jjimm

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jjimm

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 359
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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jjimm's FML badges

50 favourites

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jjimm's favorite FMLs

Today, I was on a train. An elderly woman and her daughter got on, looking for a seat. The daughter suggested the one next to mine. The elderly woman looked at me and said something in Russian. I speak some Russian. She said she didn't want to "sit by the hooker." FML

by dearbailee / 09/18/2012 at 10:04am / United States / Transportation

Today, I received the heels I'll be wearing at my best friend's wedding. The bride ordered them for us to match the dresses. They're six-inch platform heels. I have three broken toes and am still wearing a boot. The wedding is next weekend. FML

by AnnieThrax / 09/18/2012 at 12:35am / United States (Minnesota) / Health

Today, I found out that, for over three years, my boyfriend has solely been dating me to get closer to my mom. Apparently, "she's a total MILF." FML

by daughter / 09/18/2012 at 12:25am / Sweden (Vastra Gotaland) / Love

Today, my mom turned off all internet access in our house because she thought I spent too much time on the computer. She later asked me why she couldn't get on Facebook. FML

by Oh_So_Klassical / 09/17/2012 at 9:09pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my teacher told me that she couldn't find my hand-written essay on the Renaissance, and that I have to re-do it all by tomorrow. I later saw my essay on her desk, covered in a massive coffee stain that made virtually everything unreadable. FML

by Anonymous / 09/17/2012 at 12:05pm / France / Work

Today, the guy I have been seeing left town to visit his family for three weeks. A few hours later, he called me from the airport to say he is never coming back. FML

by jlee0000785 / 09/17/2012 at 10:15am / Australia / Love

Today, I got fired for saving my company upwards of $6,000. I'm as confused as you are. FML

by Grindwhore / 09/17/2012 at 6:46am / Canada (British Columbia) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I went to get my nails done for the first time in a while. I don't like to go that much because two of my toes are connected, and I'm very self-conscious about it. The man painting my toes started laughing when he saw them and called all the other employees over to look. FML

by twinkletoes / 09/17/2012 at 2:32am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, for the first time in a week, a customer entered my store. He needed to use the bathroom. FML

by Anonymous / 09/15/2012 at 9:29pm / United States / Work

Today, I woke up feeling ecstatic, because last night, my crush had told my best friend he likes me a lot. I sent him a text message telling him the feeling is mutual. A little while after sending it, it hit me that his confession had only been part of a dream. FML

by hannah / 09/15/2012 at 6:16pm / New Zealand (Marlborough) / Love

Today, the gas company came to connect our stove for free. While here, they broke our hot water heater, shut it off, and issued us a hazard notice. We can fix it, but they won't be able to come back for another two weeks to turn the gas back on. We don't have any hot water until then. FML

by Anonymous / 09/15/2012 at 12:44am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, after math class, the resident creepy kid approached me and asked me out. I've only spoken to him twice before, so I was creeped out, and I politely declined. He totally lost it, and shouted that I'm a "friend-zoning bitch" before storming out of the room. FML

by wow kid just leave me alone / 09/14/2012 at 8:03pm / United States / Love

Today, my five-year-old daughter asked me why moms don't swallow clothes, so that their babies won't be born naked. My husband burst into derisive laughter, and has now trained her into responding to the name "Derp-Derp." FML

by -___- / 09/14/2012 at 7:06pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Kids

Today, my 12 year-old dog died. My boyfriend's attempts to comfort me involved him muttering, "At least she knows how to play dead now." FML

by Anonymous / 09/14/2012 at 12:51pm / United States / Animals

Today, my boyfriend and I had breakfast with his grandmother. She told him how I'm prettier than "that Mexican" he'd brought home for dinner last week. We had dinner with her last week, and I'm that same Mexican. She then went on to how Mexicans are what's wrong with the economy. FML

by MexicanMe / 09/14/2012 at 10:13am / United States / Miscellaneous