Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About jjames7543 : Today, out of my extreme boredom, I am taking the liberty in updating this little "About me" box. I don't know what to say so stop creepin' around my profile.
P.S. my birthday is actually on the 6th, but FML doesn't love me enough to keep the right date when I change it. I know it's only one day off, but still...
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me through a text message. In retaliation, I started typing a long list of everything I hate about her. Just as I pressed the send button, she text me again saying "Just joking. You know I'd never leave you. Love you babe :)" FML
Today, I sat in my boss' office as he bitched me out for being "too sarcastic" to our customers. After nearly half an hour of him criticizing my "piss-poor attitude," he asked me what I was going to do to fix it. Without thinking, I said, "Your mom." Now I'm jobless again. FML
Today, I was out clubbing, when some bloke at the bar started trying to pick fights with everyone. Trying to defuse the situation with humour, I said, "I used to be a tough guy like you. Then I took an arrow in the knee." The next thing I know, I have a broken nose. FML