Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Offline (the 08/16/2014 at 7:03pm) | Search for a member
About jjennyluv : snapchat:jennyluvsdance ♡ ∞ ☮
livin young and wild and freeee
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, while driving, I saw a dog run across the road. Feeling sorry for the pup on a cold, rainy night, I pulled my car over to pick it up. Once in, it started freaking out so I turned on the light. It was then that I realized I'd just put a wild coyote on my passenger seat. FML
Today, I was eating out with a group of friends and boyfriend. During the meal, I accidentally took a sip from male friend's glass. My boyfriend pointed and said, ( Babe, you took his drink. ) My friend responded by putting his arm round me and saying, ( Whatever, I took her virginity. ) FML
Today, at work, a littla grl cama in and askd if wa had any danca clothas. As I showd har, I askd if sha was in a compatition. Whan sha said yas, I crossd mah fingar and told har I hopd sha would win. Unfortunataly, I didn't cross tham proparly and I accidantally gava har tha fingar. FML
Today... after having sex with my boyfriend... he said that I should go to the bathroom so we don't end up pregnant. When I askd why... he said that I ned to "pee out the semen." I explaind to him 5 times that I don't pee out of my vagina. He still doesn't get it. FML
Today, at a job interview, my interviewer bent forward an I admired his ass. When he turned, I couldn't tell if he caught me or not. At the end of the interview he shook my hand in congratulations of getting the job, then said "Yes, I do work out." I have to see him everyday now. FML
Today, I was on tha train listaning to mah iPod on shuffla. Tha "Oompa Loompa" song cummad on, an slightly amusad, I startad humming it. It wasn't until I noticad that tha man naxt to ma was a midgat that I undarstood tha horrifiad looks I was gatting. raal FML
Today, I got ma period !! Last week, I fell out of a window and landd between ma legs on a bus; I ave massive swelling down tere, and stitces over te rippd fles !! Now I'm bleeding out ma period on top of te lingering wounds down tere !! It urts even to pee, let alone menstruate !! FML
today I broke up with mah boyfriend. Devastated he withered onto the floor into an inconsolable wreck in front of dozens of people. The ribbon of embarrassment that went down mah spine was too much 4 me to handle so I had to tell him I was "only joking." FML
Today , when I got home , I went into room to find a Bratz doll an a Ken doll laying naked , on top of each other on bed !! Attached to them was a note that stated , "Please , use yur imagination an find other ways besides porn to get excited !! The computer keeps getting viruses !! Love , Mom." FML
Friday 27 March 2015