jjames7543

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jjames7543

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 6 September 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 6294
  • Number of comments : 99
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About jjames7543 : Today, out of my extreme boredom, I am taking the liberty in updating this little "About me" box. I don't know what to say so stop creepin' around my profile.

P.S. my birthday is actually on the 6th, but FML doesn't love me enough to keep the right date when I change it. I know it's only one day off, but still...

jjames7543's page activity

Visits<b>connorhperkins</b> - the 07/01/2016 at 1:24am<b>URBeingLied2</b> - the 05/24/2016 at 2:55pm<b>annoyedperson</b> - the 03/30/2016 at 7:39pm<b>MoodyJ</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 12:08pm<b>thefmlman2011</b> - the 12/21/2015 at 2:18am<b>imshadyxo</b> - the 12/09/2015 at 5:51pm<b>achoo123</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 10:05pm<b>kandysnow</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 8:09am<b>countryb_cth</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 5:42am<b>blueguy135</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 12:03am<b>kzarecor2019</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 8:52pm<b>Xhase</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 6:25pm<b>MelLion</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 6:07pm<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 8:42am<b>JoshArson</b> - the 11/30/2014 at 8:45am<b>Nicky816</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 4:09am<b>odod777</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 5:10pm<b>katherhinooo</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 5:05pm

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jjames7543's favorite FMLs

Today, I was taking a peaceful stroll in the local park when a curious turkey decided to follow me. Trying to shoo it away, I swung my leg at it, as if to fake kick it. Being the stupid animal it is, it decided to fly into my leg as I swung, causing my foot to connect to its neck. It died. FML

by Anonymous / 03/03/2013 at 9:40am / Australia (Queensland) / Animals

Today, I was taking a peaceful stroll in the local park when a curious turkey decided to follow me. Trying to shoo it away, I swung my leg at it, as if to fake kick it. Being the stupid animal it is, it decided to fly into my leg as I swung, causing my foot to connect to its neck. It died. FML

by Anonymous / 03/03/2013 at 9:40am / Australia (Queensland) / Animals

Today, my wife packed my lunch. Inside of my lunchbox was a photo of her eating my sandwiches. FML

by Anonymous / 03/01/2013 at 2:18am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my fiancé is returning home, so I decided to wax myself, thinking things would get intimate. I warmed the wax strips and set them on the counter. Our cat jumped onto the counter and managed to roll onto one of the strips. Suffice to say, the wrong pussy got a painful waxing. FML

by Anonymous / 02/25/2013 at 12:57pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I lost a bet with my friends. I had to go to the super market and buy a copy of 50 Shades of Grey along with a cucumber. The cashier was trying so hard not to laugh while ringing me up. FML

by Anonymous / 02/21/2013 at 8:43am / United States (Idaho) / Miscellaneous

Today, as my lame excuse to not give a guy I met at a club my phone number, I told him I didn't have a cell phone. Guess what I checked when he asked me what time it was a few minutes later. FML

by hhhhhhhpeterwut / 02/18/2013 at 10:21pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, my father gave me his blessing to be married on one condition: that I keep my maiden name when I marry. My fiancé thought it would be "epic". My last name will be hyphenated to Cobb-Webb. FML

by MsCobb / 02/16/2013 at 10:27am / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, I won $50 on the lottery. On the subway home, I checked my pocket to see if the money was still there. A very professional man in a suit yelled, "Hey, that's mine!" I got several dirty glares. I'm such a pathetic wimp that I gave him the money. FML

by Anonymous / 02/07/2013 at 7:28pm / Canada (Ontario) / Money

Today, working as a nurse, I saw a patient in for follow-up after a partial leg amputation. I checked her blood pressure and gave her the reading, which prompted her husband to ask what it meant. She replied, "I'm alive." Before I could stop myself, "And kicking" spilled out of my mouth. FML

by facepalm / 02/04/2013 at 10:30pm / United States (New Jersey) / Health

Today, for the first time in weeks, my wife felt frisky, and we started fooling around. Half-way through undressing me, she bolted out, claiming she had the shits. About five minutes later, she tearfully called out from the bathroom, begging me to bring her a fresh roll of toilet paper. FML

by FUCK GOD / 02/03/2013 at 6:04pm / Argentina (Salta) / Love

Today, at my retail job, a woman came to my till with her purchases. After I scanned all her items, she handed me two small bags. One was filled with nickels and dimes. The other was filled with cents. Her total was $28.53. The coins amounted to $22.30. FML

by fuckedbyretail / 02/02/2013 at 9:53am / United States (North Carolina) / Work

Today, it's been two months since I got a kitten. He loves to hide, and then surprise me by jumping out of his hiding place. It was quite a surprise when he launched himself out of my bag during class. FML

by Kitten_Love / 01/28/2013 at 2:52pm / Animals

Today, it's been two months since I got a kitten. He loves to hide, and then surprise me by jumping out of his hiding place. It was quite a surprise when he launched himself out of my bag during class. FML

by Kitten_Love / 01/28/2013 at 2:52pm / Animals

Today, someone put a whole packet of glitter on the blades of my ceiling fan. Too bad I only noticed when I turned it on. FML

by hopelessteej / 01/28/2013 at 8:55am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was trying on some shoes. As I was bending down, an old lady with a walking frame slowly approached. As she got close she whispered to me "Mmm, you've got a nice tushie." My girlfriend will not let me hear the end of it. FML

by Creeped out / 01/28/2013 at 3:14am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous