About jjames7543 : Today, out of my extreme boredom, I am taking the liberty in updating this little "About me" box. I don't know what to say so stop creepin' around my profile.
P.S. my birthday is actually on the 6th, but FML doesn't love me enough to keep the right date when I change it. I know it's only one day off, but still...
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
Socialite
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
Today, I woke up thinking my house was on fire because I could hear crackling flames downstairs. I panicked and tripped out of bed. It was the fireplace channel I left on last night so I could wake up to a Christmas ambiance. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8301) - you deserved it (22232)
On 12/25/2012 at 9:46pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my boyfriend ended sex by yelling, "THIS IS SPARTA!" and using his foot to push me off the bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44701) - you deserved it (7276)
On 12/23/2012 at 11:55pm - intimacy - by Saradee (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was hit in the head by a golf ball. I wasn't near a golf course, and nobody was anywhere in sight. I'm still trying to figure out what happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30037) - you deserved it (2687)
On 12/17/2012 at 2:38pm - health - by wtf - United States
Today, I had a presentation in French class. I was so nervous, the first thing I said when I got up there was, "Hola." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17447) - you deserved it (3160)
On 12/06/2012 at 12:35am - work - by SpanishInFrenchClass (woman) - United States
Today, while I was at a urinal, a man came up to use the one next to me. He then said, "I guess this is where all the dicks hang out." He then stared at me until I left. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14673) - you deserved it (970)
On 12/03/2012 at 9:14pm - misc - by reedcarter -
Today, I was going to give my baby daughter an empty Pringles tin to play with on the floor. I saw some crumbs at the bottom, so I emptied the can in my mouth before I gave it to her. I crunched hard and spat them out, realizing my boyfriend had just cut his toenails into the can. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24442) - you deserved it (6477)
On 11/29/2012 at 10:00pm - misc - by lizzard0416 - Canada (Alberta)
Today, drunk at a party, I leaned through a window to throw up. I was outside. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5586) - you deserved it (17401) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 11/28/2012 at 1:20am - health - by kise - Sent from mobile version
Today, I played paintball with a bunch of friends. By the end of the day, my girlfriend and I were the only people left on the field. She shot me mercilessly, and I screamed like a little girl. 30 people watched, 4 people filmed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7756) - you deserved it (16625)
Today, my friends and I were playing truth or dare game. It was late and we were drunk, so they dared me to run naked into my neighbor's yard while yelling, "Help! The pixies took my penis!" I ran screaming right into their big family reunion. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5386) - you deserved it (26380)
On 11/21/2012 at 4:06pm - misc - by nekkidness (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I had to present a program to my supervisors in University. Not being a native English speaker, I used my own invented abbreviations for parameters in the program. Apparently STD is not an appropriate abbreviation for "standard deviation." I can still hear them laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15191) - you deserved it (6210)
On 11/09/2012 at 11:23am - work - by EnglishLearner (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)
Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20432) - you deserved it (1706)
On 11/08/2012 at 11:54pm - misc - by Targeted - United States (Washington)
Today, my daughter called me telling me she had her twin girls. She named them Juli and Anne. Her name is Julianne. Her kids are going to fucking hate her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23327) - you deserved it (2376)
On 10/31/2012 at 1:01am - kids - by poorkids (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, my boyfriend of a year broke up with me by saying, "It's not you, it's me. I have a terrible taste in women." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20911) - you deserved it (2042)
On 10/30/2012 at 9:27am - love - by LonelyMe -
Today, my family and I are sitting in our house while Hurricane Sandy is going on. My grandma is freaking out because she believes it's our recently deceased dog Sandy getting revenge for putting her to sleep and getting a new dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19774) - you deserved it (1590)
On 10/29/2012 at 5:45pm - animals - by With_Love929 - United States (New York)
Today, maintenance came to fix the constantly beeping alarm system near my apartment. They changed it from beeping on-and-off to one never-ending beep, similar to the sound of my sanity flat-lining. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14927) - you deserved it (812)
On 10/29/2012 at 12:31am - misc - by tcm123 - United States (Illinois)
Monday 20 May 2013
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