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jjimm

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  • Number of visits : 208
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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jjimm's favorite FMLs

Today, my father bet me $200 that since my boyfriend is "such a stupid shit," he wouldn't be able to locate Paraguay on a map. I gladly accepted the bet. Not only did he not know where it is, he actually accused us of making the country up. FML

#20063309
322 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20038) - you deserved it (12381)

On 09/08/2012 at 3:16pm - misc - by dating a fucking idiot (woman) - United States

Today, my ex-girlfriend sent me an email. I was excited that she wanted to make amends for cheating on me before I dumped her. No, the email had a photo of her making out with the guy she cheated on me with, and the caption, "What you wish you still had". FML

#20063251
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26409) - you deserved it (2334)

On 09/08/2012 at 2:19pm - love - by max5 (man) - France (Aquitaine)

Today, I told my husband that I'm tired of feeling like his "blow-up doll". His response was to honk my boob and make squeaking noises. FML

#20062989
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24603) - you deserved it (4993)

On 09/08/2012 at 10:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I realized how much it sucks to have the same name as my dad when I overheard my mom moan his name in bed. FML

#20062873
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39948) - you deserved it (2171)

On 09/08/2012 at 7:38am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, after 3 nights of insomnia, I was finally able to doze off. My boyfriend woke me up just to ask which soda in the fridge was mine. FML

#20062839
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21635) - you deserved it (1706)

On 09/08/2012 at 5:57am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend requested that I shave my lips so I spent an hour in the shower carefully removing every trace of pubic hair. Turns out he wanted me to shave my moustache, not my carpet. FML

#20062588
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13325) - you deserved it (28762)

On 09/08/2012 at 12:03am - intimacy - by sasquatch (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went out to a club, hoping to score. I'd read about a trick pickup artists use called "negging" and decided to try it out. As I finished complimenting a girl for being brave enough to have not made much of an effort with her makeup, she slammed her knee between my legs. FML

#20062299
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4456) - you deserved it (44829)

On 09/07/2012 at 8:26pm - misc - by scumbag i guess - United States (Texas)

Today, for the third day in a row, my 10-month-old is refusing to eat any of the meals that I prepare for him. He will however eat anything semi-edible lying on the floor, cat kibble included. FML

#20061876
124 comments

Today, I went to a theme park. The first ride I went on broke down just as my cart reached the highest point. I had a nice view of my loving family laughing at me while management failed to fix the rollercoaster. FML

#20061769
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19527) - you deserved it (1565)

On 09/07/2012 at 11:33am - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, my brother started a new tradition: sending me pictures of every poop he takes. FML

#20061527
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20504) - you deserved it (1992)

On 09/07/2012 at 3:12am - misc - by poopexperttt - United States

Today, I had to go into the school for the third time this week because my son is claiming he's on bath salts and biting all his classmates. My son is 16. FML

#20061403
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22382) - you deserved it (2769)

On 09/07/2012 at 1:08am - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, there's a cricket in my apartment. I don't know if I'm more annoyed by the fact that it somehow got up three flights of stairs to get here, or that my cat is so excited about it that he's jumping on me and howling in my face to announce the cricket's presence instead of killing it. FML

Today, I had to pee so bad that I ran downstairs with no glasses on and stumbled into the bathroom, half blind. I sat down on the toilet and realized just a little late that my older sister and her boyfriend were having sex in the bathtub. FML

#20042115
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34567) - you deserved it (3276)

On 08/26/2012 at 1:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out that two kids were able to, without much effort, convince my 16-year-old daughter that her friend's house was used to smuggle out Jews during WWII. His house was built in 2007. We also live in America. FML

#20033419
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23428) - you deserved it (2937)

On 08/21/2012 at 4:21am - kids - by Jessica (woman) - United States

Today, I was walking up some stairs and heard a noise as if someone was following me. The faster I went, the louder the noise got. I was too scared to realize that it was just my thighs causing my jeans to chafe. FML

#20016166
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15072) - you deserved it (9309)

On 08/12/2012 at 12:34am - misc - by FlorenceD - United States (Texas)



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