About jjames7543 : Today, out of my extreme boredom, I am taking the liberty in updating this little "About me" box. I don't know what to say so stop creepin' around my profile.
P.S. my birthday is actually on the 6th, but FML doesn't love me enough to keep the right date when I change it. I know it's only one day off, but still...
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Checking you out
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Socialite
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
Today, I finally got to see my boyfriend, after two months apart. As we hugged, he lifted me up and spun me around like in the movies. It would have been really romantic if I hadn't hit a little boy while he was riding past on his bike. I've just traumatized a little kid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17785) - you deserved it (1702)
On 07/24/2012 at 2:33pm - kids - by Jessi (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, at the bank, my 8-year-old son decided to pull out realistic looking toy gun, and scream "FREEZE! Give me all your money!" The dim-witted bank teller pressed the silent alarm, and I was nearly arrested. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13502) - you deserved it (17825)
On 07/20/2012 at 6:20am - kids - by great - New Zealand (Waikato)
Today, I told my boyfriend I wanted to spice up our sex life. He suggested incorporating bacon. He was serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17645) - you deserved it (3991)
On 07/19/2012 at 4:29pm - intimacy - by cortanaisahobot - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I finally realized how depressed I am when I found bubble wrap and didn't feel like popping it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26308) - you deserved it (2105)
On 07/19/2012 at 5:01am - health - by Epiphany (man) - United States
Today, an old guy approached me and asked if I had ever seen an elephant with white ears. I shook my head. He then pulled the pockets out of his shorts and whipped out his sex nose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26824) - you deserved it (3484)
On 07/12/2012 at 2:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I was cashiering, and a customer's change came to $5.51. She looked pretty stinking rich, so I just gave her $5.50. She demanded the extra penny, and I asked if she really needed it. She said, "No, but they do, asshole," and dropped her $5.51 in the charity donation box. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6361) - you deserved it (90804)
On 06/13/2012 at 12:00pm - money - by ouch - United States (Florida)
Today, I used a prank app, where you shake the cell, and it makes the screen looks cracked. I ended up losing my grip on the phone. It went flying, and it is now cracked for real. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7166) - you deserved it (21349)
On 06/10/2012 at 2:24am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I woke up from a sexy dream about my boyfriend. Too bad I'd fallen asleep in my living room with my whole family over, grandma included. They were all staring. I'd been sleep humping and moaning. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25874) - you deserved it (3920)
On 06/07/2012 at 1:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, in a parking lot, a girl came up to our car and started to knock on the window and scream, "I KNEW IT!" My girlfriend doesn't believe that I don't know her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21714) - you deserved it (1451)
On 06/03/2012 at 11:20am - misc - by Apissedoffguy - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I had so much to do, I didn't know where to start. So I didn't. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9216) - you deserved it (29393)
On 06/01/2012 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous - Austria (Wien)
Today, my daughter was still acting out her teenage issues. This morning, when I told her to, "Have a nice day" she screamed at me, "DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (23298) - you deserved it (3062) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 05/30/2012 at 6:41pm - kids - by Aldoch -
Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my parents. My dad turns around and says he was expecting him to have a guide dog. This is why I don't have much confidence in myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18652) - you deserved it (1155)
On 05/27/2012 at 8:31pm - misc - by hitnmiss66 (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)
Today, at work, my friend dared me to answer the next call on my phone by saying, "This is your local sperm bank. You jack it, we pack it." I did it. The person on the phone was my boss. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7662) - you deserved it (28486)
On 05/26/2012 at 10:42am - intimacy - by girly girly - United States (Texas)
Today, I woke up after a long night of drinking with my friends. I vaguely remembered visiting a tattoo parlour, but nothing prepared me for the sight of the words "YOLO" and "MOFO" tattooed across the fingers of my left and right hands. Now I'm officially a bandwagoning douchebag. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6288) - you deserved it (23226)
On 05/16/2012 at 5:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)
Today, if you live in California, you might have seen a crazy drunk guy naked in front of a McDonald's, waving at everyone. Yeah, that was probably me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6054) - you deserved it (20078)
On 05/13/2012 at 6:30pm - misc - by smh (man) - United States (California)
Monday 17 June 2013
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