About jkilmer : I'm a crazy bitch, point blank period. I like to have fun but most of the time I can't stand people. I love reading and all types of music. If you're still reading this, you should probably stop since I have nothing left to say.
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Today, my grandma's new dildo arrived in the mail. We buried her yesterday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26103) - you deserved it (1261)
On 06/17/2013 at 12:43pm - intimacy - by hinting (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I lost my virginity. Not only did my parents somehow find out, they posted about it on Facebook. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29080) - you deserved it (5809)
On 06/17/2013 at 1:54am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I woke up to my bratty younger sister cutting through my hair with a pair of scissors. I now look like a freak, and my mum bitched me out for being angry, all because my sister claimed she'd been sleep-walking. Her demented smirk said otherwise. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34068) - you deserved it (1796)
On 06/16/2013 at 2:49pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)
Today, at a family reunion, my visibly drunk grandparents heard about my new boyfriend, who is a cop. My gran asked if he ever made me feel like Rodney King in the bedroom. Then my grandpa, fresh off a DUI, asked if my boyfriend's dick is as bent as the police force. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31595) - you deserved it (2819)
On 06/15/2013 at 1:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, my fiancé threatened to leave me for "bleeding too damn much." FML
I agree, your life sucks (36666) - you deserved it (3584)
On 06/15/2013 at 4:57am - love - by bloody - United States
Today, my husband of 3 years learned that he's going to be a father. No, I'm not pregnant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47304) - you deserved it (2772)
On 06/15/2013 at 12:28am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I was going through my daughter's contacts, except all of them had names from Harry Potter. I found the name "Mom." I was relieved I didn't have some silly name, until I realized it wasn't my number; it was her father's new wife. My number was under "Voldemort." FML
I agree, your life sucks (37380) - you deserved it (15338)
On 06/15/2013 at 12:19am - kids - by Jill (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I walked into the living room, only to find my brother wanking off to an episode of My Little Pony. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41789) - you deserved it (3966)
On 06/14/2013 at 6:29pm - intimacy - by bestiality, not even once (woman) - Ireland (Waterford)
Today, I attended my mother's funeral. My husband came too, and during the service, I kept hearing him giggling. I wrote it off as the usual awkward nerves, until he started snorting too, and I caught sight of the iPhone under his jacket. He was reading this very site. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46496) - you deserved it (3061)
On 06/14/2013 at 12:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Cyprus (Limassol)
Today, after dating for almost a year, I decided to introduce my parents to the man I was sure I'd fallen in love with. When dad saw him, his and my boyfriend's face completely dropped. I asked them what was wrong because I could feel the discomfort. Turns out, I'm dating my dad's drug dealer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56232) - you deserved it (5513)
On 06/14/2013 at 2:48am - love - by explanations (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was riding a bike when a truck accidentally hit me. The handsome driver came out and asked if I was alright. I said, "I am now" and winked. He said "Eww, no" then immediately ran away and drove his truck around me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33114) - you deserved it (20884)
On 06/13/2013 at 9:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my dad was teasing me, saying a guy would have to be blind to go on a date with me. I then introduced him to my new, visually impaired boyfriend. He hasn't stopped laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41987) - you deserved it (5152)
On 06/13/2013 at 8:30pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Southampton)
Today, my boyfriend dumped me, accusing me of lying to him about "being a hermaphrodite". His almost total lack of knowledge about female anatomy led him to believe that my clitoris is actually an extremely tiny penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42593) - you deserved it (3541)
On 06/13/2013 at 12:19pm - intimacy - by Hannah (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, after getting my wisdom teeth pulled, I woke up from a much needed nap realizing I should take my pain medication. My mother then told me she had thrown them out so I wouldn't get addicted and become a drug dealer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47691) - you deserved it (2550)
On 06/13/2013 at 3:05am - health - by _Tatyana_ - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I ran out of clean boxers. Thinking nobody would find out, I snatched a pair of my wife's panties. Later, we had a cook out for my birthday, where some of my old pals thought it would be funny to pants me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32177) - you deserved it (59107)
On 06/12/2013 at 2:39pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)
Monday 17 June 2013
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