About jjames7543 : Today, out of my extreme boredom, I am taking the liberty in updating this little "About me" box. I don't know what to say so stop creepin' around my profile.
P.S. my birthday is actually on the 6th, but FML doesn't love me enough to keep the right date when I change it. I know it's only one day off, but still...
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
Socialite
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
Today, I had an upset stomach. I decided to quickly take out the trash before heading to the bathroom. As I opened the trash can lid, a raccoon jumped out. I learned the literal meaning of being scared shitless. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15564) - you deserved it (1487)
On 08/07/2012 at 5:19am - health - by TheCerealKiller - United States (California)
Today, I was changing my son's diaper when he said "Momma." Astonished that he'd finally spoken, I clapped and smiled proudly. My clap scared the crap out of him. Literally. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15672) - you deserved it (3165)
On 08/05/2012 at 9:10pm - kids - by milf - United States (Indiana)
Today, while I was getting intimate with my husband, he moaned someone else's name. He actually tried to explain himself by saying that he'd had a "divine encounter," and while "possessed by the Lord," he'd been told the name of our future daughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27694) - you deserved it (1979)
On 08/05/2012 at 1:45pm - intimacy - by lils (woman) - United States
Today, my iPhone got back from being fixed. When I opened the box there was a note attached to my phone that said, "All you had to do was turn it on." FML
I agree, your life sucks (4137) - you deserved it (25333)
On 07/27/2012 at 1:05am - misc - by ryanharp2 - United States (Arkansas)
Today, at my job, an old lady kept calling her inhaler a blow job. I kindly explained to her why she couldn't call her inhaler that. She continued to ask me for a blow job in front of visitors. I had to say yes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19566) - you deserved it (1522)
On 07/27/2012 at 12:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I finally got to see my boyfriend, after two months apart. As we hugged, he lifted me up and spun me around like in the movies. It would have been really romantic if I hadn't hit a little boy while he was riding past on his bike. I've just traumatized a little kid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17727) - you deserved it (1701)
On 07/24/2012 at 2:33pm - kids - by Jessi (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, at the bank, my 8-year-old son decided to pull out realistic looking toy gun, and scream "FREEZE! Give me all your money!" The dim-witted bank teller pressed the silent alarm, and I was nearly arrested. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13454) - you deserved it (17787)
On 07/20/2012 at 6:20am - kids - by great - New Zealand (Waikato)
Today, I told my boyfriend I wanted to spice up our sex life. He suggested incorporating bacon. He was serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17502) - you deserved it (3983)
On 07/19/2012 at 4:29pm - intimacy - by cortanaisahobot - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I finally realized how depressed I am when I found bubble wrap and didn't feel like popping it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24588) - you deserved it (1689)
On 07/19/2012 at 5:01am - health - by Epiphany (man) - United States
Today, an old guy approached me and asked if I had ever seen an elephant with white ears. I shook my head. He then pulled the pockets out of his shorts and whipped out his sex nose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25662) - you deserved it (2935)
On 07/12/2012 at 2:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I was cashiering, and a customer's change came to $5.51. She looked pretty stinking rich, so I just gave her $5.50. She demanded the extra penny, and I asked if she really needed it. She said, "No, but they do, asshole," and dropped her $5.51 in the charity donation box. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5790) - you deserved it (75841)
On 06/13/2012 at 12:00pm - money - by ouch - United States (Florida)
Today, I used a prank app, where you shake the cell, and it makes the screen looks cracked. I ended up losing my grip on the phone. It went flying, and it is now cracked for real. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7152) - you deserved it (21267)
On 06/10/2012 at 2:24am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I woke up from a sexy dream about my boyfriend. Too bad I'd fallen asleep in my living room with my whole family over, grandma included. They were all staring. I'd been sleep humping and moaning. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25676) - you deserved it (3908)
On 06/07/2012 at 1:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, in a parking lot, a girl came up to our car and started to knock on the window and scream, "I KNEW IT!" My girlfriend doesn't believe that I don't know her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21646) - you deserved it (1446)
On 06/03/2012 at 11:20am - misc - by Apissedoffguy - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I had so much to do, I didn't know where to start. So I didn't. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9198) - you deserved it (29281)
On 06/01/2012 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous - Austria (Wien)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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