Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

jjessen

Search for a member

jjessen

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1025
  • Number of comments : 120
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About jjessen : Feel free to message me about anything, especially anime. If you want any suggestions about specific genres of anime, you can message me, since I have a wide variety of suggestions.
I am honestly here mostly just for teh luls.
Here are some series you should watch (the ones with star are my personal favorites):
(Top 5, rest are out of order)
1 Guilty Crown
2 Clannad & Clannad After Story
3 Toradora
4 Date A Live
5 Seitokai Yakuindomo
MM!
Hayate no Gotoku *
The Hentai Prince and the Stony Cat
Sword Art Online
Shuffle
Code geass
Star driver
Eureka 7 all *
Tsukaima no zero *
Infinite Stratos
Dragon crisis
DN angel
Full moon *
Full metal panic
Casshern sins
To love Ru & Darkness
Maburaho
High school of the dead
Kore wa zombie desk ka & of the dead
Angel beats *
Rosaria&Vampire
Accel world
Shakugan no shana
Mirai nikki *
Phi brain
DearS
Nagasarete airantou
Deadman wonderland
Accel world
Sekirei/pure engagement/ *
Freezing *
Elfen lied

jjessen's page activity

Visits<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 12:07am<b>joelpower</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 11:07pm<b>RobotUnicorn1209</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 6:55pm<b>Jeff32</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 7:10am<b>GratedBalls</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 6:41pm<b>fazealex</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 12:27am<b>kipperin</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 8:14pm<b>MamaJenn</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 8:55pm<b>MRVOlivia</b> - the 02/05/2014 at 4:14pm<b>XxOtakuDemonxX</b> - the 01/20/2014 at 5:00am<b>Effulgence</b> - the 12/16/2013 at 1:13am<b>LynxieLynx</b> - the 12/13/2013 at 11:21pm<b>Rick_Astley</b> - the 12/04/2013 at 1:29am<b>ChenEighty</b> - the 11/07/2013 at 10:05am<b>victoria0915xo</b> - the 09/20/2013 at 5:21pm<b>thomashood</b> - the 09/19/2013 at 9:53pm<b>annihil8or</b> - the 09/18/2013 at 12:51am<b>kaitlynjane</b> - the 09/17/2013 at 9:06pm

jjessen's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

See all of jjessen's badges

jjessen's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up after a night of partying and heavy drinking. Apparently word travels quickly, because everyone now knows that I spent hours lying in an empty bathtub, rubbing shampoo over my body with the expectation that it'd increase my penis size. FML

#19726729
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7184) - you deserved it (29712)

On 06/03/2012 at 1:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Spain (Castilla y Leon)

Today, while sitting in my Forensic Psychology class, my professor listed all of the main traits that indicate someone may very well be a sociopath. Every single trait described my fiancé perfectly. FML

#19708258
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27359) - you deserved it (5144)

On 05/31/2012 at 2:50am - love - by Getmeout (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my six-year-old got in an argument with my four-year-old. I told them to go outside. The next thing I know, my son was standing in front of his sister's burning Barbie's Malibu Dream House, singing "Burn Baby Burn" and cackling madly. FML

#17884513
422 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32807) - you deserved it (9217)

On 10/02/2011 at 3:27am - kids - by TraumatizedMother (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got pulled over for going about 88mph. When the cop asked why I was speeding, I replied, "I was trying to go back in time". He didn't like that answer and gave me a ticket. FML

#16248002
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11279) - you deserved it (63358)

On 05/19/2011 at 1:30am - work - by 613tanner -

Today, I got a call from my five-year-old son's principal, my son had pooped in the school yard then gave the teacher a ziploc bag and commanded her to pick it up. He said he was trying to imitate our dog. FML

#15328400
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36421) - you deserved it (5573)

On 03/15/2011 at 10:05pm - kids - by anonymous -

Today, I was in a hurry trying to get into my locker, but it stuck. After a few frustrating attempts, I finally managed to get it open. In anger, I threw the door open, but it bounced back and hit me in the head. My natural reflex was to jerk forward, giving myself a black eye from the hook inside. I got in a fight with my locker and lost. FML

#13075106
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21192) - you deserved it (12041)

On 09/16/2010 at 4:06pm - misc - by locker (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I tried drinking "Smart Water" for the first time. I couldn't figure out how to open the bottle. FML

#12077733
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9906) - you deserved it (32796)

On 07/24/2010 at 1:20am - misc - by tstaeger (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I microwaved a cup of soup. While walking back to my desk to eat and do homework, I noticed a message that said, "WARNING: Hold cup by sides, as lid may not be secure." At that exact moment, the lid that I was holding fell off and the soup drenched my Nintendo DS, and printer. FML

#5913009
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10212) - you deserved it (36371)

On 10/20/2009 at 1:44pm - misc - by Omi (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I decided not to park in the parking garage on campus, in an attempt to save the $8 it would have cost me. Instead, I parked in a surface lot (about a mile away) and got a $50 parking ticket for not having a permit to park there. FML

#5399983
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7498) - you deserved it (37538)

On 09/21/2009 at 7:34pm - misc - by ScorpioQueen (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, was my third day at work. The hazing finally began. After a few rounds of "punch the new guy", I thought I would finally be safe because the manager walked into the kitchen. He saw what was going on, picked up a handful of ketchup packets, and began throwing them at me. FML

#4909892
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39051) - you deserved it (4368)

On 08/29/2009 at 5:02pm - work - by newguy (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend and were I getting it on in his bedroom where he had all of his anime models on display. I accidentally knocked over one of his models and it fell on to the floor. He got angry and kicked me out. Apparently, making his models look good was more important than us making love. FML

#3898181
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37877) - you deserved it (11742)

On 07/20/2009 at 2:18am - love - by mchhhoi (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had to re-take an hour long MRI scan because I got an erection midway through. FML

#1051780
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67766) - you deserved it (15898)

On 04/17/2009 at 10:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend was packing for her study abroad program. Jokingly, I got her a pack of condoms. She laughed, saying "Oh yeah, I'll definitely need some of those." Later, I showed up to take her to the airport and saw her open suitcase in the kitchen, with the condoms on top. FML

#190354
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35467) - you deserved it (30327)

On 03/02/2009 at 10:21pm - love - by badtrip (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I was expelled from school. By my own mother. FML

#35910
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27424) - you deserved it (34797)

On 02/13/2009 at 6:07am - misc - by Kulcha (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was baby-sitting four rather noisy and rowdy kids. After a two hour struggle, I finally manage to get them into bed. I then ask them what they want before going to sleep, and the eldest replies: "Can you tell us a story where you die at the end?" FML

#624
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29343) - you deserved it (2596)

On 12/29/2008 at 5:56am - kids - by Hellau - Sent from mobile version



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: