you deserved it (10193)

On 06/17/2013 at 1:54am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up to my bratty younger sister cutting through my hair with a pair of scissors. I now look like a freak, and my mum bitched me out for being angry, all because my sister claimed she'd been sleep-walking. Her demented smirk said otherwise. FML

#20729503
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48890) - you deserved it (2760)

On 06/16/2013 at 2:49pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)



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